Hi all,
a couple of things. I am noticing after seesion 3 and how much work it was, I don't feel that I am giving the progtram enough time. Isit because 3 was so intense and these are shorter or am I slacking off. Haven't been doing my breathing 10 times a day and my 20 minutes of positive self talk. I do feel that I am devoting 3/4 of my day to this but I would spend all day doing the program if giving the time..any feedback?

Any suggestions on what to do with 5 years of stuffed away anger about a jealous freind? In brief...Jealous friend says horrible things to break up me and guy! This was a well known celeb. An ebarassing event in front of many well known people. I was dumped. never knew what happened. finally friend admits she said S**t to break up...friend has mental illness I have known about for years....still sad about the guy...I have a lot of anger over this whole thing. Do I confront the guy or the friend once I have finished assertive session. I really want to know what was said, if that was the reason got dumped!

THN

CatGirl,
I am not providing advice just to share some insight. I had a very good friend for over 17 years. We had the same kind of humor and we were very close. We would fight every year over some issue. I was hurtful and she was hurtful and we were both guilty! After 17 years it was time to dissolve our friendship. I love her dearly and would do anything for her. I think only positive things about her, but our relationship was not serving our best interests. We parted two years ago, and I hope on good terms. Do I miss her friendship? Yes! Do I miss the arguments! No!

Hi all,
I must say that i can relate to this discussion at this time in my life.
i am contemplating dissolving a friendship that i have had for almost 10 yrs.
This friend has let me down in the times that i really needed her most, some of them were, when she was my maid of honor and did not do the things that a moh would normally do, when my dad died, she did not call for 2 mths, and other things.
It just seems like i have to make all the effort in the friendship and i am tired of that and i constantly am feeling disappointed and hurt by her.
Anyways, for the person that originally started this thread, you will know what to do once you are in teh assertive part of the program. and it may be a way to help you deal with this issue that you obviously have alot of feelings around still. Good luck!

CatGirl

I can sometimes get stuck thinking about friendships and past romantic interests. It is almost an obsessive thing; I can think about it too much. But you are working on it, and with time, if you keep at it -- you will move toward a more peaceful place regaring these relationships.

As you go steadily through the lessons, I think you'll get a better understanding of the way you want to deal with this. Best wishes!

And one more thing,"tricia"said in another post:
. . . Oprah said on one of her shows last year. Basically it goes like this:
"Forgiveness happens when you give up the hope that the past could be different. It's when you stop thinking "I could have," and "I should have."

I am still hurt over the lack of attention from a woman who claims to be my "best friend". I do not hear from her for months, but promptly get a tearful phone call if I forget to send her a birthday card. When she does call, 3/4 of our time on the phone consists of her screaming at her kids. (Yeah. I've got some lil' darlings of my own, but I ask hubby to watch them when I talk to old pals.) She makes no effort to visit. After several five hour drives to her home, I figure the ball's in her court. I love her, she's a lot of fun when I do see her, but it just ain't worth it anymore. I have told her all of this outright, with no changes on her part. It is Oct., her b-day month. No card from me this year, and I'll no longer take her calls.

quote:

This was a well known celeb. An ebarassing event in front of many well known people.

Firstly who is it incase i like them lol jk... Well id say its there own insecurities! dont settle for it IM

A thought on all this

I've noticed my relationships with friends changing as I go through this program. I've shed some friends am spending more time with others.

Some "friends? I saw really did not have my best interests in mind, were negative and I choose not to surround myself with that. When I was stubbornly negative also, I gravitated to people like that.

So changing friends isn't a bvad thing

I got this program because I still have intense anxiety and intermittent explosions over an affair my husband had five years ago. I can't seem to feel safe in the world. I used to be so idealistic. My world crashed and burned. It's the anger I want to get rid of. It's extremely damaging to the relationship (which I want to keep because of my young child.) Any ideas?