Good evening, this is my first post on the community, although I've read many posts over the last few weeks, I just started session 3 and man, it's like a cloud thats been lifted from me. I've had stress, anxiety and depression since I've been a young kid and I don't believe there's been more of an eye opening expierence since I started this program. I spent a few months taking prescriptions and they're not for me. I truly believe prescriptions mask the problems, changing your train of thought defeats the problems. Anyway, I started session 3 two days ago and it's difficult. I've documented my negative thoughts on a notebook as suggested and I seriously believe I have carpultunnel syndrom from writing so much, I never thought I was so negative. just to think, I have a long road a head of me, guess I'd better get more notebooks. Eventhough I sound very upbeat about my small progress I did have a set back today and that's what led me to the community. I had a negative spell today in which I ran a unrealistic scenario in my head which snowballed into doubtng my wife and our marrage. It's quite embarrasing but I have worked things out with my wife but in hindsight, I can't believe I let my negative selftalk take me over so fast and let the talk take over my thought process. The one positive I can take from this relapse is I recognized what triggered the thoughts in the first place. After extensive appologizing and explaining my thought process to my better half, I believe I am on the right path. Does anyone else have unrealistic scenarios in which it seems you feed off of the negativity? Thanks for listening.

I'm just starting Session 2 so it's good to hear that it's got a good chance of getting better based on your comments. I know that feeling and behavior your describing it's like getting caught in an avalache of emotion and obsessive thinking, I've giving in to it as well and boom there I've either injured myself or someone else emotionally. Then the guilt and remorse hit walking in arm and arm so proud of their accomplishment and I'm in a pickle by this time. Ready to escape anywhere I can. Now I got this program and I really beleive I'm going to get the tools to makes these same blunders become a rarity. So right now I'm trying to get out of my perfectionist mode and stop beating myself up when thse things do occur, I've had to admit I'm human like everyone else. Now I'm trying to treat myself in a more kinder, gentler and compassionate way. Plus when I have occurances like the one you described I use it to help establish and understand this pattern of "building up to it" so I can get better at recognizing it next time and dealing with it before it results in behaviors that end up hurting myself and others. This takes hard work and right now I'm working diligently to get better.

THis is my first time to the community as well and it is amazing how I can relate to evryone. I started the program in September and worked it for a couple of weeks and then took a break for about a week and wow what I difference when I wasn't working the program I started becoming negative again. I'm back to listening to the tapes and doing my work book and carrying my cards with me. I already feel so much better after reopening the program again. THis is what I need. I also have those scenarios that start of like scenarios and next thing I know they somehow become my reality and I'm inticipating that this or that will happen. I know I have a lot of work to do but I feel so fortunate that I have the tools in this program to help me. THanks for everyones posts it is so comforting to know that I an not alone.

Iowa, It was good for me to read your post today. I started session 3 yeserday and I told my better half it would be a tough week for me. I am one of those people who get off on an unrealistic scenario as you call it. I could never quit figure out how to expain it, but that hits the nail on the head. I've always said I get carried away on making up stories that havn't happened but could, as a result of something that happened and really made me mad. So I start imagining the worst. I don't panic our think negatively of myself I just get mad and fictionalize.
You are the first post I have read that lets me see I am not the only one with this unrealistic scenarion issue. Thanks for posting, like you I read a lot of post but keep my thoughts to myself. Yours was enlightening to read.
Hope your working the program well.

I am now working on session 3. Wow what an eye opener. I told my husband the same thing...this is going to be a tough one! I am so glad for it.

It is unbelievable how many negative thought I have! I too have had imaginary conversations with myself that actually never happened and made up in my own head scenerios that upset, angered and hurt me. And they never even happened!! I have had such low self esteem and now I am starting to see why. I scare myself silly with the way I think and I have been meaner to myself than I would ever be to anyone.

This one is going to be a lot of work but when I consider how wonderful it will be to no longer think that way...I feel so excited!!Please let me know how you all are doing with this session. Just imagine the possibilities!!

I started session 3 two days ago and I feel that this may be one of the most important steps toward defeating my anxiety. I am a worrier so I have negative selftalk all the time. I am glad to say that even though I have written down so many negative thoughts, I have had many positive thoughts to counter act them. From now on I am going to move on with the program week by week so that I can get the full benefit. I always stop when I am not so worried, but then I fall again. It is now time for me to take control of my life and negative talk. Until next time

Yam

Hi Yam:

My name is Stephanie and I am on session 3 also. It is a big key in how bad the panic can buid up. I am recognizing more now how a problem that I am having troubloe solvng wrks out into a opanic situatio and ow I can use s9me c9mforting things to not let that happen. I had a major spnal fusion when I was 15 and I am functionng fne, but I worry aout it so much, but I am tring to accept that it isn't the end of the world. Keep up the good work and do write back. I write but I never see my replies. Stephanie