so, i've been listening to these dvds and reading the guidebook on how to control anger. it says to think before acting. the problem is that these things just happen and its over and done with before i even knew it began. the next thing i know, whatever was in my hand is now shattered into a million pieces on the kitchen floor. if i knew how to think rationally while angry i wouldn't have turned to this program for help. can anyone relate or shed some light on this situation?

you have to teach yourself to think before you react.. your so used to just reacting that you dont think about it, if you can teach yourself , then after a while it may become more natural. count to ten, leave the room, deffinently put down whatever your holding, yell into a pillow maybe...but you have to try and catch it when you know something is going to happen

Hi,

I dont think that with that one tool anger is supposed to stop- It is a matter of practise.. use the tools but dont beat yourself up- small steps to big miles.. have patience and understanding and the little steps in the right direction add up! The fact you understand this and are working towards your goal is great! keep that up!

Best Wishes..

Little Italian. It sounds like you need to talk to a therapist to find out why you are so angry and violent. The program helps with anger but violence is a step beyond anger. It sounds like you "blacks out" when you get angry and you need to find out why. Are you drinking or doing drugs when you're throwing things? You said the violence happens before you even knew it, that's something you need to get real help for.

Take care.DeeDee.

I used to be the same way before the program...and everyone else is right, it just takes practice. Even now, I have to review that lesson every now and then. Once I feel those angry feelings coming I tell myself to stop and step back. More times than not whatever is happening is not worth getting angry at in the first place.

Hey Italian, I understand exactly what you are going through, I used to do the same exact thing, you name it I broke it, or threw it. I just at the time did not care, it was like whatever I was throwing or breaking was a release to me. You do need to get to the bottom of what is causing the anger for sure. Journaling helped me alot with that..if I was angry about something I would journal about it, it was a great release. But you do have to get to a point like Holly said to think before you react. After I would have what I call one of my fits I would stop and think to myself...now what purpose did that serve? What did I accomplish out of that? Before you know it you will train yourself to realize that it's just instant gratification...but really with no positive results. TC Karen

I have a problem with anger too, except I call people names, even my kids. I hate myself for doing it, and I'm having a difficult time stepping back and not reacting in the moment. I'm glad I read this because someones post said to journalize, which I have gotten lazy with. I'm going to start again and hopefully stop this petty, defeating behavior.

when the final answer is in on this, I need to know. I have had issues with it for years, but I do not throw things. I just get hurt, and curl up inside to try to figure out what happened, and how to handle it. Problem is, I don't, and I turn the anger on myself-=-not any cutting or stuff like that. I jsut make myself miserable. I have been accured often of reading too many self help books, but I have teen looking ro the way to a better life for a long time now. My Mother became so consumed wiht hurt and anger that shh had no identity but her suffering. I am trying not to go that way.