Just like the above statement says, how is this possible? This depression/anxiety consumes so much of my time, energy and thoughts, that all I can do is feel frustrated, devastated and outright angry. I start thinking about the hurful past and the all the wrong my family and suppose friends have done me and how my present situation seems to be going nowhere and all I do is find myself being greatly upset and thinking evil, angered thoughts. I know I need not to allow these thoughts to creep up, but no matter what I do, it comes back and I get angered. This really bothers me. I wish I could let go and give my life over to God, but than I start thinking that he, too, is letting me down and not too concerned for my well-being. The bottom line is, I am tired and feel on the verge of giving up, giving in to my thoughts, and ending it all. Thanks for allowing me to express my thoughts.

{{{{{Girlie}}}}}

I believe that anger is a cover up for hurt. It sounds like you've been hurt a lot. It takes time to learn to deal with the hurt and anger in a more positive way.

What can you do today? How can you soothe the part of you that is hurting so much? A bubblebath, a walk, a good cry, punching pillows? That's a first step.

I'm concerned that you say you feel like giving up. You might want to consider seeing a counselor or pastor. There are many wonderful things waiting for you. Don't give up before you get to the good stuff!
Julie

Thanks for the response Julie. A nice bubble bath or reading a good book sounds about nice now. Got to do something to take my mind off of my problems.

Girlie,
Been right where you are several years ago,it is very hard to forgive when you have been hurt. But remember Forgiveness doesnt mean to allow those people to do it again. But what Forgiveness does is give YOU peace and freedom from the anger and bitterness and resentment you feel. Until that person EARNS your trust again, you dont have to be with them or around them at all. Anger and bitterness only hurts the holder, not the offender. I had to forgive to, and it took awhile, but when i did, i felt a huge weight had been lifted off me. God hears you and knows what your going through, and he is right there with you, all you have to do is ask. God had to help me Forgive my offenders to, no way i could do it alone. I will keep you in my prayers Nelly

You aren't alone, Girlie. Also I liked what the two other people said after your response. Just know in your heart that there IS Hope ... no matter how you feel. Feelings will deceive you. They aren't reliable. I too would recommend talking with a pastor. Make an appointment. Believe me, I too have TOTALLY been where you are, almost exactly. I understand, and I too am in the process of healing, forgiveness, deep-rooted hurts and anger, feeling liek God has let me down, et.... DARE TO BELIEVE, to trust Jesus ! That's what I'm doing. We're in this together.

A very good book that touches on so many helpful insights for anyone with anxiety/depression/anger is titled "Your Best Life Now", by Joel Osteen. I recommend this book wholeheartidly.

God Bless!

Hi Girlie (and everyone who posted here)
I read all the posts and want to put effort into a response. Especially because I am not feeling so 'great' today.
I have been where you are Girlie, and I am thankful for the responses people wrote on your behalf because they reminded me of the healing that takes place, sometimes slowly/sometimes easily. I have dealt with much grief and hurt from past pain re family life. I am single/never married/no children (which doesn't define me) however I am still on the path to find a fulfilling life for myself.
I know that I have had deep healing from my past in many areas of my life, and for that I am thankful. It was very deep and very real grief that passed through my life once there came a place for me to release it, to trust (something) God enough or a Higher Power to absorb the pain.
I am currently going through some pretty lingering anxiety and wish it wasn't like this but I have to trust GOd to bring me through and to keep making choices for 'life' in the process, even when I start to have the very old thoughts that I am not worth it. (the thoughts are 'just thoughts', not real-though they are scarey)
I keep pushing play and keep making choices to believe in me with the help of all the goodness in the world.

Praying for you Girlie,(and all the rest),

My Best,
Kelly

I want to thank you all for your thought-provoking and encouraging comments. It means alot to me. I really do want to keep seeking inner and outer peace of mind, body and spirit and to release this negativity in me. Thanks so much!!!

Kelly,

I am curious about your deep healing experience.
I don't know if you are comfortable going into details or not, but I have always wanted to hear about someone's testimony of The Lord healing them of deep inner emotional wounds. I am believing for mine and walking in all the steps that God shows me to take.

- Rebecca