I didn't do so well with my anger tonight. I've tried to keep it under control but tonight I totally lost it. Along with my entire head, literally. I went out with some friends and had some drinks. I had about five or six beers. I wasn't drunk but I had a strong buzz. We decided to get some pizza and we passed a truck full of guys. They must have felt threatened because they followed us to the pizza shop. I totally lost my head. I started to call the truck of guys names once we got to pizza store and they all got out and fought me.

I've been in fights before and no matter how it turns out I end up getting so upset I don't know what to do. I'm upset this time though but it's not like normal. I know I have a problem with anger but I thought recently I had it under control. Or at least somewhat. Maybe it was the booze or maybe I've just been suppressing my feelings and not dealing with them. Whatever it was I totally blew it tonight. I embarrassed my friends and we didn't end up getting our pizza. I felt bad mainly because I ruined my friends evening. I don't understand why I feel the need to hurt someone else and possible hurt myself.

Anger has always been a problem for me as long as I can remember. Anger has been my safe place. Whenever I felt the most scared I could always get angry and it all went away. For years I saw anger as strength. I just don't understand why I behave this way.

Next time you go out w/your friends, pass on the beer. Beer and anger go together. It's a start.

emptyblessing,
I can sympathize with you and am sorry for your hard lesson. Wouldn't you feel extra silly if those other people were just heading to the pizza joint themselves?

I had 3 caffinated drinks before work today, even knowing better, I just went ahaed and had them. Soon after I sent a scalding email to on of my coworkers and in justifying it ended up screamming at an innocent who dared question my action. After a time out (with a cigerette, more chemical mind) I ate my whole slice of humble pie and apologized all around, hope that works. I just know there is more coffee in my future too, so look out world!

"insanity is doing what you've always done and expecting it to turn out differently" That's why I'm here, I'm obviously insane. src