Hi everyone, I wasn't sure which lesson to post this under, but this one is as good as any, because i certainly have many "what if's" around the soon-to-be absence of cigarettes in my life!! I would so appreciate hearing from anyone who has been seriously addicted to smoking, and who has managed to live without this habit for any length of time (without tearing their hair out or gaining huge amounts of weight!!) Actually, help from ANYONE will be appreciated. I have been smoking since the age of 14. I have tried to quite only twice so far, the last attempt was over 10 years ago. I lasted for 3 months, with the aid of nicorettes. During that time, i never once actually WANTED a cigarette, though i felt this empty space inside of me the entire time, like i was missing my best friend...ha ha...poison! During a difficult time at the end of that three months, i began to binge-eat, gained weight and was so upset by this, that i returned to smoking. I have known that i would have to quit SOON, as i'm at an age now where smoking is a number one enemy...pre-menopausal. Until recently, i felt that i would not quit until i progressed enough in dealing with the panic attacks which still keep me so close to home. When i have a full-blown attack, i reach for a cigarette immediately. Last week, when i made it to a friends house for dinner (way out of my area of perceived safety) i was told there would be 'no smoking allowed', as the owner of this home had just quit. Well, the panic rised so quickly...i was dealing with enough as it was! The hostess realized my dilemna and decided to permit smoking for that evening. And i thought to myself "how am i going to practice getting around when i can't smoke!" It has been suggested to me...on this Forum...that i wait until i'm sufficiently recovered and mobile again...until i tackle quitting smoking. Yet, during these last two months, MY BODY is telling me quite another thing! I've clearly got the message, from the way my body has been feeling, that i shouldn't wait any longer. Sometimes i feel like my lungs are collapsing....the stairs up to my apartment are not so easy to walk up anymore....i have to stop moving every 5 minutes during an aerobic class, i've had a bad smoker's cough for maybe 20 years! I just read an article written by Peter Gzowski, who smoked 3 packs a day for 50 years and then he quit, one-and-a-half years ago. Three months after quitting, he got the very worst case of Emphazema. He now lives his life, limited to one or two rooms in his home, hooked up to an oxygen machine. I HAVE TO QUIT...NOW! A friend of mine, who has tried countless times to quit, is doing this with me. Maybe this will help. As is typical of a true addict...i cannot imagine living without smoking! Yes, i am remembering to think about all the positives this can create for me. Everyone experiences withdrawal differently...some people have none! But i remember what it was like for me, and it's no picnic and can actually induce fear. (oboy...more fear!) When i think about how my days might be, without cigarettes, i want to run away. I smoke with practically every single activity i engage in....morning newspaper, putting on makeup, ALL telephone calls, writing, drawing, typing, walking....the list is long. I used to have an eating disorder, which has been under control for a long time now, and i fear that this could come up, when i stop smoking. Oh well, i could go on and on, but you get the picture. I'm sitting here now, typing this, cigarette beside me, knowing that this week all of this changes. It's obvious that i should be feeling apprehensive and upset about this, as i can't even remember living without smoking!! Anyway, any and all support or tips would be so much appreciated. Thank you, Lindi

Hi Lindi:

I'm so glad to see this post. I have been smoking since I was 15 - I have quit numerous times, this year on Jan. 1 I quit for 5 months with the help of the nicorette patch for two weeks - a friend of mine moved from California and stayed with my husband and me for about 2 months. She is "one of those" smokers that only smokes after the end of the day - usually outside with a glass of wine - well...I took it as long as I could about 4 weeks sitting outside with her and then before I knew it, having just one with her in the evenings put me right back where I was before I quit. I was so angry with myself.

I have since started this program and have made monumental strides in so many areas - I am so much happier, easy-going, not much upsets me anymore, except that darned smoking habit.

Lindi - I'm ready - my stop date is October 5th, I will be 45, too old and too smart to continue this deadly habit. I, like you have noticed health problems lately, shortness of breath, fatigue, not to mention that it is also terrible for people with anxiety problems.

I think that whenever you choose is the right time for you to stop, don't keep waiting until all's right with you, I know that I am ready and am determined to once and for all "kick butt"

When's your stop date - please stay in touch with me and let me know how you're doing - I'll be glad to be your online support and offer any help I can.

I've had so much experience in quitting I think that now I know what to avoid. Now I am strong enough to tell friends that it really will bother me if they smoke in front of me, at least until I am strong enough to handle it.

I wish you luck - you can do it, so can I!!!

Hi Lindi,

Just stop smoking, there isn't any boogyman thats gonna jump out of a bush and make you start smoking again, and besides, smoking is bad for you. So what if you feel bad because of withdrawel, you can deal with it, its not big deal and soon the feelings will pass and you'll be over it. Hope I've helped and I hope it works out for you, take care.

