Hopefully I'm not the only one

I have a 9yr old son who has shown some of the same personality traits that I had as a kid, this has brought on huge amounts of guilt & I've spent years & years trying to figure out how to be a better parent to him, and how to better myself as a mother & until now nothing seemed to fit, much to my frustration.

When I first decided to try this program it never occured to me that it would help our entire family, once I realized this an enormous weight has been lifted from my shoulders & for the first time I've felt hope. What a blessing!

I'd love to get to know other parents who are perahps in my same/and/or/similar situation, or if you've purchased the program for you child? I'm curious to hear how it works.

I felt the same way with both of my children when they were little. To me, they showed signs of anxiety and depression and I tried to get them to listen to the program. They would listen sometimes but not often enough for me. After I finally realized that I was pressuring them about it, I backed off and said I'll let them come to me when they wanted that help. They would come to me with their problems as normally they do, but I realized that they were only going though teenage stuff, not real anxiety disorder stuff. I'm glad I backed off before I made things worse. I'm glad I didn't put it in their minds that they had this because now they are fine, healthy 21 and 18 year olds.

Well, my intention isn't to force it on him or for him to even do the program, in re-reading my post I realized I didn't make that clear at all. My intention is to use what my husband and I have learned from the program in order to help him, does that make sense? I also think that once I start behaving differently that in & of itself will help the situation.

But yes, I can totally see how it could actually make things worse if you were to force it on them, or make them think they had all these things when they didn't. So that is good to point out.

hey i have three children 2 girls ages 16 and 18 and one son age 14 i believe that my 18 year old may have some anxiety but she really knows how to deal with it well she goes in her room and just sits by herself quietly until it passes i hate to think that ive passed off these traits to my children but hopefully as i learn and change they will as well

I am the mother of a 3 year old and a 5 year old. My son, the 5 year old, shows signs of depression, anxiety and anger. He is very sensitive and easily frustrated as I am. I felt horrible thinking I did this to him. It was the topic of many therapy sessions But, what I learned was children learn from watching you. Yes, there is a genetic element, but alot of it is environment. Once my behaviors started to change, so did his. Obviously, with a 5 year old, having him sit and listen to anything for a long period of time is not possible. I don't think he would understand it anyway. The good news is they don't have to here is from Lucinda, they can see it from you.

I also purchased a book recently called "Have a New Kid by Friday". It is written by a psychologist with children of his own and teaches you very doable, easy techniques for dealing with all sorts of problems parents have with children. It is a wonderful guide. No spanking, threatening, etc. involved just tough love so to speak.

Don't get overwhelmed or disheartened. With love, patience and knowledge, you can make a difference. Good luck to you.

Thanks you guys for replies, I really appreciate it.

proudmomof2 ~ that's encouraging to hear that once your behaviors began to change, so did your sons! I really believe that is probably the most important thing, I have noticed in the two days that I've started this program that a lot of my behaviors are very much rooted in how I grew up & how my dad behaved. All the more reason to change it, so that my children wont pick up on it.

I only have a minute but wanted to say yes, I am a parent. I have a four year old daughter and worry constantly about how my depression has already affected her life. I just started the program and this is my first post. I am hopeful...

HELLO.... I belive my behavior is affecting my 1 year old son. If his pulling things out my drawer and i say "no".. he'll scratch me or hit me, or he'll go back mad pulling all my clothes out. Is that just him b/c thats what lil' one yr old's do or is my depression really hurting him???

advice please!

I'm the parent of 3 children Dec. 10 my oldest will be 22 BOY my second is a Girl age 16 and is pregnet my youngest is a Boy age 3 will be 4 in jan.

my oldest had his first child girl july 28 08
on oct 21 he told me he hated me with a passion and i was to stay away from his daughter!
long an painful story.(not so long)

I grew up in an alcoholic home and so have my children

not sure how much or even what I'm saposed to share.

quote:

Originally posted by Susy Roan:
HELLO.... I belive my behavior is affecting my 1 year old son. If his pulling things out my drawer and i say "no".. he'll scratch me or hit me, or he'll go back mad pulling all my clothes out. Is that just him b/c thats what lil' one yr old's do or is my depression really hurting him???advice please!

Hi I know my nephew was a little handful too. If he was doing something wrong, like say climbing up on something and she would tell him no he would climb down, go over and hit her and then resume his climbing. He went through a biting stage too. Also there is something irresistable to a young child about pulling things out of drawers, cabinets, etc. I don't know that this is a result of your behavior. What is your behavior like and what is his behavior like at other times and around other people? I know how scary it is to think you are detrimentally affecting your child, believe me. I feel for you but it may be fairly normal behavior that some parenting books can address. Lord knows they saved my life. Still do..

quote:

Originally posted by surviver:
I'm the parent of 3 children Dec. 10 my oldest will be 22 BOY my second is a Girl age 16 and is pregnet my youngest is a Boy age 3 will be 4 in jan.

my oldest had his first child girl july 28 08
on oct 21 he told me he hated me with a passion and i was to stay away from his daughter!
long an painful story.(not so long)

I grew up in an alcoholic home and so have my children

not sure how much or even what I'm saposed to share.

I think you can share as much as you need to. I'm sorry about your granddaughter. Maybe as you continue to become more healthy and overcome your anxiety/depression more things will fall into place for you and you can heal and help your family heal as well

I'm a mother. I raised 4 or my five children. I gave my first up because of my anxiety and depression. I lost my 4th child. She was abducted and murdered. My youngest child is a newly wed 21 year old son. I have suffered Panic, anxiety and depression as long as I can remember. My first Panic attack was when my sister locked me in a closed. I was 2 or 3.

I have just shared this web sight with My Daughter of 25, my son of 21, my daughter in law to my first husband, My Mother, My step father and several friends who I believe this program will help.

As a mother, I am excited to find help for the things I didn't know I was teaching down to my children.

As a Daughter, I am excited that I could offer to my mother a means to learn to cope with what she unknowingly taught to me.

As a friend, I am excited to share with my friends this chance to help their selfs if they need the help.

As a person, I know these people will share my joy, for as my family and friends see me heal, they will know what had helped me get there.

This has to be a good thing.

Hello Peace,
I know you wrote this some time ago but when I read you I had this need of telling you that I have a 10 year old son that has anxiety too. I can tell so badly. I knew something was wrong with him but I couldn't tell what. He has been showing all these symptoms for almost 2 years when he started having problems with a teacher he had, that was extremely demanding, strict and always stressed (ironically).
Untill now I never knew what it was and both were starting to fall into a depression for obvious reasons. The thing is that finally after starting with the program I could understand what is going on with him and I felt so relieved. At the same time a panicked thinking that it's not only me I have to work with but also him. I am just hoping that I will find the way to help him too once I am done with myself. For the moment I already talked to him and tried to make him understand what he has and why. And you know what? When he started relating everything I was talking about with himself, a BIG smile came to his face. He finally understood what is going on with him.
So for me, it is not only myself that I have to take care of, but him too. And I am doing it with a lot of hope and excitement. It breaks my heart to see him so sad all the time, worried, confused and moody. Some days he is very happy and everything seems to be fine but he can change in a matter of a second and become the most miserable, sad and angry kid in the world.
I just know it is anxiety, he has every single one of the symptoms, fears and traits of personality. I will just take it slowly with him.