Anger has me in its grip. I have been working on anger all of my life. The info that The Center has given us is better than anything I've tried. First let me say that I try to see my responsibility in any situation but there are people that infuriate me because it seems they have nothing better to do than antagonise(?). I had decided to not spend as much time around some people because I can't seem to control my thoughts when I'm around them. Quite honestly I think they are mean! Here is a for instance: I got a call asking about my husband who has been very sick this week. He is better. Auntie called to ask about him and I was answering her, no problems, she interrupts me and makes the comment that she bets that I think she calls too much. I held my anger but then went into rage because I don't have a problem with her calling. I felt accused and felt she was trying to make me feel guilty. For what? I don't know. Another for instance is that my mother told my sister-in-law that she hadn't heard from me in a while. That is not true! I left 2 messages for her to call me back. Again--I feel accused. And for some of you who have seen my name before you may rememeber that I have been accused of something I did not do, by my pastor. Instead of coming to me directly he chose to tell a group of his friends who are now treating me the same way he is. Why didn't he come to me directly? Please understand--I am asking myself what I am doing to get attacked. I AM ASKING MYSELF. Can anyone help with this one? How do I handle people who constantly try to irritate and start trouble? I don't want trouble but it seems to follow me. And what do these people want from me. Don't say love because I frequently send cards, phone them, send flowers etc. I feel that all of them are trying to control me/manipulate me. All of these people have charming personalities but seem fake to me. I see that they always get what they want. Apparently I don't do what they want me to do. Please set me free from this guilt and the feeling of being controlled. It makes me want to control them. Help "Guys!"

Mary Kay,
Went to mass that always helps out. Didn't see that you have emailed me yet. Hope your doing good stay positive. God Bless You. One moment at a time. We'll be just fine.

hey MaryKay, Breathe, step one, is always breathe, When the Rage starts to build in me, I step aside and practice shadow boxing, preferably in the other room I sometimes need to get it out, my favorite is the tantrum box, where I verbalize what is ticking me off as I speed bag hit it, or the full out round house.
Your adrenoline is building due to the conversations or the fear that it brings up in you, fear of being accused or fear of feeling guilty- or that someone things you should feel guilty.
once you work out some of the adrenoline, you may be able to look deeper into what is up. Are these people Realy out to get you or is it your brilliantly creative mind working overtime to scare you? You could be right that people are trying to make you feel guilty and that stinks, but it is up to you to feel it or not. To feel guilty is a choice, It is a habit, You can catch yourself and say hey I don't need to feel bad here, I didn't do anything wrong. Use it as as a mantra, repeat it over and over again.
the assertive tape is great, as to how the heck we can say the things we need to to stand up for ourselves with out ripping their faces off.
I understand that you may be extra sensative to being accussed if it has happened to you in a big way, but maybe, just maybe everyone else doesn't really mean to affect you as sensativly as you are taking it.
Practice giving yourself a break, and not taking things so personaly, learn to laugh and to LOVE YOU, the more you do, the more you can know inside that you are alright, and that the two faced folks won't have as great an affect on you. And Breathe, they can be very persistant, but you don't have to feel bad, it is just a habit that sosiety leads us into, you can change your mind and your mind set. You can stand up for you with out yelling or fighting, cause that just adds to the guilt in the end anyway. standing up for you in Peace, strength and security is a wonderful thing to learn to do, and You deserve it. No matter what past may have to say about it, live for today, breathe and swing stress away, You can do it and you can feel calm and cool too. Practice, and in the process, if you need to scream, scream into a pillow, so you won't scare the neibors and again won't have to feel guilty after snapping. You can do it breathe in to Peace and let the adrenoline go safely. Best of Luck to you, May You know Peace.

Marykay,
Stop allowing these people to make you feel guilty or angry. You actually do have a choice here. Anger is an emotion that can be good, but if you carry it for to long, its miserable.
Chose NOT to allow people make you feel this way. And stick to it!! Try to let things go, and just know you will be better off not letting it get to you... Take care Nelly

marykaylady,
I am just getting to this point in my program. An angry reaction is typical of me also. Even if it's justified, I wish that I could pull out some dry condesending wit to dish back, instead of housing the anger in my body.

I hope you check back in on your post and bring us upto date on how this anger reaction is for you now.

I really think sessions 6,7,8 are well grouped. 5,6,7,8, who do I appreciate? Lucinda, Lucinda! src