I wrote this today in my Journaling:

At Work (right after therapy).
3:34 p.m.

ANGRY & conflicted/frustrated!

Dear Dr. Hoffman Stern,

Why are you doing this to me? You did it last semester too, �went away� during my first week of school. Your timing is off again! You tell me this stuff right before I am going to meet a new doctor and start a new semester � yes I know, your plan of two sessions beforehand is supposed to make everything all better.

Sometimes I feel like you generally care about me and my well being, and other times I think you just say things that you think I want to hear (for example �I can do changes and be okay.�)

At the same time, I know this is supposed to be �good for me� because there won�t always be a therapist around to save the day.

LIFE IS A BITCH THAN YOU DIE (I am having a hard time trying not to believe this).

I do not feel okay. I am tired of trying to change. I hate who I am, so why don�t we work on liking myself � probably because that is not possible. I feel like I need a vacation from trying.

I think I will always be miserable, and that�s just how it is.

HOW MUCH LONGER SHOULD I KEEP WORKING ON MYSELF IN THERAPY? (I am not getting results quick enough or without going through Emotional Distress!)

Sincerely,
Tahirra
(not an actual letter)

Wow I have had days like that. I know how you feel . My mom told me one time that its okay to feel depressed and angry but after 24 hours you have to look in the mirror and say thats it. Time to get on with life its a new day .I FEEL FOR YOU BUT PLEASE HANG IN THERE IT WILL GET BETTER

thanks