I am constantly angry with myself and others and I dont know why. I have no patience for my child at all and my husband told me he liked me better when I wasnt on meds. Sometimes I feel out of control and have to lock myself in my room to cool down. I very rarely call any of my friends and they get very angry with me I guess because they dont understand. I feel as though I am losing myself as well as others around me and everything is spiraling downward. I wish you all great success

I know just what you mean! I seem to have less and less patience with my wonderful son, and I want to change that so much! It's just so hard to have any time for myself, any uninterrupted time, and that makes me very agitated. Perhaps I have to change expectations�expect to be interrupted, for example�or make personal time a priority (carve out a certain time every day) so I can more fully give myself to my child.

I do feel so pent up with anger at myself and at my husband, and at every little thing that happens. This, of course, increases my anxiety tremendously. I try to write down my negative thoughts, but I end up having to replace them with so many positive thoughts to convince myself that I have to write several pages! It's that constant battle between what I know intellectually and what I feel in my gut.

The other day I heard Oprah say that she uses this test on a daily basis: If this were your last day on earth, would [whatever is bothering you] really matter? And I was also thinking about the fact that we are each divine beings, so when my husband hurts me, for example, he can't really harm me because I'm a divine being. Something to think about...we'll see how this thinking works in practice!

I totally relate to what you are saying.My husband gets me so angry sometimes that I would love to put tape over his mouth & stick him someplace that I cant see him either!(only kidding) But he does make me very angry and I seem to take it out on other people like my little one, which I know just isnt right but it seems that everyone always hurts the one closest and for me that sucks. I want so much to be able to be by myself sometimes but that never seems to happen. Either I am running to work or going to pick up at school or cleaning and doing laundry etc etc etc................ that there is no time left in my day so all I do is fall into bed at night and have no energy for any extracarricular activities .one day I hope I hope I will look back on this one day and it will be just a bad memory.I wish you great success

Dear Over worked and Under apprecieated,

Point one: No one can MAKE you angry...you decide if you react or if you walk away. If you Allow those buttons to work or not is up to us.

Point two: No child deserves our left over emotions. REmember how that felt when you were on the receiving end and it will help you to re-route your actions.

Point three: Make time for some personal pleasure. If you renew yourself you will have so much more patience.

Your children will not remember if there were gourmet meals on the table, if the house was so clean they could eat off the floor. They will remember if you took the time to read to them, toss a ball, smile, and hug them.

You are a good and worthy person. Respect yourself at all times.

I believe in you, Carolyn

Thank ypu Carolyn, for your wonderful reply. You are absolutelyright! As I was reading your response I had chills because yes I do remeber getting the blunt end of the stick as to speak when I was A child. Unfortunately I remember all to well being yelled at for no apparent reason all because my parents were in a bad mood or fighting with each other etc,etc...I can only say that I love my daughter with all my heart she is who I live my life for everyday of evry year. There were many times in the past that I had wished I wouldnt wake up in the morning but I thought about her and it brought me some kind of hope for the future. I want my little one to be all that she can be and never give up reaching for the stars. I encourage her every day to believe in her self and in her dreams. Maybe I can take my own advice one day and be all I can be too.

Hi JMC, I know how incredibly frustrating this can be....to not WANT to be angry, to know that it is not the right way, and yet, the anger can be so HUGE that it seems whatever you try just doesn't work. I have come face to face with my own anger, which oftentimes has been more like Rage! In the past, i tried to get rid of it. It never worked. I have felt less like this recently . Just this morning i had a thought: that there are angry feelings that arise in me (like when i'm trying to get something done where i need silence, and there's a racket going on outside my window....silly example, but i can get myself worked up)....these type of angry feelings don't really need 'looking into'..... with this type of angry reaction i am so used to having, i can successfully use the techniques in this program....acknowledge my feelings, it's fine to feel anger, it's a normal human emotion, i'm not going to hate myself for having it! If i try to 'get rid of it', it only gets louder. That's the nature of how things are....if we fight it, it comes back at us. Everything needs to be allowed. So, you kinda grant it permission to be there, like the panic. This reaction of anger has been there most of my life and i'm dealing with an angry kid! Once this part of us gets our permission to be there, it calms down...it's been 'heard'. Do the breathing, and carry on. So, THIS kind of anger is just a real pain to have, it uses up so much of our ENERGY. And then there is anger that is there, which has built up because we might be ignoring something we have to look at. It's trying to get our attention. In THIS CASE, it is not our enemy. So, that's what entered my mind this morning.....to pay attention to what i need to look at and spend time with, and what i need to 'just let go of'. There really is a difference. Not EVERYTHING is meant to be let go of, if it hasn't yet been dealt with!! In this program, it is suggested that we look at what is REALLY bothering us. Perhaps there are areas that need your attention that you don't want to look at. I can certainly say that for myself. You said sometimes you're angry, and you don't know why.You can stop and ask yourself inside...how am i feeling and what do i need? Sometimes, taking care of everyone else all the time and having no time for ourselves, is a situation we have unconsciously created, in order to NOT SEE what we need to about our own needs. I can't recall if you or DTC said " i want to be able to be by myself sometimes" Well, that's a healthy, normal thought! You may have a million reasons why you believe that's not possible. But ask yourself (not asking your head, but asking your heart) "What would happen if i took time for myself?" You might get some insight into why you aren't doing that. If the answer is - because i'm too busy, then that's not really it! You can change that. I have watched my mother live out her life in this way, probably much more extreme than what you are describing.....being a martyr....never taking time for herself.... always everyone else. She feels hard-done-by, holds in her anger, although sometimes it bursts forth, has never made a decision to be true to herself, discover what her own needs are, out of fear. Fear that if she did, it could 'rock the boat' and things might change. Anyway, who asked for such a lengthy reply!!!! Does any of this make sense to you? I hope we all discover ways to create a much more peaceful internal atmosphere to live in. God bless, Linda in Toronto
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Linda

I have been feeling the same way...angry and ready to start a fight at any time....This is more directed towards my mom...that's my closet person. And she really doesn't deserve to be the prunt person...I hate being like that towards her. I really will use some of the suggestions on this post. Thanks everyone!!!

Julie.