Has any one written letters to people from their past who rejected them or treated them unfairly or worse? I think I have forgiven them but one was in the news recently and a lot of the old feelings came back. I really dislike the person. I have heard that forgiveness means giving up the idea of getting back at them for the pain they caused.

P.S. I know you don't actually send the letters. lol

Hi Don. yes. Yes. YES! I wrote about doing this in a previous post, I forget which one. I started doing this as a result of Session Three Self Talk, journaling the negative things we say to ourselves. I started a separate journal, for writing letters to people I resented. Of course, they were not for sending, just writing. Since that time I have also, in same journal, wrote the letter again, without looking at the first one. As I progress through each session, my letters are less and more realistic. It is helping me separate the fact from fiction of what I felt. Now on Session Six, it makes sense. I was holding on to the bad feelings as a means of holding on to controlling the person, who long ago forgot ME, and waiting for the BIG apology, which never comes. Like the guy who stayed mad at his elementary school teacher for 15 years. Dumb stuff we do. It only hurts us. My letters are really helping me let go. My first letters were so angry, filled with such resentment, and now I can write the same letter, and I don't even feel angry, and I have been releasing the resentment. Resentment, for me is what hangs me up with these people. It isolates me so that I don't move past that place with certain people, and that literally bounds me to them. Kind of like finding an old dead tree and tying myself to it, then waiting to be rescued by my enemies. Dumb. What are you doing with your letters? What are you solving and how do you feel afterwards. I am fascinated and you have my full attention. Kind regards, Pecos.

Hello Don,
I've written a letter to a Doctor that botched a surgery I had years ago. After the fact he never came to see me and always sent an associate from his staff. That angered me and I took my frustrations out on others. I focused on getting better but nightmares made me realize something had to be done. I could no longer sue him because of the ever changing laws in the state I lived in at the time, so I decided to write him a letter so I could make him feel how I felt. I am a good writer and wrote a heartfelt letter and as I put it in the envelope and addressed it, I asked God to deliver it to him and let him feel what I felt and understand how hurtful and bad his actions were and hope he never makes any other patient feel the way I did. As I put the letter in the mailbox I felt the pressure lift off my chest as I also asked God to relieve the burden of anger I had. I know it sounds dramatic but I exhaled deeply as I sent the letter off and all I could do was leave it in God's hands that it got to his home and office.
Yes it is HARD to forgive but in doing so it lifts the burden of the anger, hate etc from you. I've forgiven the Dr in my heart even though as I type I grit my teeth but what will holding on to the anger do to me? Make for more nightmares? I know if I see him I would get angry and want to go smack him no. I felt that way in the past. I wouldn't be able to recognize him now thank the Lord!

Getting your feelings off your chest is great in the healing process of so many life's zingers that gets thrown at us! It is theraputic to be able to write down your true feelings and get things off your chest whether it is with your therapist, friend, spouse or even the person that has hurt you. Keeoing the feelings bottled up will manifest in many ways and some aren't good for you.

Don, it's amazing that I found your post just RIGHT AFTER I began to journal my past. It isn't a "letter" really, just a journal I started some time ago, from earliest age of recollection to NOW. The part I am on now is about my previous marriage and I literally had to put it down and go pray.. I can't believe that I am hanging on to so much of my past. Now, I have asked my ex husband to forgive me for ANYTHING that may have hurt him when we were together and in turn, he asked me to forgive him. I THOUGHT I did, but just today as I'm writing this very detailed discription about my life with him, it made me very emotional and gave me an upset stomach??? Why is that? I am happily married again with two small toddlers..why is this happening NOW? Perhaps I NEVER got over it(there was alot of pain and emotional abuse involved) I'm afraid of losing my now husband over all of this anxiety and depression. I cannot seem to get out of this cycle. I felt ON TOP of the world just a couple of weeks ago and bam, I'm back down again. anyways, thanks for listening. Just venting I guess.
take care and God bless you all
Robin