Anger is an human emotion that does nothing but harm to the other person. It's an ugly emotion one that we can all work on to become more loving and forgiving.

Are you an ANGRY PERSON? WHAT STEPS ARE YOU TAKING TO HAVE YOUR ANGER MORE UNDER CONTROL?


Hi Everyone,

I thought I would post on how to control my anger better since I really have to keep working on that one! From time to time there are people in our lives that really make us feel angry. People say and do things that irritate us to no end. Sometimes you just want to scream and let it all out. But that really dosen't to much good does it?

My husband is a kind of person that is always ready for a fight. He gets irritiated very easily and I always have to watch what I say to him because he will get very defensive and before you know it I start.

I want to learn to have more control over his anger and not let it get out of hand. Our Lives can be so much easier if I would just control myself not to over react to his anger. I am trying to control my emotions with him but it;s just so hard.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how you handle anger at someone else. I would appreciate it.

Thanks,

Happy Face!!!

Dear Happy Face:

Oh yes, I kind of had an anger problem. As I told my psychiatrist when I 1st started therapy(2005) "I always felt as though I was or had to defend myself against everyone. Like, I was always ON GUARD".. Not that I was balistic or anything, I wasn't. However, often at times: I took things way too personally, I always had to defend myself, & the slightest infraction I felt an individual committed against me - I was on them LIKE WHITE ON RICE. This was THE ME prior to THERAPY & THE PROGRAM.

Anxiety triggered in apr - 2005. I immediately started therapy. I went thru 20 intense mths of therapy. Then, in Nov-2006, I went thru Lucinda's program. Simultaneously, I also journaled & researched: reading like 16 diff books on anxiety & depress.

In my particular case, what I realized was: I had a lge amount of suppressed anger/pain/fear/resentment for events fr childhood & teenage yrs - traumatic & dysfunctional. I never learned to DEAL & FEEL. Rather, as far back as 5 yrs old, for me it was always LIVE & SURVIVE - so, I never learned life skills. Basically, MY CUP SPILLETH OVER- there wasn't any more room in my EMOTIONAL SELF - hence anxiety disorder triggering. Unbeknownst to me, I just kept piling it on - no wonder I was so often angry. Not only had I been thru some cumulative trauma - I never learned how to deal w/ it & I never allowed myself to admitt & feel these things. I didn't feel good, I was in pain & my anger/acting out was the END RESULT.

Once, I went thru therapy, the program, & did some serious EMOTIONAL HEALING - I then had room in my EMOTIONAL STORAGE - for the GOOD STUFF - yes, all the things the program teaches us. I had unburdened myself of all the previous excess emotional baggage of the past & I was ready to LEARN A HEALTHIER WAY OF LIFE: mentally, emotionally, physically, & spiritually. Yes, that includes anger.

You know, as I was going thru my journey to recovery, my husband said something quite powerful to me: "hun, you don't have to fight every battle. Fight the wars of life - the important stuff". He was right. Yes, part of my control on my anger was me finding out why I was so angry - therapy helped me w/ that. Having unburndened myself w/ those emotions, I was then able to & did learn HEALTHIER WAYS TO REACT to life's events - lol, yes as the program teaches I LEARNED TO UNDER-REACT.

For me, it wasn't about 1 ANSWER. It was cumulative & my healing came via therapy, the program, healing, growing, forgiving, letting go of the past, & BEING WILLING to change & changing. I was angry almost all the time, because I was in pain. I just didn't know it. Now, lord have mercy - I feel LIGHTER - I am honestly & sincerely better equipped to LET THINGS ROLL OFF MY BACK - I DON'T SWEAT THE SM STUFF. I suppose, as my hubby said to me in the beginning, "I worry about the wars of life - the important stuff".

LENORE

Hi Lenore,

Thank you for your personal comments on anger you had brought up some things that I completely forgot about. When I was a young girl I had lots of anger, distrust, personal emotional pain that I was suffering from my early school days with my classmates in a CATHOLIC SCHOOl that were constantly picking on me. They just got a joy out of seeing me miserable. And I still wanted to be a friend to them even through they were nasty to me. After several years of this torture my mother had taken me out of the school because I could not stand it anymore.