Michael

[This message has been edited by mgoldberg (edited 09-29-2001).]

Hi Farmers, Just now saw your reply...11:30 p.m. This is great...you're quitting with me!! When did you decide on that date October 5th? Did you say this is your birthday? I've been hesitant to try your method of the patch, so i'll be using the gum, as i did over 10 years ago. My date for quitting is actually October 1st, Monday!!! I thought i might have to put this off a bit, since i haven't yet got the nicorette gum and am not keen on trying without it. I'm not employed presently and have absolutely NO extra funds, so my doctor has ordered something called a 'compassionate prescription' (believe it or not!), which means the nicorettes will be no-charge. I believe it works out to about $150.00 a month. This hasn't yet been delivered to the doctor's office and i'm wondering if i should wait. (as i'm writing this, i realize i can simply purchase a one-week supply tomorrow at the drugstore....oh God...that means Monday is it!!) Sounds like you've had some experience with 'quitting',right? Farmers, i can't tell you how 'unbelievable' this all feels to me...the fact that i'm actually going to be giving this my best shot. Well, i won't repeat myself, i've already said how addicted i am to this lifelong habit....i've somehow got to get my mind focused in a very positive direction. So, of course i will accept the support you offer! And use me too, if need be. As i mentioned, i'm doing this along with my friend (Jonathan) who has tried umpteen times before. Also, i discovered this website...i think it's called Quitsmoking, and they keep sending me articles which help to remind us WHY we're quitting this disgusting habit. I've saved all these articles to start reading on Monday. Farmers ~ i hope we both make it!! I'm going to use the "one day at a time" formula, it's the best i know to deal with anything that 'seems' impossiblly difficult. Okay, that's it for now. Talk with you later...for sure! Lindi

Hi again Farmers, I forgot to mention....i think it's terrific that you're ready to try again, after returning to smoking these last few months! I admire your resolve. MICHAEL, Hi and thank's for writing. All that you say makes good sense....i have to tell ya, if it were only that easy...i would have quit years ago! But in the end, you're right....once i'm actually 'doing this', i have to tell myself these things, that i can do it, that it's no big deal,etc.... Of course i can get through the withdrawal, even though i do recall how awful that was for me the last time....the shakes, very dizzy, sick feelings, fear of going outside,etc.. So, it's very difficult to ADD this on top of the 'regular' panic! Who knows, as i said..it is 10 yrs. since i last tried, perhaps this time will be different....better! Thanks again, Lindi

I found these ten steps in an article I read once...hope they help! If you've got the courage to stand up to anxiety, you can definetly stand up to cigarettes!
Liz

Ten Ways to Stop Smoking

1. Be truly motivated. Have good solid reasons for wanting to quit-self-esteem; concern for your health, present and future; concern for loved ones affected by your dangerous habit; desire to be clean, physically and morally, before self and God.

2. Set a date to quit, and follow it. Go cold turkey; it hurts fast, but it heals fast.

3. Take positive action to break the habit. Break up any cigarettes in the house, and pour water over them. Get all your tobacco-smelling clothing cleaned. Start afresh, feel fresh!

4. Avoid tobacco-laden atmosphere and smoking friends while completing total withdrawal from nicotine. Visit places where smoking is forbidden, such as museums and libraries.

5. Save the money you would have spent on tobacco and count it after a month! Buy something you really need. Or buy a gift for a loved one who can also rejoice in your victory.

6. Keep yourself and your hands busy in those moments when you would normally reach for a cigarette. Chew gum (not nicotine gum) or suck mints when the desire to smoke gnaws at you. Instead of smoking, clean teeth after meals. Take a walk, write letters, sew, garden, repair things, clean the car, and so on.

7. When feeling nervous or under stress, breathe deeply and slowly. Rather than reach for a cigarette, drink plenty of water and fruit juices. Liquids cleanse.

8. Exercise within your physical limits. Check with your doctor first as to what is reasonable. Your improving physical condition will encourage you.

9. Cut down on alcohol intake. Alcohol and cigarettes often "go together," since alcohol can trigger the desire to smoke. Cut the social occasions when this might happen. View tobacco ads critically-analyze their superficiality and duplicity. Don't be taken in again.

10. Pray earnestly to God for help and then act in accordance with your prayers. Don't expect a miracle; just make it happen.

Hi Lindi:

Just read your post and the following thread - I don't have to wait for the 5th, I can join you tomorrow and make the 1st my day too, how much difference will a few more days make anyway - I can still always say that October of 2001 was the time I quit smoking for good

Thanks for the website, "quitsmoking" I'm going there after this post. Also, I agree with you, one day at a time is the only way to approach this.

