i know it seems silly, but i have had a very hurtful relationship with my brother, and its like, every time we talk, i can't help but feel hurt, used, and abused. One time, we only had a 15 minute conversation, and i carried around hurt and resentment towards him for DAYS.

I am sorry you have a hard relationship with your brother. Would the tape on assertive behavior be helpful? Sometimes not sticking up for ourselves is what is really at the core. Reena

Reena, I think you have it right on there. Looking back to a similar situation in my life what was said to me was hurtful but what really angered me was the fact that I took it and didn't "say" the immediate response that came to mind . I learned a heap from that episode and know with certainty that it would never happen again because I never want to experience the anguish my silence caused me.

quote:

Originally posted by mgoldberg:
I can't help but feel...

Hi mgoldberg,

The whole message of the Program is that you CAN help choose what you feel! Through the practice of modified behaviors, assertiveness, positive thoughts and mind-set, etc...

My own successes with the Program came directly from my own willingness to take responsibility. The Program became more effective for me the more I experienced how it is not a �cure� that is taken; it is a �cure� that is achieved through practice. I�d never have remained freer of anxiety-panic-depression without continuing the practice of behaviors I modified through what the Program introduces.

�Practice� simply means applying, doing, and living out the new skills introduced in the Program. Judging any of this for perfection is self-defeating because there is no perfection to any of this: There never was, and there never will be. I found I grew as much from dropping the ball in this practice as I did from picking it up and running with it. There aren�t many things in life I�d guarantee, but I do guarantee you will drop the ball countless times, and those are the times when you will grow the most in all of this. Amazing things happen with this practice! It happened with me, and it WILL happen with you when it happens as long as you continue putting these behaviors into practice!

One key point from lesson fifteen in the workbook states: �This is where true recovery lies. Learning to be compassionate with your self. Learning to give yourself permission to feel anxious sometimes and not let it scare you.� Especially during times like you�ve described here, I found the most empowering gift I may give my self is letting in my own compassion, love, patience and acceptance for my self no matter where I may find my self in the journey.

Give your self the gift of letting in your own compassion, love, patience and acceptance for your self no matter where you may find your self in the journey.

~ Dolphin

[This message has been edited by Dolphin (edited 01-07-2002).]