Hi Everyone,

I have an employee, and believe me, I would sometimes love to fire him, but for a very critical reason, I cannot... I need him

He definitely has a major issue with ANGER

It's pretty ironic, because I used have the same issues (before starting the program)...

For example, he gets these crazy spells while working. He gets frustrated and starts doing a half-ass job, gets very very snippy, but at the same time very embarassed and almost like a ticking time-bomb when you confront him.

He has hurt my business on one hand, and also helped it tremendously on the other hand. Like I said, it's not a situation where he can be replaced (that's a whole other topic).

He's very young, and very sensitive. He shows his anger by hurting us, but I don't know how to appropriately confront him and get him to STOP. I was considering giving him my program (or buying him one), but I feel that this program is not appropriate for those people who don't recognize their problem or want to change. This program can only work for those who truly want to change - and I'm not sure that's him. I think he does suffer with panic attacks, and he gets very neurotic.

Any tips????

As an HR Professional, you are facing a hostile work environment. This can result in very dangerous and legal complications. You need to document his performance and keep track of what is occuring. He needs progressive discipline! a verbal warning, written warning, and final written warning. Regardless of his emotional condition, he needs to learn to seperate emotions from performance expectations. This sounds harsh but you are not in a win-win relationship.

steven is correct, bad part about this one is you know, you've acknowledged there is an issue, each time you document the details required to dismiss this guy, you reinforce the fact you know he has anger issues. Steven may know more about this than I, but depending on the severity of any one outburst, or the progressive nature of these outbursts, you may be able to administer what is call "ability to work evaluation", I think..or close to that..may be fitness for duty...you get the idea, of course there are regs.but it may help you get him out before you get to the dangerous stuff steven mentioned. also if there is any, i mean anything about a threat of violence or damage to your property, you document this with a witness and he's gone, right then and there. Its a tuff spot...you have to do this right, just like steven explained, and protect yourself, while providing a safe work environment for your other employees.... good luck!!

Steven and EPA,

I appreciate your responses. The only thing is I can't fire him (not because of violence or a lawsuit). We need him to help keep the business going.

It seems like he just gets really mad and will try to "show us" if we try to guide him and tell him a problem that's going on. I will keep notes as for these outbursts and document how he takes out his anger.

It's not like he screams when he gets mad, I almost feel like he's a child trying to get even. He takes things very black-and-white, so to speak. When we tell him about something that needs to be done, instead of doing it appropriately, he will try to "show us" by taking whatever we say to the extreme. So if we tell him we need something done asap, he will work so fast that he will screw it up (it seems like he does it on purpose, just to get it done), just to show us a point.

Another example, last night he was trying to take out some trash, and we told him to do something else, and he started arguing. When we were firm what we wanted done, he dropped the garbage and did what we said, but in a very pissed off/non-chalant attitude. He seemed to not take either the tone of our voice very well, or the fact that we told him what to do, and he turned red out of embarassment.

I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer but, what is this guy giving you for the price of admission?? Can you train another to perfrom his duties? Just curious, because there is a world of people wanting to work that would be respectful and thankful for the job!!! Just being nosey.

epaoshoguy -
I am going to steal your quote excellent.

i agree that passing the program along to him would be wasteful. he has to want it himself.
replacing him may be the best gift you can give him.

please be careful. and consider your needs; even if you empathize with his situation.

Shiksa---This is always a tough spot but as long as you let it go on, the worse it will get. Think of it this way--he knows
you're afraid to let him go and this only makes him worse. I assume you are a woman from you're name and let's face it, with a guy like that, he has a need to beat up on someone and sometimes, a woman is targeted as she may seem more vulnerable. I have worked with guys like this and sometimes, it may be beyond your reach to help him but, after docunmenting this(which as an ex-case manager in human services I heartily agree with), I might approach him now out of concern for him. He may not be aware of how bad he is in terms of his attitudes toward work and others and that this will eventually do him more harm than your the problems he is causing you and your company. As far as him not being expendable, look to the future and realize that if he stays on this track, when he has done much more damage to the your morale, your operations and the morale to your employees, he will HAVE to go, one way or another anyway. Before talking with him, have as many resources as possible lined up for yourself in order to take advantage of a window that could open at any moment.
I hope you can help him (and you) move out of this situation soon. Don't be afraid to take the reigns but enlist the help of trusted and experienced mentor-types around you to help guide you through this process. I wish you well.

I know how difficult it is to fire someone here in Agricltuer, when we fire some one we take his house, and food from his table. We have never had to fire them they usualy quit. My husband is good at telling them what to do, if they do not like doing it his way, "they should go back to there house and look for another job. usualy they do it his way, or they find another job in a few months. We do not play any games, particularly with the angry types that we have had working for us. They are dangerous, and it is important that they believe they made the decission to find another job. So when he tells them theis is how I want it done and they do a half-ass job my husband tells them to go to their house and look for another job, and he will fix the mess. either they come back complyent or they find another job. He has had to do that 3 times so far 2 of them found another job, includding our then son-in-law, now our x. our daughter finally got tired of living with a time bome. and 1 on them came back to work the next morning ready to work and learn to do it our way, We alsays tell our perspective employees, we follow the 2 golden rooles, one of withc is "He who has the gold makes the rule" that has helped us many times, because if they are so smart they would not be working for us, they would be working their own ranch.

Personally I have found, the formula for gaining respect to work for me.
first ask "do you have a little time" you want to be sure he is listening
next "When You.... whatever it was, and keep it current no attacking him for prior problems.
next "I feel ... however it made you feel upset, or dissapointed etc.
next "Because... tell him why it is important for him to do what you tell him to propperly.
next " There for.... put down the rules for staying an employee in your business. But you must not say There fore if You do not follow through with the formula, do not make empty threats, or demands, If you do not intend to dock his pay or fire him, what ever do not say it just stop at the Because, I do not do the firing at our ranch, so I do not say any there fors, I stop with Because. we usualy stay frinds but the do act with more respect in the futures. Good Luck
8^) Cheri