I was reading and I was on hear I was seeing a therapist ...I was doing it all ... then I started to feel better or like I was on the way to getting better.... and BOOM scary thoughts having a hard time leaving my house again (not that I was very good at that one yet ) I am feeling overwelmed again !!! I cant seem to make my 10 year relationship work and that is a major stress .. I Cant work right now !! there are days I cant leave my house !!!What if we split and then what !! My scary thoughts are coming back again and My father the other day tells me that my two aunts that I never see across the world have scitzofrinia( i now that is not spelt right ) Well since then i have been so paranoid that I will start seeing things or be taken over by a voice ...it seems that is all that is on my mind !!! I can get scared by one comment from someone in passing .. and it can switch my whole mood for days !!! I am scared to be alone !!! oh I just feel like I have to understand that this is who i am now !! I dont need to understand how 9 months ago this blew up in my face !!!literally .. i mean I had anxiety !!! but know it i acompanied by thoughts .. and I am always dizzy ... Help Me !! I have 3 weeks like I could get back out there and start to think about challenging myself and here I am again !!! What do I do to cure this for good !!

Hello Malaya. I was hoping somebody would respond to your post.

I'm afraid I'm not going to be much of a help but please know that I have recently been going through some of the things you are describing. First off, some of the things you are saying are actually starting with the worse possible words you could ever say to yourself - WHAT IF? These are words that at this exact moment there are no answers for. We must learn not to beat ourselves up over the unknown.

I am one of those people who experience a months worth of anxiety and then it seems to leave me alone for a year or more - and then it rears it's ugly head again. Am I more anxious at the time it appears? Should I have been able to see it coming? I do not know. All I do know is that dwelling on the stuff is what keeps it hanging around with us. I know that is way easier said that done and at this moment I have resorted to medication to help me through my rough time. But it will pass!! At least it always has passed for me. As long as I choose not to get caught up in it anymore. Once again...easier said than done.

Shawn.