I have trouble making important decisions. I am always "what if" ing no matter what I decide. I try to talk things out with my spouse, but he is tired of this routine.

How do you get confidence in your decision, make it, stay with it, and don't worry about it again?

quote:

Originally posted by 2much:
[qb]I have trouble making important decisions. I am always "what if" ing no matter what I decide. I try to talk things out with my spouse, but he is tired of this routine.

How do you get confidence in your decision, make it, stay with it, and don't worry about it again?[/qb]

It's a choice.

some choices are hard to make

I do the same thing. I will second guess myself about practically anything, big or little decisions.
My suggestion is to make a list of the positive and negatives about each of your possible choices along with what your priorities in life are. After sufficiently thinking over the issue make an informed decision. Then tell yourself the decision is made and you can not and will not revisit the issue unless a new decisions needs to be made further down the line. What people have told me is that once you have made the decision don't worry about whether the decision you made is right or wrong, just make the decision you made '"right" by focusing your energy on the option you chose. If you do make what you think is a mistake then go from there and make future decisions based on your new insight and know that you can deal with whatever the outcome is.
One method that helps me from going around in circles is to put a rubber band around my wrist. When I start getting negative, I snap the rubber band on my wrist. If the thoughts return or new negative thoughts surface, I just keep snapping until I stop. It sounds silly, and I was skeptical but I found it works pretty good if you give it a chance.

I wanted to thank you for bringing up this topic, I've gone through the program up until lesson 10 and then stopped because I really thought I was recovered. I thought I'd never have another panic attack again. And then I had one and didn't know how to calm myself down and I've been in a spiral ever since. I've gone back to the program and I'm making a commitment to finish it all the way through this time, regardless of how I feel. Amethyst, I wanted to thank you for the Rubber band idea. I have been second guessing myself lately in EVERYTHING I do and I find it hard to get past scary thoughts or negative thoughts. I saw this post yesterday and tried the rubber band along w/ good self talk and it worked! I couldn't believe it. Every time a negative thought popped up, I'd snap the rubber band and then reinforce with positive self talk and I'd let it go. Towards the end of the day my wrist was pretty sore! I know I still have a long road ahead of me, but any little thing that can help is nice. Thanks again.

Suziemac:
You're welcome! I'm glad it helped you. I got the idea from my therapist.
My arm gets pretty sore at times too! But you'll find you will slowly have to snap it less as time goes by.