Hi I just need some feedback or maybe some encouragement. I have been having trouble controlling my anger lately. It has really gotten bad this last week. My poor husband has had to deal with this. I yelled at him half the day today. In fact, I was just plain mean. I'm not usually like this and it scares me. I haven't been sleeping well and I'm very tired in fact, I woke up at 5 am this morning and cried for a couple of hours.(I don't know why) That is no excuse though and I know this.

I have also noticed an increased sadness that I can't seem to shake. I am on Buspar for anxiety which has lessened but I'm afraid it's being replaced by the above. Has anyone else experienced this? I don't like being like this. My family has noticed the change. My mom says she can see it in my eyes. I don't laugh like I used to. I love to laugh and want to be that way again soon. I'm hoping this is temporary but I would appreciate some feedback as to what may be happening.

Thanks for listening
Vic

Hi Dena, thanks for the reply.

I am on step four of the program. It is really hard for me not to jump ahead right now but I am not going to. I posted here because I am hoping to get some insight until I get there.

I have been on Buspar for about 6 weeks. Yesterday and over the weekend I was an absolute mess. Today I feel better. These mood swings are wearing me out. I have always had a tendency to get sad. I cry easily and unexpectedly. I can't watch sad movies and if I hear a sad story on the news or somewhere it really affects me. I tried to read the Chicken Soup for the soul books but most of the time I couldn't see the words.

I keep thinking I should toughen up but I don't know if I can. I've been this way for 33 years. People make fun of me for being this way. Oh get over it, they will say or why are you so emotional? If only I knew.

I wonder if being like this gives me a higher chance of suffering from depression. The sadness I felt over the weekend was almost debilitating. Yesterday was frightening. I ask myself if I care so much about things how can I be so hostile. Does this make any sense? I don't even know what caused the sadness. I have also noticed that I am getting my feelings hurt more than normal. Just being a baby about a lot of things. Self pity is not something I usually practice but I notice myself doing it more and more.

When I feel good none of this is an issue. However, lately I don't know how I'm going to feel from one day to the next. I don't know what's worse the anxiety or the depression. I actually slept through the night last night. I felt kind of jittery this morning and became angry with my husband.(he didn't do anything to deserve it) The more the day went on though, the more even kiel I felt.

Any advise on controlling the anger until I get to the tape? This is my problem and I don't want to make anyone else suffer through it.

thanks again-take care
Vic

quote:

Originally posted by Vic:


I have been on Buspar for about 6 weeks. Yesterday and over the weekend I was an absolute mess. Vic

Vic,

Hi!....You might want to check with the Dr that prescribed the Buspar for you.

I know that everyone is different, but I had the same thing happen to me after 10 days on Buspar. I called my Dr and he said to stop. I felt much better after just 2 days.

I know how you feel. During that period of time I cried and was angry alot...which is unlike me (even with the anxiety).

Just a thought for you....hang in there!

quote:

Originally posted by Laura:

Vic,

Hi!....You might want to check with the Dr that prescribed the Buspar for you.

I know that everyone is different, but I had the same thing happen to me after 10 days on Buspar. I called my Dr and he said to stop. I felt much better after just 2 days.

I know how you feel. During that period of time I cried and was angry alot...which is unlike me (even with the anxiety).

Just a thought for you....hang in there!

Dear Vic,
If it is not a result of the medication or any hormonal changes here are a couple of ideas that you can try regardless. When you want to get angry with your husband take your leave. That's right, say excuse me and go to the bathroom or a place were you can be alone. There, give yourself time to think. Perhaps you are angry about something or someone you cannot control and that is the reason you are taking it out on your husband. Your holding it in with others whereas you know your husband loves you and won't leave you just because you loose it. Or your mad at him because your not for some reason happy with the way he is doing things lately. Cool off before you say something you'll regret. Practice replacing the negative with the positive. Then, go back to him and just give him a big hug and say, "dear, I appreciate your efforts in . . . I am just having a difficult time with . . . " Just remember the Bibical passage that says, "Don't let the sun set in a provoked state." As for the sadness, you need to find an easy rewarding hobby. Or do something as simple as find a nearby place that is beautiful, beach, mountains, and walk with a Walkman tape player and some matching music. Mentally, tell yourself that if you are sad for other people it is because you are a good and caring person. Then think of someone you can do can do a nice deed for that day or week. Empathy is a good quality as long as you make it productive and not let it depress you. Also, find out truthful answers as to why we are here and the hope for the future. You'll be okay soon, believe it and it can happen.
Victoria





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Hi everybody thanks for posting. It's nice to know that people care.