Thanks for the input FrizzyLiz & Michael, I wish that I could just go "cold turkey", but the best approach for me is the patch, it really helps me to alleviate the severe withdrawal symptoms until I am properly weaned from the nicotine, then it is not so hard to go cold turkey after getting most of the nicotine out of your system. Hey, whatever works - just so it works. Lindi, I tried the gum before and it made me nauseous. I'm going to print the ten tips FrizzyLiz, maybe I'll modify it with some of my own reasons and post it on my fridge.

So Lindi, get in that car, go get your gum and join me tomorrow morning in becoming a non-smoker for life!!! I've never had a pal to go through this with before, I'm looking forward to your support - it's going to be hard, but we can do it.

Susan

Hi FrizzyLiz and Susan (Farmers), FrizzyLiz (cute name!) thank's so much for taking the time to type out all the helpful hints! I will refer to it again and again. That was so kind of you! Susan ~ So, you're ready to start early...tomorrow! You're sounding more 'ready' than i am! I remember too, that the nicorette gum was a bit nauseating but it wasn't that bad for me. I'm too afraid to stop smoking without SOME kind of aid, so i'll be trying that one. You said "get into the car and get that gum"...but, i don't drive!! (not important, just thought i'd mention it)....i'll be walking one block to the drugstore. Good God...i'm boring myself with all my details! The truth is Susan, i actually feel scared. I hardly slept a wink last night, kept having these images of myself at the bank of Monday, paying bills which MUST be taken care of on Monday....and in the image, i'm shaking and having huge panic attacks and where are my cigarettes!!!!What a night! I want to be totally honest about how i'm feeling re:letting go of this addiction ~ i woke up crying today, feeling as if i'm losing my very best friend. For myself, this feels HUGE! I fear how withdrawal will be, because i'm already dealing with the panic thingie...i could go on and on, but best to stop here, as i've got to 'get a grip' on this mind of mine. I am very glad to know you will be doing this with me, and i wish you knew my friend Jonathan...who will be doing this with 'US'.....he is the man i lived with for over 13 years...long story why i left that relationship about 4 years ago. As it turns out, we are very close friends now. He's like a Superman...has tackled and overcome so much during his lifetime.....too much to get into here...and 'smoking' has been the one thing he's yet to overcome. I actually attempted to 'get out of' tomorrow, by telling Jonathan that i don't know if i can make it to the bank on the first day of quitting....his reply: you're quitting tomorrow, i'll get you to the bank. We both laughed...he knows i'd do anything to put this off! Susan, please forgive me for rambling on and on, this isn't like me. What can i say, i'm truly nervous about this. Okay, enough Lindi!!!!! I know i will use all the tools i have at my disposal...to ground and calm myself. Talk with you later, Lindilooooo

Hi Lindi:

You know I thought later after I sent my post to you that "what if" Lindi isn't driving, gaaaawd, sorry, but walking is better for you anyway, right?

I know how you feel Lindi, we do tend to rely on cigarettes for comfort in times of stress, I'm going to be looking for other ways to deal with the stress like, getting on the forum to keep in touch with how everyone's doing, brushing my dog (cocker spaniel, lots of matts if not kept up with), this soothes me, (the dog hates it), going for a walk, hanging out with non-smoking friends, working in the garden, etc. How many stress relievers can you come up with and what works for you?

I know how hard this will be, and I don't think I'm any more ready than you are to go through this withdrawal, but then, it is time isn't it Lindi.

So, get yourself to that drugstore tomorrow morning, let's get started, I wish I knew Johnathan too, you can keep me posted on him though.

Wishing you a peaceful night Lindilooooo. Let's talk again tomorrow.

Susan

I'm game!!! October 5th it is!!! I quit somking for 9 years and started again!!!!!!! I must have been crazy.

I quit by doing it 15 minutes at a time. I told myself I could have one fifteen minutes from now. I did this every fifteen mintes. Just knowing I could have one in 15 min. made it easier. But each fifteen minutes I decided to wait fifteen more minutes. The next thing I knew I had QUIT.

So I'm on. October 5 it is!. I will not have a cigarette starting Oct 5th until 9:15 and then 9:45 and so on. I'm actually looking forward to this!! I can't wait actually. I look at everything on the bright side now in my life and this is going to be one more thing to add to my Congratulation Honor List. Thanks for the push!.

quote:

Originally posted by Lindi:
I've somehow got to get my mind focused in a very positive direction.

Hi Lindi,

It�s OK to post this topic here, but I trust you understand why I�d post it where all the other drugs are discussed under the section on the forum titled �Lesson 11� The Truth About Medication��

I understand how Jonathan and you may fear procrastination, but I suggest it may not need to be all or nothing during the unique occasion of going to the bank on your �start date.� It may help with sleep at night to know one or two cigarettes may be allowed to be available while going to the bank. Consider how well it may work for you to define success as keeping to a commitment of that one or two weather or not they�re ever used.