After one year in a public school I had some freedom. My mother did not want me to go to a junior high school on the tougher side of town so I went to a better school (I thought) in a well trusted community. After several months it started all over again. This time it was a young boy who's father knew my mothers family when he was young. His father had told his son all about my mother's family beause they were raised on a farm. This young boy sure had the time of his life making my life miserable again and this time he was on my school bus. I really could not get away from him. My mother again had taken me out of the school because I could not stand to go to school anymore. IT IS ANY WONDER WHY I HAD ANXIETY LATER ON IN MY LIFE!

On the radio the other day I heard something very special: The women was talking about bullying! Young children that bully other young children give them low self-esteem, lack of love, fear, anxiety, depression when these young children grow up to be adults. THIS IS WHERE IS ALL STARTS.

Now as adults we have all this anxiety, depression, low-self esteem, panic attacks and agoraphobia. Thank god for the Midwest Center and their fantastic program that they put together for all of us who are in the same shoes. We have to dust ourselves off and start all over again. This time thinking good positive thoughts about ourselves, love ourselves again, gain our strength back, stand up for ourselves and be the person that all those other kids really never did see in me. What a pity for them, they were the ones that lost!

Me, I went through the program and got my life back and I am having a ball enjoying every minute of it.

Happy Face!!!

Wow, just reading both of your responses, made me realize, I also have anger bottled up inside. From past experiences I realize alot of it is hurt and it comes out as anger. It was very interesting reading what you both wrote. Going on my third week in the program. I feel the difference already. I'm excited on my healing process, living a healthier life and enjoying my husband and kids again.

Hi Rosie 1,

Thank you so much for responding to the anger post. Anger is one of my bad habits that I have to learn how to control. I am not usually an angry person but being marriage to my husband all these years he has always been pushing my buttons. He gets irritated very easily and anything can get him going.

Since I have gone through the program I have learned several things about him. I always thought he has was the strong person because by using his anger with me he wanted to be always right, he wanted to have his own way, he felt he was the one in charge. I have change alot especially how I relate to things, having more self-confidence than I had before, standing up for myself, believing in what I want out of life and working toward getting it. Not over reacting to situations, keeping myself more calmer and not being afraid to tell people what I think.

So I have learned that I am really the strong person by standing up to my husband and not letting him push me around like he did for years. I have an opinion and I stand by what I say. And sometimes he dosen't like that, he tells he that I am wrong in the skills that I have learned from the program. It is very hard to deal with a person that has never gone through the program and dosen't understand all the skills that you need to be learning in order to change to get rid of my anxiety. Which I did! And I will always stand up for the skills that I have learned because they are what made up a new person. I can take charge of my own life now, before the program I used to think my husband had control of his life where I can see now that he really dosen't. The Stress & Anxiety Program would help him to control his angry and see life in a much different way.

Happy Face!!!

Hi Everyone,

Is there anyone out in the community who feels they have a anger problem that needs to be worked on? Do you get irrated very easily? Do you always feel mad, easily to upset, feel you have to talk loud and yell at the other person to have a get the message across.

I am usually a very calm person minding my own business or may have a need to ask a question to my husband. Then he will start!!!!!
Is this anyway to have a conversation with another person? I don't think sooo!!!!

Just how do you feel inside when someone is making you feel bad and saying things that are not even true. It certainly makes me feel terrible. Anger is negative energy and is very hurtful and harmful. You usually say things at the time when you are angry you don't even mean but you will say them anyway Does anyone have any comments of this subject?

Happy Face!!!

To everyone in the community,

I had recently posted the subject Are you an angry person? No one really had an interest in talking about if you were an angry person. Now, I know not all of us are happy and think our lives are just going as well as it can be. Are we enjoying ourselves? Traveling anywhere we want to go? Getting out there and meeting new people and getting ourselves involved with society?

