I have been through Lucinda's program and really have gotten so much out of it. Boy did I blow it last week when a co-worker made me so angry I just blew up at her and to top it off she went crying to our boss and I got chewed out for picking on her. I was so upset I couldn't sleep all night long. The next morning I thought boy do I need to review the tape on anger and when I did I realized I really handled the whole situtions very wrong and needed to apologize to the co-worker and felt so much better afterwards. Any helpful hints would be appreciated for handling this kind of anger.
Thanks

Bthor
What can I add? You did beautifully. You went with your first response - anger. But then you realized the consequences (hurt a coworker, sleepless night, got chewed out...)
so you re-evaluated your behavior, listened to tape #6 for more information, apologized to the co-worker and made a mental note to yourself to STOP and THINK before you react to your anger next time.
Congrats on a successful run.

You should be proud of yourself for handling it like you did. Ok, so blowing up wasn't exactly the best thing (here's where you work on self-forgiveness, compassion, and not beating up on yourself). But you did great like Bakedpears said. You will remember this the next time you feel it coming and I bet you take a deep breath and a step back and you will be calmer next time. Apologizing was a very mature thing for you to do and not the easiest thing. So, congrats on making amends!!!! Reena

Count to ten, mentally, before you ever react. After those ten seconds, decide whether your reaction will help or hurt the situation. Maybe you need to get a point across, but there ae many non-aggresive ways to do this.

My mother is always telling me how to do things "right". I used to get very defensive and say sarcastic things. Now I say, "Thank you for pointing out a way to do that, but I think i will do it like this..."

I always use the "resolve or dissolve" method with my anger too. I have come to see times when I am keeping an arguement alive, merely to be right. I don't have to be "right" anymore. If the anguement is trivial and there is a difference of opinion...time to dissolve!!

HI bthor,
it sounds like you did good by apologizing, part of making mistakes is picking up the pieces or dealing with the aftermath. I agree with everyone else though, you should definately try to let it go, its over with, and there's not much else you can do, so only worrying about it is gonna make you feel bad, not really motivate you to change

Mike