I have not had a panic attack in about 2 weeks, praise God! I am still so sad and lonely and find myself getting really frustrated with these feelings. Minus the anxiety attacks, I realized this morning that I have only been going through the mechanics of life, numbing myself with medication or staying so closed off in my head that I have no idea who I am, what I like, what makes me tic,,,,,,I feel lonely even when I'm among people. After 16 years of every med one can imagine, I have been med free for four months now. I am definitly feeling and while these new revelations are very painful and scarey it's exciting at the same time, I think. Can anyone relate? pinkee

Wow Pink, no panic attacks, that's great! I think you ststed(in chat) that you were on lesson 3, so please go through them all and dont let up.When you finish program do it again. Dont quit when you feel better, I made that mistake. As for know who or what you are, that is the dep thinking that probably got us into this trouble in the first place. With only a few weeks or even month under your belt, I would expect people to question themselves. Heck we been in anxiety mode for so long, it will take a few months for the OLD to wear off and us to find the real us! Don't second guess everything,(don't obcess over this) matter of fact you should be seeing you accomplishments you have made and be glad about them! The other will come to you in time. I think we also have to learn patience along with the program. Patience with yourself.
You are Doing Great, dont let that slip through your fingers!

Rod

Anxiety attacks were not an issue for me, but depression was tantamount to everything you are describing. If someone told me I was "XYZ negatives" then I thought, I must be "XYZ" and believe me, that kind of thinking is part of the problem. I was lost in a vacuum of lousy feelings. Grief from the loss of both parents got mixed in with all the other depression (which I'd been maintaining for many years ) and I'm not sure which end of the tunnel I was traveling toward. I just knew it was bleak in all directions. I did not have any sudden or huge revelations while working the early sessions here. I do know that I would gradually notice my thinking was different. Negative things that others said, or things I once told myself, were no longer issues. And that's when I knew I'd be okay. The program was working and I was the proof.
Pinkee -- you are going to be okay, too. I just know it. Stay with the program sessions. Progress is happening. By Session 15, you will be so much better.

Thank you guys, I'm going to continue working my sessions and will update soon, pinkee

Pinkee I too feel like I sleep walk thru life. I too have been on meds for many years. I've been so depressed that I have distanced my self from all my friends. sometimes i feel like I'm all alone in the world. Since starting the program I'm starting to see a little hope.I hope this works for us