Hi everyone... it seems the minute i wake up, i am overwhelmed with depression. I wake most days at 5am without a clock so i either jog or work a nordik track for an hour just to get rid of the blues...then i'm fine til about 3pm and depression sets in again. it's like those exercise endorfins wear off and i have a hard time thinking positive ... we are tight on money but i end up buying a venti mocha frappachino just to lift my mood. It is so hard to change my thinking negative ...at 53 yo i really need to change ... i take two 0.5 xanex a day and no other meds ...i listen to my tapes constantly ... my marriage is very shaky... i still manage doing okay at work but i wonder how long can i maintain this way of living ... any suggestions anyone??

Hello..It's really hard to keep those negative thoughts at bay..I find that they can ruin a perfectly good day in an instant. Sounds like you've got a lot on your plate with a shakey marriage..that can ruin anyones day! Try to remember that "thoughts" are just that and with some practice, you can replace the negative ones with just "in-the-moment" ones. It's hard at first but I found that it does work...I find myself playing out a whole bad scenario in my head and next thing I know, I'm anxious, depressed, angry, etc.....Who Needs It??? So, I repeat to myself as one guy on the CD's did (or still does) "Thoughts, just thoughts". And it does help. Check your caffeine intake too. Decaf, decaf, decaf!!!

Thanks for the feedback... it's early morning and I plan to work out for an hour and keep track and knock out negative stuff with positive. I am switching to green tea as often as I can and yes i do say what Ken says on the tapes "thought only thoughts" but it is difficult. I have been through a lot in my 53 yrs but didn't feel life would be this hard at this point ... i do deserve to be happy and i need to take care of myself. No pill or therapist will perform magic on me. It's up to me to change. This is my second time at the program. I feel like i'm at the bottom of a deep black well ...it is time to look up and see the stars.