Well this past Friday I created some invitations for a baby shower that is going to be thrown by the ladies of my motorcycle club. I was sort of proud of them and eager to share them with the ladies. I also had two brand new leather jackets that a woman from work was interested in selling so I sort of thought it would be nice to take the 45 minute trip down to see my biker friends and show them the coats and the invitations. On Friday I asked my husband about going down there and he said he was tired but we would go this weekend. Saturday came and he lied on the couch until 11:00 and then he went out and mowed some of our 2 acres. I mentioned going to see the ladies - I guess I should clarify that I had set a high expectation for him to go there with me so that was the purpose for me not just heading down there by myself. I thought this could be something we did together that cost us absolutely no money - except for gas. Well I sort of moped around all day Saturday and it went so far as to even effect me all day Sunday. I guess I grew resentful that I am unable to make a suggestion to do something (anything) and have him say "Sure..that sounds great..let's go."

So around 2pm on Sunday I began to cry and finally explained to him why I wanted to go (proud of the invitations and it was something for us to do together - visit some friends, maybe even have a nice time). So we finally did go but the crying that I experienced felt so much like rage from inside of me. I was so upset that he seemingly does not care about things that are important to me. We spoke some about it.

However on Monday as I had to return to work after my icky self-induced anger ridden weekend - even on the Klonopin I felt some anxiety brewing inside of me. It is now Tuesday morning and I took a Klonopin but I felt such a sadness for carrying on the way that I did. So I thought about it and sure enough no wonder I feel this way after what I put myself through over the weekend. So I went and woke my husband up and shared with him that I was sorry for acting the way that I did. He really had no clue how important it was for me to "get my way." And I should not have taken it out on him. I explained that I had completely ruined my weekend and I treated him poorly.

Thanks for listening. Shawn.

Shawn,

Welcome to the world of being human. We all try to manipulate once in a while. Don't let it get you down. No one is perfect.

Take care-Silvana

I used to do that all the time...now it only ruins one day instead of 3 of 4 - lol. Dont fret, its normal. even people who dont have anxiety do this. I know for me, I like my husband to OFFER to do things he knows I want to do or are important to me cause it shows he CARES! However, my HIGH EXPECTATIONS of him are irrational and I need to say what I want. I have learned that he cares about me even if he cant read my mind - ha ha! Its hard works and we all need to work on it. I hope you are feeling better today!