Personally, I attended meetings at the American Cancer Society during my withdrawals from this drug. Most found the psychological withdrawal was more challenging than the physical withdrawals. Six months afterward we all met privately at a member�s home and discovered I was the only participant that was still free of this drug. We explored why this may be true and concluded one key was that I was the only one who had made other life changes: Close to this time I added enough new different enjoyable healthy things/habits to my life that needs and desires were more appropriately met without the drug; I had basically replaced the drug with more healthy living activities/habits. The truth is, I chose to add to my life, not take away. Instead of focusing on losing something, I was focusing on gaining something. Not too surprisingly, lesson twelve on secondary gains comes to mind again: Letting go may lead to some gain, but I�ve learned whatever is gained allows the letting go.

In no way do I intend to discount the pain you may feel around your current finances, but the good news is that it�s well documented that as the financial cost of this drug rises, the use decreases. You may recall in a previous post I wrote: �I�ve always been amazed by how much money isolation costs.� The same basic principal applies here as well. How well may it work to choose focusing on the money freed up now that better enables adding or maintaining more healthy living activities/habits?

I know you may consider yourself well educated about much of this, but thought you may find the following links relevant:

Women and Smoking

Quitting Smoking

Tips Immediately After Quitting

Smoking May Increase Anxiety

As always, let your own patience and compassion in.

"Hi" to Honor, Susan and Dolphin ~ Thank you all so much!!! HONOR: You mentioned that you're going to join us...Yeah!!! I'm not sure if you realize that my quit-date is tomorrow, October 1st, or do you need to wait until the 5th? (understandable, if so!)I LOVE that you mention your strategy of "15 minutes at a time", never mind 'One day at a time'!!! Thank's for that. And, i hope i am able to follow your very positive attitude! Thank's! SUSAN: Maybe i should buy a cocker spaniel!! ha ha. They are the cutest dogs. Stress relievers for me (you said to think about what they might be)....let's see.... reading, definately baths, videos, aerobic exercise, walks. Some of the other things i'm thinking of are too costly right now (massages, mmmmm)Doing my artwork and writing wouldn't fit into this category, as they are SO associated with smoking. Maybe later. Oh, by the way, i picked up the good old nicorettes today. I KNOW we'll be talking tomorrow. And i wish you the BEST of luck with this! Lindi DOLPHIN: Hi there! Always great to hear from you. And now that i've arrived at replying to your wonderful post, i have maybe two minutes! (someone coming in a few minutes) Didn't want to wait until later though, incase i became too busy to get to this Forum. Dolphin, you are always an inspiration for reminding me about staying on the 'right track', staying 'Conscious'! I had actually been thinking about keeping ONE cigarette on me for a while, especially when taking practice walks for the panic. I'm not too sure about this though, as if i DID smoke that ONE, i'm almost sure where it would lead. But, we'll see. I like that idea. Interesting that you were the only one who had remained a non-smoker (within that group you mentioned) and i can well understand that your creating healthy habits and changing your lifestyle would have helped this enormously. You seem to have such steadfastness, when it comes to your recovery. Thank you SO MUCH for including those links!! So good of you. Ooops, there's the doorbell...i'll have a look at those links later on tonight. God bless, Lindi

I will be thinking of you all this week! I think its great that you are trying to quit. I have no good advice as I do not smoke. When I was a teen I smoked when I was with friends that did or partying. I would occasionally smoke at home, but one day I 'felt' like i needed or really wanted a cigarette and it scared me. I decided then and there I didn't want to be a smoker. That was it. You know I am proud of me for that. I wish you all success on this. I understand that it is a very difficult thing. Keep your focus on how you will feel, look, and how much more $$$ you will have. Sending you hugs when your days are not the greatest. Reena

Hi Reena, God bless you for taking the time to send your best wishes!! (being a non-smoker and all) You were very, very wise to make a decision to not smoke, when you were younger. I remember when we all had our first cigarette (my little girlfriends and i)....choking, gasping, and nauseated...and then, we finally got it! All to appear sophisticated, more adult! Good grief! Who could have imagined that this stick of poison would assume such power over us! And here i sit, 2:00 a.m. smoking the rest of this pack before i go to sleep, doing my best to psyche myself into The Great Attempt...tomorrow. I can see how overly dramatic this all sounds, the way i've been writing about this today. Yet, that's how it feels for me. Like something really HUGE to embark upon. It's really amazing to see just how dependent i am on these darn things! Reena, thank's again for your caring thoughts and words, and i do hope you're doing well!!! Lindi

Hi Andrew, You were writing to me at the EXACT same moment that i was posting my reply to Reena.....eeeeeerie!!!! Thank you SO MUCH for sending me your support and telling me that you "believe in me". That truly touched my heart. And i absolutely LOVE that quote from The Course! Soooo beautiful. love, Lindaloo