Hello--It is no secret that I love a good debate on here, and have had several fairly heated ones on here recently. I have no doubt that anger is something I need to work on, but at the same time, I have a really hard time letting it go when I feel I am being attacked for my opinions whether it is on this site, or in the "real" world.

I think it is inherent in people that have anger that you want to get the last word, and do not want to let the "other person" appear to get the best of you. But that seems to be inconsistent with the ideals of humility, forgiveness, and acceptance of everyone. However, knowing this logically and practicing it are two very different things.

Does anyone have any suggestions as to how to detach oneself from a heated exchange without feeling like you are "backing down" or compromising your beliefs? I see so many people on here that are really good at steering clear of these kinds of heated exchanges and simply ceasing their participation in certain threads when they become argumentative, and I'm just wondering as someone who has a hard time doing that what your thoughts are on how to do this without feeling like you let someone get the best of you? Or do you just not even think of it that way? Help!!!

Tara,
I know the thread your referring too and as you know I am the queen of popping off. For myself, I have had to learn restraint. Hard I know! Some people post things (mostly in the spirituality section) that are offenssive and ignorant at times. To want to S~H~A~R~E and uplift is one thing, to make outrageous statements is another. Often times it's NOT a matter of wanting to offer other insights, but more of a YOU ARE SO WRONG and I know it all type of mentality. So, with this said...try and look at those posts that are negative and move along. Know that the person trying to shove their beliefs down your throat and others are very insecure. People who are evolved in their beliefs (be it Christian, catholic or whatever) will only offer words of encouragement with out the need to spread their fear. When you do notice the need to engage in combat, consider your intentions. Being able to walk away with the feeling of "I spoke up for a greater cause" will not leave you feeling as if you backed down. On more of a personal note, I know you to be a very fare person. You stand for whats right, be it race, religion, sex and so forth. Your very passionate about your convictions and for that you feel the need to speak up at times. I think that is a GREAT attribute. May get you in some heated discussions, but who you are and what you stand for is nothing to feel ashamed about. Luv ya!


Christine

Christine--thank you for your response, and of course, luv ya too, girl!

I do take it to heart because I have seen you become able to let things roll off your back and to decrease "popping off" on things that are like arguing with a brick wall. You are absolutely right about looking at your own intentions, that is something I don't always stop and do. I'm so frustrated at what I interpret to be the other person's intentions that I fail to consider my own.

Thanks for the great advice, my friend