I'm new to the forum, and I just submitted a topic under OCD. This is kinda neat; it's like talking to my therapist and helping my OCD (I like to type and do 10-key because they are so repititous). I'm also a little afraid of what people will think as they read this. If you knew me you'd think, "What, Amy afraid? No way, she's too mean to get scared". People see me as so strong--I'm never the one in the group who gets picked on because they know they're starting a war. But I'm tired of being someone I'm not. My boyfriend calls me his babygirl, and I love it. It makes me feel like I can crawl into a little ball and cry if I need to. I don't want to seem strong; it's too hard to keep up the image. I need people more than I ever let anyone know. I'm scared that all this crap in my head will never go away. I read jamie_b97's email and it made me cry.
I want to help everyone so I don't have to need help. I'll always be the one to put my feelings and problems aside so I can listen to you. Is there anyone out there that can relate to this maternal nightmare?

mimi

I can relate to you. One thing you can do is swallow your pride and admit that your feeling down, scared, etc and let someone know about it. You don't have to always appear strong, you're only human. You need your emotional needs met sometimes too. Don't worry about what people think if you do that, chances are they will respect you more because you are showing them your softer side and that you are human.

Tony

Hi Tony,
I couldn't have said it any better. Good advice

Oh, yeah, I can relate.

When I first accepted the fact that I was depressed and shared this bit of fact with closed friends hoping for support, instead, everyone refused to believe I was in distress. I was so angry at that.

I eventully got over it. I realized I was the only one that could get myself out of this hole. Friends' support is warm and fuzzy. But unless they'd been through depression and anxiety, they wouldn't understand.

I am so very grateful to have this forum. Support from you all is essential. Last week I couldn't get on the forum for couple hours. I almost got myself into a panic.

drop

Amy, I can completely understand where you are coming from. Trying to be strong and putting up a bold front 24/7 is what lead to my anxiety, depression and constant thoughts of suicide. At some point in my life, people were always expressing how courageous and strong I was, while the whole time I was dying instead but felt I could'nt let anyone know. I guess I felt that they would feel differently about me if I shared my weaknesses. With all of the faith that people had in me, I felt I had to live up to their image of me, and trying to do so nearly cost me my life.

I remember expressing to a friend once about how I had to do this, and how I had to that and he turned to me and asked "Whoevery told you that you had to do all of these things? Well as it turned out, I had convinced myself that I had to be the epitome of strength. Boy am I glad to get that pressure off of me. Let go of that front and just try to be the person that you know ou are.

quote:

Originally posted by mimi:
I'm new to the forum, and I just submitted a topic under OCD. This is kinda neat; it's like talking to my therapist and helping my OCD (I like to type and do 10-key because they are so repititous). I'm also a little afraid of what people will think as they read this. If you knew me you'd think, "What, Amy afraid? No way, she's too mean to get scared". People see me as so strong--I'm never the one in the group who gets picked on because they know they're starting a war. But I'm tired of being someone I'm not. My boyfriend calls me his babygirl, and I love it. It makes me feel like I can crawl into a little ball and cry if I need to. I don't want to seem strong; it's too hard to keep up the image. I need people more than I ever let anyone know. I'm scared that all this crap in my head will never go away. I read jamie_b97's email and it made me cry.
I want to help everyone so I don't have to need help. I'll always be the one to put my feelings and problems aside so I can listen to you. Is there anyone out there that can relate to this maternal nightmare?

mimi