I didn't realize til I got to this point how angry I really am! I think a lot has to do with my past-alcoholic dad, Mom who let him control her, and complained to me all the time. And other things---.
I am not sure yet how I will handle this situation, but I know it will take more than the week--maybe more than a month! I think I am angry a HUGE portion of time! Is anyone else having this problem? I am working also on "The Anger Workbook" from Minrith/Meier, and I think it is helping, but a week is definitely NOT long enough.

kwren,

Are you my anxiety twin or what??...lol WOW do i know what your going through. Right down to the alcoholic father that tries to control my mother all the time and make her do everything. Then she comes down here and complains to me and its like "AAAAAH!!!". Talk about anger. I dont know about you, but for me, lately (i still live at home due to my agoraphobia) i just wanna strangle my dad i've been so angry.

Dont worry about how long its going to take. Its great that you realized that it will take time. Just go at your own pace, learn what you can, practice all the skills you learn from the program and keep reading up on the subject. Eventually we'll both get to a point where we can say "hey, i dont care, it doesnt affect me, its not my problem". Good luck to you! Take care!

Doyle

Thanks,Doyle,
I know there are probably many out there in similar circumstances. I can't strangle my dad, he died 1 1/2 years ago, and I loved him--in spite of it all, but my mom drives me crazy, because she can't let it rest, even now. I have done some more reading (love those books) and was amazed to discover that my anger is a wall to protect me from pain! I never thought of anger in that light before, have you? I really have to "let go, and let God", but it is hard- I know He has the answers I need. How are you coming? It is good to talk about it, isn't it?
Hang in there! I don't know about you, but mom's attitude was Part of the reason I was so mad at dad when I was growing up--she pushed me into seeing him as a total ogre--he really had many good qualities,but she ignores them. No alcoholic is much fun to have around!
Later.
Karen

kwren,

Oh gosh, open mouth, insert foot! I'm so sorry, i had no idea that your dad had passed away.

I know a little bit about anger & pain being related. I think with the way my childhood was, LOTS of pain, is another one of the reasons i'm so angry now. However i really havent done too much reading up on just anger, which i really should do, so if ya know of any good books about it, please let me know .

I've been coming along alright. Had one of those days with my dad. Eeck, just sorta starts to get to me once in a while. It does feel good to talk about it on the forum. I swear, i dont know where i would be without this place. I totally thought i would have to deal with this alone for the rest of my life at one point.

I think at this point i myself am seeing my dad as a total ogre. It REALLY doesnt help that my mother comes to me and complains about him all the time though..lol. My dad got caught cheating on my mother and its been one heck of ride ever since. Sorta feels like any bit of trust i ever had in him is gone at this point. I'm sure eventually , over time and probably lots of therapy..lol i will learn to trust him again and lose some of the anger i feel towards him.

Well hon, best of luck to you on working with your anger. As i said before, i'm sure it will definately take longer than a week or even a year to work through it and really learn to let go, but i know you'll be able to do it. You sound like your really educating yourself on the subject and that is great! you can never read too much . Have a great night and Take care!

Doyle

Hi, Doyle,
Sorry I haven't gotten back to you--I am an A1 procrastinator. I wasn't sure what to tell you about the books. I found portions in a book by Larry Crabb, " Inside Out". I do recommend "The Anger Workbook", tho. I have been working my way thru it. Haven't gotten too far, because I read, put something down, then really think about it, and put something else down. Sure makes you think about things.
Sorry about your Dad's unfaithfulness. I can see where you would have a difficult time trusting him.
I got angry with my mom because she didn't DO anything about the situation--just complain. There are options, you know.--Leaving is one of them. Standing up for yourself is another. My cousin came home and found her husband in bed with another woman, and threw out the bed! Wouldn't sleep in it again. Everyone handles things in their own way. Guess personally I'd have wanted both of them in it when I threw it out!
I can see where this is probably a big problem for you. I hope you can work thru your anger--do something about it (not violence, hopefully). Have you considered an Al-anon program? I think a book on co-dependency might help you and your mom. I'm even thinking about getting one myself.
My favorite site to get books that help me is:
www.christianbook.com
They have a huge assortment of books, just type in your category.
How is your agoraphobia coming? I had kinda gotten to the point where I was staying in one room. Now I am doing a lot of things. I think it is the meds tho. I was really sick for awhile from them. Taking the Xanax, and Celexa also. So we cut back half, and am doing better, but a bit anxious tonight. Maybe I cut back too far, spose?
I am on a very low dose,anyway.
I will try to be better about writing. Are we going into a different category now? I am still working on anger, of course, but I did watch the tape on Assertiveness, too. It seems to kind of go together.
Later,
Karen