Well, gang, I made it to Lesson 6. I am still having anxiety and over Easter I really did well, but my son never called or showed up so it has been down hill ever since. Finally today I wrote him and email and merely said I love you, instead of reading him the riot act, and he responded....love you too. All is well and I did not show my anger or my disappointment.
I do have the shakes and my BP is up again, but I am controlling my anger. Is this the way it works? I always felt blowing my top made me feel better...I am being calm outside but having a terrible problem inside. Any suggestions?

That is good that you are aware of your feelings. When I get that nervous energy I try to do something with it. When I have that nervous feeling the more that I try to stay calm the worse I feel. Try to move around and get busy next time. See it that helps at all.
If you can try to go for a walk in the sunlight that is very refreshing. It will make a world of difference. My friends son did not show on Easter no call or anything. She yelled and told him off. I think how you handled it was much better. You should be proud of yourself.

Thank you Peace, it was 4:30 a.m. when it started and too dark to walk so I got on the computer and read all my email and did some bookwork. I will be busy all day so hopefully it will work out. My BP is down to 140/85 so it is settling down. Thanks again for your kind words. I just needed to talk to someone.

Well Bless Your Heart Barndog.
Just how high does your blood pressure get?
When you are upset. This concerns me! 140/85 is good though, but just how high does it get? Just curious.
cindy

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Well Bless Your Heart Barndog.
Just how high does your blood pressure get?

HiCindy...it varies from 150/90 to higher when I get upset. It has been so good for about a month since I started the lessons and a few days before Easter when I heard my son was not participating in any of the family dinners, it started to jump around. I tried to control it with the relaxation tapes and when I went to the doctor yesterday it was 150/90 and then after we talked it went down to 144/76, which is not too bad. I like it when it stays in the 130's over 80. Thanks so much for your concern.

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144/76,

Sorry, I meant 144/86...makes a difference.

Sounds like you are on the right track. If you need to talk we are here to listen!
Hope you have a good day!

Barndog,
Hi I'm sorry about your anxiety and about Easter It stands to reason that you were anxious. Sounds like you dealt with it so well. Be proud of yourself! Remember we can only speak for our own actions in life. It's really hard to hear how badly you would like to be with your family and grandson I welcome family at anytime in fact that is what is most important to me. I'm on the other end wishing that my kids had Grandparents that cared to see them and watch them grow up! Seems everyone is too busy for anything other than a card. When I was growing up family was everything and there was always get togethers. Now everyone is just too tired or too busy to make the time. Your a great person and they are so lucky to have you and I hope they WAKE UP! Take care and sorry this is late coming as I haven't been on in a bit.

Nice to hear from you Begone...are you well and happy? I am o.k. today...just came in from mowing theChristmas Tree grass (on the tractor) and it was a good two hours in the sunshine. That always makes me feel good. I think we can all be so thankful we at least have each other. I am so happy to be able to get on here and pour my heart out and have someone care and respond. I do not complain to my daughter or she will raise bloody "H" with her brother, then they would be fighting and that would make me feel even worse. So I put on a good face with her. It is difficult because we live in connected areas. My end of the house is connected to hers by just a door and although I have alot of privacy, they are just next door in case of an emergency. Great set up for us all.

I will be thinking about you....have a good evening and keep in touch. Fondly, Barndog