I was born on June 28, 1948. I am a cancer. I love home and family. The most important people in my life are my childre, grandchildren and great grandchildren. We all have bits and pieces of memories of our child hood on into our adult hood. I remeber very vaguely about the time my sisters husband tried to rape me. I could never let it go. I remeber very well the day I was nine and a half at the court house in florida when my mother lost us to the courts and place into foster care. I was having a hard time in school. my foster parents mother was a first grade teacher. So at ten I went to live with her. I started back over in the third grade. I past that year and went on to fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh and eighth grades. I failed the eighthby that time I was 16 . I didnt seem to be interested in school that much anymore. This new foster mother was more interested in making me keep house, laundry, ironing, at 10 years old I could iron a grown mans pants . I now know that all she wanted was a maid. I was mowing yardds with an electric lawn mower at 10. I worked in flower beds, cut shrubs two miles long, polishes wood floors. I was direscted what to do when I got home. Would stay up late in my books studing for test at 3 and 4 in the morning. I returned home to GA in November of 64. my mother, grandmother step sister, and three brothers were never close with the family. I met my first husband and in December of 64 we were married. He was not loving or caring husband nor a father but for a while I was happy with him. We lived in the home with his mother and she had control over everthing. We had 2 children together. He became very abusivewith the children and myself. After 20 years and the children grown I left. They seem to go down hill and his mother went into a nursing home. I had 1 child with my seond husband. My marriage with him lasted 1 year. I was given custody. All I can say is God knows what he is doing. A year later I remarried and we were married 12 years. We traveled together and were very happy. We started suffering in 85 and I was fighting depression and anxiety and he said that we could divorce and I could get all the help I needed but he was not going to spend his money on me getting treatment. I suffered 12 long years without medical treatment. Every day I had thoughts of ******* and hearing voices about dying. I feel like if my children woud not have been in my life I would not be here. I have come along way now that I have received help. I find my days a little more enjoyable. We are alot better and without people that want to be in control. I dont like to worry with people who like to talk about the past and remind me of all the bad things. I want to forget my past if it is all possible. I would ke to live somewhere where no one knows me. I live alone with no one to worry about but myself. I have an insight now of what is going on with myself. I dont wake up fearing my day, I dont sit in the house isolated from the world. I am learning the computer that makes me feel like I can do anything. I dont think negative thoughts like I did and if they start to cross my mind i stop myself. Put a positive thought in place instead. It is true that you are what you eat. We have control of what we think. A life of bad thoughts become a habit.
Patricia

Anice,
Thanks you for your story. God Bless and keep you. Im glad your learning the computer. Your value is worth so much more than you give yourself... Nelly

hey there anice, 1948 a good year.i was also born in 48. i liked your story too. mine is too long to type,as i am a i finger typer. welcome and glad to see you are doing well. peace be with ya,kp

Patricia,
Welcome and God bless. Sounds like you have come a long way and the positives are growing for you.
Huge hugs to you. Please keep posting. So many of us can relate to at least some of your story, or quite a bit of it. Lots of women (and men) here who have been through the ringer and come out worn out. But then, we triumph and our strength is incredible even to ourselves. It may take us a while to get there, but my gosh we do.