I hadn't responded because I just didn't feel like it. My anger manifested itself into depression. I just couldn't get a grip and didnt' know what was happening to me. I'm so much better as an anxious person. I think I figured it out though. I wasn't aware that I was getting ready to start. I found a post in I think step one that I responded to. Today I feel like a whole different person. I'm still afraid of how I felt and how I treated others. I don't like to be that way and have never thought of PMS as an excuse to be mean. I have never felt that way before. Sure a little emotional. (More that usual) but not that low.

My husband tolerated it well. My family was scared to death. I could not stop crying. If I wasn't mad I was devestated. I wonder why this last month was so bad. I can't pinpoint anything happening that would explain it. I just want to do everything I can to prevent it from happening again.

Thank you again for responding. If anyone has any advise on what happened I'd be glad to hear it.

Vic

Hi Vic,
This is backcomb. I don't know how long you have been suffering with anxiety, but I know since all my stuff started when I was 34. I had PMS so bad it was awful, it wasn't until I went on hormones that I started feeling a whole whole lot better. Iam now 52 and I have been on hormones all this time. I used to feel terrible about 3 weeks out of each month. I remember crying wishing someone would help me cus I was so anxiuos all the time. I wasn't really angry I don,t think just felt like crap. Do you take any hormones? How old are you?
It sounds like what you are going through is like being on a emotional yo yo. I don't know if your doing it but try to do the relaxtion tapes, and be sure and watch how much sugar you eat and salt too! That plays a big part in anxiety and depression. I went to a chemical specialist for a 1 year and a half, and also to a nutritionist, so I know the benefits of good eating. It can really help change the way you feel!
The tape 6 is really a good tape, I didn't realize how much I let people bother me about little petty things that are insignificant. I also could see how I have at times used anger to control, like Lucinda said because of fear I suppose. One thing about this tape it really makes you look at yourself. My husband and I own our own Hairstyling Salon, and we have 6 employees. Sometimes I expect them so to see all the things I see. I also expect people to see my needs. I need to know I am the one who is supposed to do that. Oh well I wanted to respond to you. I hope you are having a good day today, Wednesday Bye for now, Backcomb

Hi backcomb,

I'm sorry it took me awhile to respond. I have been out of town. My friend suggested the hormone theory to me too. I am 33. I do notice that the older I get the worse I feel around my period. I guess that I will have to talk to my doctor about this. I have also been trying to decide whether or not to have a baby. There are a lot of factors in my decision. I love children and I love my husband but I am so afraid of change. I think this plays a huge part in my emotions.

It is also hard to feel so different from one day to the next. I never know. I don't like the anger part at all. If I could step back and see myself I'm sure I would be scared.

I try to watch my diet. I lost 30 pounds recently and was feeling great until this whole mess came along.

My husband and I are self-employed as well. It's only the two of us though. I know what you mean about the needs part though and expecting people to see things as I do. I wonder why I do that. I don't think I'm a selfish person. But when people,such as my husband tell me they see that trait in me I feel stupid. Does this make sense? I get mad when people don't return calls or are impolite among other things. I take things very personally which is not good in business. I'm trying to change but it's hard.

Thank you so much for responding. It really does make me feel better to know that there are others out there to help me when I need it. I hope you have a good day.

Vic

Hi Dena,

Thank you for responding.

I get my feelings hurt all of the time. Too much for sure. For instance if someone isn't polite or if they are mean in traffic I get really offended. Or when someone butts in front of me in line. Just trivial stuff I know but I take it so personally.

People can see right through me and I get a lot of flack for being this way. I know that everybody has reasons for being like they are. It has nothing to do with me yet I always worry that it does.