If not, then you must be angry with yourself that you cannot at this time do these things that you would like to do. Are you frusterated with your life? Getting up every morning and pulling yourself to get through the day? I can't do this and I can't do that and please don't even ask me to go out and drive down the road to the grocery store I won't be able to do that! Is this your life????

GOOD NEWS MY FRIEND! You have the best program in the world right at your fingertips and you don't even know it. I have gone through the program 4 years ago and I am a recovered severe anxiety sufferer. I am here to tell you that this program DOES WORK if you work it. Your life can change and you will be the person whoever you want to be, Just do it!!!

Dont't just sit around and say to yourself I will never get better. You will I promice you that from the bottom of my heart. I have been there and I am FREE!

Happy Face!!!

Hi Funnyface. Yes I suffer with anger and have a lot of buttons that get pushed from time to time. But in my case I have my artwork to keep me preoccupied so I don't blow every second. Infact I also attend Toastmasters to which I give speeches that allows me to get major issues off my chest and have a group of supporters their to help cheer me on. My last presentation I spoke about MY HEROES. Meaning Comedians. And I told the group how the Healing element of LAUGHTER HAS HELPED ME IN MY RECOVERY OF MY MANIC DEPRESSION. Anyways my speech won me the BEST SPEAKER AWARD for that day. And not only that but I've also been working hard to find a business here in town to put some of my art work up on display and I think last night I found one hotel that's willing to do just this for consignment. So as long as I plow ahead with my goals and talent while working the program I see a great future for me and my work. Thanx for all your comments on this issue, too. I feel we all have talent in one area of our lives and all we have to do is hone in on it and do something unique with it. All of you reading this know what I'm talking about. So go for it! Thanx again.

Well it's been about a week since I last checked in and that hotel I spoke of before is wanting to put my artwork on display in their gift shop and Sunday was my 49th Birthday and I got together with my mom and some friends and we celerbrated it at CoCo's with the star attraction being one of my Tasty Toons starring on my cake. I feel since I've joined the program that my entire life and attitude has grown leaps and bounds since my first time doing this. Check it out for yourselves. My e-mails are an open book to anyone wishing to know how stuck in my mental tarpit I was. But since I joined well the proof is in my spirit and so far I'm flying HIGH and with no simulates either. Cool huh?

HI SlimJim,

That you so much for your wonderful success story. You have just begun getting out there and facing your fear of getting your artwork out in the public's eye. I myself know that is not an easy task to do. Since I have gone throught the program myself 4 years ago I can call and talk on the phone to anyone. I am not afraid like I used to be. I was just like you I just could not get myself to pick up the phone and talk to people about my service or product.

I LOVE YOUR HEALING ELEMENT OF LAUGHTER!! That is definately positive energy. And it makes you feel so good. Hugging someone is another type of healing energy. Did you know that you use more muscles in your face to frown then to laugh? People that laugh are happy people! They give out positive energy that envites you to be a part of the action. CONGRADULATIONS SlimJim!!

Happy Face!!!

Hello everyone,
I loved reading the posts on anger. I am just finishing up on session six and let me tell you, this is the most wonderful program. The insight into our personalities is amazing. A lot of the things I have learned in the program is a real eye opener. I am the type of person that stuffs my anger, only to blow at the people closest to me. When I blow, look out! I had to laugh at Caroline in the group discussion in session 6. I to, have a hole in my wall that I kicked in and I don't remember what I was so mad about. If I told people that I did that, the would be shocked I am constantly told how "nice" I am. But, I would get so mad on the inside everything pissed me off. That type of anger is unproductive and a waste of my energy! My husband is amazed how calm I am when we fight, our communication is sooo much better. It is amazing how much more effective you can be calm and rationale. If things don't work out "perfectly" It;s OK. NO BIG DEAL. That is life. It makes you appreciate when things do go well all the much more!
So I am also raving about this program. I wish everybody would do it (in a perfect world LOL. Today Was my day to decide if I wanted to keep the program or send it back...The insight I have been provided with because this program is worth it's weight in gold!
Take care all, keep positive because it IS better an don't sweat the small stuff!

