I scored very low on the anger test. Those things do not make me angry. I know exactly where my anger comes from. It comes from frustration. Frustration with my marriage and home life. I have a husband who is a good provider. I don't suspect him of cheating, and he doesn't hit me or yell at me. But he is very rarely in the mood to talk to me or spend time with me. He likes to come home and putz around in the gararge or in the yard, and then watch TV. He has to be at work very early, and goes to bed very late. He doesn't get involved much with me or the kids unless we ask him. We have gone to marriage counseling. He doesn't do what the counselors suggest. I've bought books. He won't read them. I've talked to him and pured my heart out many times. I've stayed in this for 14 years. I often cry myself to sleep. I don't feel loved, although he has his moments. He will have a burst of affection or romance maybe once a year. I feel empty. I get physically sick. I need a partner in raising our children. He is a friend to them. He is a playmate to them. He is NOT a teacher or a guide the way a father should be. I also need a companion. I need a friend. I don't believe in divorce mainly because I have seen what happens to the children. Mine are crazy about their dad. He says he loves me and could not live without me. I hear the words but I don't see it or feel it. My anger comes from frustration over this whole situation with my marriage. Can anyone relate to a marriage like mine?

Hey Sadie,

I can totally relate to you. I am stuck in a marriage of 12 years only bcas of financial stability. There is nothing else in my marriage except for a lot of abuse. I am too afraid to get out and take care of myself. It's frustrating & causing a lot of anger, anxiety, depression.

My thoughts somewhat follow yours in that my husband has different interests then I do. It's hard when we get married and expect that we will do things togeather, and support each other in all situations. The problem is that, both people in a marriage have to then be interested, and enthusiastic about the same things. My husband's interest vary hugely from my own. What I have realized is that I do love my husband, so, I am happy when he is happy with what he is doing. If I'm not content with what I'm doing, then it is up to me to change things so I can also be happy. If your discontent with the way things are, then you need to take the time to figure out what is really going to make you happy. Your husband can't help you with this. You are the only one who truly knows what will make you happy. In the mean time, if your husband is happy with what he is doing, then be greatful.
Sander

Thank you for answering me, Friend. I am sorry you feel a lot like I do. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. People don't realize how painful it is to be ignored and neglected emotionally. I am so sorry to hear about what you are going through.

Sander, Thanks for sharing your story with me. In my case, it is not about different interests. It is about different values. It is about being "interested" in family.

Do you feel lonely even when you are with your husband? Because he is not really there even when he is there. That is where my sadness comes from.