Hi Everyone!

Well, let me start off by saying that I am doing the coaching program -- am now in Lesson 7 and have learned sooo much. However, given the type of personality I have (black/white thinking, overgeneralizing, reacting without thinking, etc.), I have been having lots of difficulty in each area. I DO give myself credit because I am trying and I am making strides -- just not quickly enough for my own satisfaction, and, of course, I don't have it under control and I SHOULD (lol). Anyway, I know that since I started the program, I have been thinking about the things I am learning in each lesson 24/7. I am VERY aware of things, and I do know that that is half the battle.

The reason I am posting today is because I have been having a very difficult time with anger lately (and feeling very much a victim). I know that it's probably tied in with PMS, but I don't want to believe that that is the total reason I am acting this way. It seems once I get down about something, I know I should let it go, but I struggle with it and then I get mad at myself for being so weak!! Also, when I get angry (especially with the family), it seems like I just blow up -- it happens even before I talk myself out of reacting negatively.

Maybe I'm just being too hard on myself (which wouldn't surprise me), but I would be very interested to hear from anyone else who battles these things and how they approach it or, better yet, how they have overcome it. Also, for those who may have gotten over the first few hurdles, did it take a long time? Did you go through the "extreme awareness of it all" before you could actually react more effectively?

ANY advice you can give would be most appreciaed. Thanks for listening.

I did the coaching program and finished last Oct.Letting go of anger was a big factor for me too.You have to change your reactions to the things that make you mad.it's better to just let it go.Easier said than done I know.It takes practice,patience and then more practice and patience.I'm sure your coach will have some useful hints for you too.I had trouble with the black and white issue.Be patient with that too,you will find the gray area.It will balance out as you begin to see the truth of your anxiety and the way you deal with it.It sounds as though you know what is right and that you see where you need work.Don't get in a hurry because more anxiety is sure to follow.It takes time and practice to make the skills you are learning a habit.I don't think I have to remind you that your negativity is well ingrained.You can call on that negativity so easily.The positive we have to work on.It sounds like you are doing that.Be content that you are going in the right direction.Praise and give yourself credit for even the little things.All does not go perfect all the time--that's why we practice.You are still practicing and I am too.We can learn from those things that don't go as we thought they should.You are being a little hard on yourself,show yourself some compassion,I'm sure you give out more than what you allow to give yourself.We're all good for that.I think things will work out for you as you view situations as practice opportunites.It will all come around for you.Take care and I hope I was some help to you.Keep posting out here-it's a little quiet out here today(holiday) but there's a lot of wonderful people here most of the time.I forgot to mention that I have six cats and eight dogs.If thats not balance I don't know what is.Ha!Again,take care.

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Tim

[This message has been edited by Oakey (edited 03-30-2002).]