Hi Presely,

I have to agree with you "THIS PROGRAM IS WORTH ITS WEIGHT IN GOLD" I don't know how many times I had so much anger inside of me that I wanted to yell, scream, throw things and yes slam objects down on the counter that I actually broke it! I looked at which I broke and thought to myself WOW I didn't know I could do that!

When someone is angry you cannot immage the power you have within you. The other night my husband and I went to pick up my brother who lives with us at a restaurant. The weather was not very good it was cold and the roads were starting to get icy. We waited and waited for him to come out of the restaurant but my brother just decided to stay in. My husband went in for him to tell him we were there waiting for him outside. The weather was not getting any better. So, I decided I am going to go in for my brother and this time he is going to come out. I was sooo mad when I got out of the car and headed for the big doors I flew open the door soo hard that it almost came off. I thought to myself WOW I didn't know that I had that kind of strength. What would have happened if the door would have came off I had some explaining to do to the management.

ANGER IS REALLY A BAD NEGATIVE ENERGY THAT WE CAN DO WITHOUT or at least learn how to handle are anger in a much better way. When we are angry we say things we don't even mean, we strike out at people, objects and anything that gets in our way.
I agree with you Presely it certainly would be a better world if everyone would learn how to handle their anger. It's just a waste of time and energy and gets us nowhere.

Happy Face!!!

Hi Happy Face!
Your story made me laugh. It reminded me that I have been in similar situations. I think back to sitting there waiting and getting more angry every minute. Thinking of all the things I was going to say to the person who made me wait. WOW was that really neccesary? What the heck did that accomplish!LOL!
I see that you did the program four years ago. How many times did you do the program? How long had you been trying to manage your anxiety? This is my first time and I am startig session 7 tomorrow. Very excited. I love this program. I love the challenge, and learning new things about myself. I have taken many university courses on this type of stuff as part of my nursing education, but never thought to apply it to my life until now. I didn't even realize I had a problem until 6 months ago! Boy was I angry on the inside. Work was especially hard I would always be angry with people I worked with (on the inside) becasue they couldn't "keep up" but neither could I. My job is very high stress. But now I realize that we were all doing the best we can. I was probably angry with my coworkers beacuse I could not keep up either, and I hated that about myself. "got to be perfect" Deffinately time to let that go!
I have been off work for 2 months, but I am feeling stronger, everyday and look forward to the challenge of returning to work in a few short weeks!
There's my story, This was going to be a short reply, but, I guess you made me feel comfortable and I felt the need to share! LOL
Take care Happy face keep smiling. Presley

Hi there Presely,

You seem like a very interesting, caring person. I guess that is why you are a nurse! You love working with patients and making them feel better. I am the same way but I just could not get myself to go into nursing when I was younger. But as I got older I had a need to want to help people and make them feel better too. So I decided to study the mind (the subconscious mind) how it can make a person act, say things they don't mean, act irrational, give a person all kinds of illness and psychosmatic illness (the mind making the body ill).

Yes, I completed the program 4 years ago and I only went through the program one time. I still listen to my tapes every morning when I am taking a bath. I have kept up with listening to the tapes. I enjoy listening to them even through I have heard them so many times. They keep me thinking straight you want to keep those good positive thoughts in your mind all the time. The tapes are what keeps me going strong and have changed my attitude about life and not over reacting to situation and keeping yourself calm.

Once I received the program it took me about a year to get over my anxiety. The hardest part was going out there and facing my fears. Doing what I thought I would never be able to do. And yet at one time in my life all those fears never existed where did they all come from? I am very happy to say today I am living a fantastic life enjoying myself, driving with ease, going on highways and interstates, going in elevators, I have more self-confidence and self-esteem about myself, I am a very strong person. THAT IS WHAT THIS PROGRAM HAS DONE FOR ME!

I cannot say enough good things about the program. It does and will work! You will get your life back and even a BETTER LIFE THAN YOU HAD BEFORE THE PROGRAM! That is my promise to everyone that is doing the program. You will not believe how great you will feel when your anxiety is gone.

Happy Face!!!