Luncinda describes her encounter with her ex-husband. And how she went back and met with him to tell him that she forgave herself for all things she wish she didn't do, and she forgave him for the way he treated her sometimes.
And she made an important point about how it was intended to be a healthy, healing gesture, not for him, but for her.

I met with someone who used to be my friend in March 2005. (We had a falling out the previous October 2004.)
I saught to forgive him and ask him to forgive me.

He rejected me.

THE SITUATION:
I started dating this girl back in August 2004, spending less time with my "friend". for those 2 months I was falling in love with this new girl, so my head wasn't anywhere near all my other friends.
When I hung out with this friend again, I just started to see all his negotive behavior. Flakiness, selfishness, disrespect for others, self indulgence. I couldn't stand to be around him. But I didn't know how to tell him that I really don't prefer his company, because he would get very defensive.
So I wrote a letter to him and the theatre company we were working with.
I said, "I'm leaving the group for my own personal reasons, and because I feel like I'm not getting anything out of the group, at this point in my life."
My "Friend" was very angry at this letter.

It lead to an angry moment out on the sidewalk after a rehearsal.

I basically said that I felt overwhelmed with my anxiety and my new girlfriend. And I was too scared to admit that I didn't feel the same in my friendship. (I also felt he and this other friend of ours were becoming closer - without me-. and that hurt.) So i was feeling so much and I was saying, "I just don't feel the same, I need to be alone."
and he just said, "Fine. bye."
I was willing to talk it out but he was clearly so hurt. I made attempts at talking to him again, but he refused.

Then, IN MY ANGER and MISTAKE, I vented to a mutual friend about him. I said, "I don't want to play video games and smoke pot like him."

so that March when I met him for lunch in an effort to make peace between us.....

He said, "You took me down. I don't trust you and I don't like you."

I felt so mad. BUT I PUSHED IT ALL INWARD AND I'VE BEEN SEVEARLY DEPRESSED EVER SINCE.

I hate this, it makes me SO ANGRY becasue I really don't like his character, but I want to get him to forgive me so bad.

I didn't do things perfect. But he is so selfish, and childish.....

I know this is for the best. I just wish I could stop obsessing and dwelling on this broken friendship.

Help

PLEASE READ THE DETAILED LETTER I am Intending to send to a friend I had a bitter falling out with.

My intent with the letter is to get things off my chest, clear the air, and vent things I WANTED to tell him when the situation was happening

My FEARS: He was LASH BACK AT ME, he will try to MANIPULATE ME further, He will try to make me feel guilt and shame.

Attached is the letter