I am currently on Buspar. It has really helped the anxiety. I still have somewhat of an edge but I'm not sure where the depression and anger came from. I don't have them all the time or even a lot but when I do- Look out-

I will keep the calcium in mind. It couldn't hurt.

Thanks again for replying. It really helps me. I hope that you have a good day.

Vic

Hi Vic,
I was on buspar about 6 months ago, I had to get off of it. I would wake up in the middle of the night and my hands were numb. Since i've been off of it, i think i've been doing better.
Lesson 4 was also hard for me. I had anxiety all day every day, spacy feelings and depressed. When i started lesson 5, I started feeling better. Remember to take time out for yourself, slow down, and be calm and try not to take everything so personal.
My husband likes to watch scary movies and the health channel where they do surgeries, I cannot watch that, so i walk out the room and go do something else, usually i go listen to my relaxation tape.
I hope this helps you out, and hope you are feeling better soon.

Hi cockylady1,

Thanks for the reply. I haven't had any of the numbness or anything like that. I just always seem to be in fear. It's so hard sometimes.

Do you or anybody have any advise on how not to take things so personally? I am trying so hard but it's not working. I am also trying to look inside myself so I can figure out why I am like I am. I am so emotional.
For instance. Today I was eating lunch at a restaurant with my husband. There was a lady sitting at the next table. I often eat by myself so I didn't think anything of it. This all changed when they brought her a birthday cake. I was so sad for her that she was eating lunch by herself on her birthday. I almost cried. I wanted to wish her a happy birthday or say something but I didn't want to upset her or embarras her. Then I felt like a dummy for the whole thing. She didn't seem upset but I just felt bad. I guess this doesn't have anything to do with taking things personally, I just wonder if my emotions play a part in it.

Thanks again for responding and the advice. If you or anyone else has anything add that would be great.

Take care,
Vic

Hi Vic,

I can relate. I too would have felt bad for the lady in the restaurant that she was having a birthday meal with a cake all alone But--maybe she wanted to do that. Maybe she has an anxiety disorder too and she was practicing her limitations and eating alone on her birthday was the best gift she could have given to herself...??? Just tossing ideas around here What I am trying to say is, we are very sensitive people. That is a good quality to have...we just need to learn how to redirect it and not let it get to us.

I was on Buspar years ago for my anxiety...I had to quit taking it as the side effects were horrible for me. I would wake up in the middle of the night out of a deep sleep for no reason and my head was numb and tingly...hard to describe that sensation...and it made me angry and increased my anxiety...I threw it down the toilet! Maybe your reaction was a one time thing as your body was adjusting to the Buspar? Have you felt as angry since that day? How long were you on Buspar before that happened?

I hope you are feeling better

~Angel

Hi Angel, thanks for responding.

No I haven't been that angry since then. Each day I feel different. Some days I am anxious, some days sad,some mad. I never know when I wake up how I will feel. That really messes with me too.

I have read that a lot of people have had problems with this Buspar. I guess I have to weigh the pros and cons. The xanax worked better for me with my last episode. But I didn't like the way I felt on it. I also didn't like that it was addictive. This Buspar has gotten rid of my attacks. I still have an edge though. It hasn't gotten rid of my constant fear. I am working on that myself but at times not getting very far. I think I will go see my doctor and see what he has to say.

Speaking of that. I left a message to you in a post to Dutchy on the oprah show thread. If you want to respond here or there it's fine. I just wondered how you handled that. I haven't really been able to talk with anyone in that same situation so it would be interesting to listen to your story.

Thank again for posting. Hope to talk to you soon.

Vic

Hi Vic! I can definitely relate to you. I was on Buspar for 5 months although it seemed to help me a little bit I still did not feel as though this was the right med for me, I was still getting strong anxiety. I went to the dr and he then gave me Paxil first 10mg,20mg,40mg I am doing much better now although I am angry alot of the time and have no patience for my 6 year old, I also take Xanax when I feel the need to which help a great deal at calming me. I think that a little talking with the doctor might help you alot I wish you great success