I did the first five weeks really well, sticking to the routine and doing all the work and it was actually starting to help. Then I slowed down for the next two weeks and did them kind of half-heartedly. I should have been in week 7 at least 3 weeks ago, but for some reason I can't bring myself to get going again. I think part of the problem is that I actually did eliminate sugar and caffeine - something I thought was absolutely impossible. At first it made my anxiety worse, then after a month there was absolutely no change. So I've been frustrated that I worked so hard and it didn't make a difference and I'm scared to keep trying. Does anyone have any suggestions or encouraging words?

abbasgirl

You can start by making the decision to pick up where you left off !!!

Make the CHOICE and just do it !

It's harder some days but you can at least do a little. It's better than none.

Positive thinking takes some hard work and practice.

YES...PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE.....

abbasgirl,

quote:

Then I slowed down for the next two weeks and did them kind of half-heartedly. I should have been in week 7 at least 3 weeks ago, but for some reason I can't bring myself to get going again.

Don't should on yourself. It kills your motivation. This entire post appears to be tied into expectations. You appear disappointed with yourself because you didn't continue with the program. Forgive yourself and start again. No big deal.

quote:

I think part of the problem is that I actually did eliminate sugar and caffeine - something I thought was absolutely impossible. At first it made my anxiety worse, then after a month there was absolutely no change. So I've been frustrated that I worked so hard and it didn't make a difference and I'm scared to keep trying.

What did you expect? Remember tape 4? I personally think that living without caffeine is a very good step and very healthy for you long term no matter whether you can tell a difference with it right now or not. You will be thanking yourself forever later on because of this change. You did something very healthy for yourself. I was a caffeine addict and it took me a year to break the habit. I've been caffiene free for 17+ years.

Try and let go of expectations. For many of us, we have to have a never give up, never surrender attitude in this battle against our disorders. If we are going to give up so easily, why even start trying to get better? Is overcoming these disorders easy? No!!! So, why are we so quick to give up on ourselves??!! This is Normandy Beach, baby, June 6, 1944, D-Day!! You have got to have that kind of attitude to recover. This is not a walk in the park and then you are better. This is serious business. It's taken me 2.5 years to get to where I am at. This is war!!! I'll never give up, never surrender, never, never, never!!!!!!! And it's that kind of attitude, perseverance, that wins the war.

So, be easy on yourself. Don't beat yourself up. This only destroys movitivation. When we fail, we have to pick ourselves up (remember Lucinda saying this?) brush ourselves off, and try, try again.

Don53. I have to laugh. In so many ways you remind me of my ex. Yet I love some of the things you say. Like this thing about our being at war. That is a VERY good analogy. I LOVE it. Thanks. Thinking of it like that makes me mad and that makes me fight harder. Thanks.

I wonder if it is my controlling nature that you see as disagreeable. I have to admit I don't like it either, but it is so much a part of me. I'm glad I made you laugh. This is war. A couple of weeks ago I went out to spend a few minutes cleaning out a bird's nest it had made under one of the eaves of our garage. They are continually doing this. I got the ladder and as I began to climb I felt this anxiety and physical weakness. I felt too tired to climb the ladder and finish what I had started. So I spent a few minutes waiting for strength to come back. It never did. I knew it was just anxiety and that I had the strength, but I wasn't feeling it. I shouldn't have responded in the manner that I did, I overreacted, but the anxiety left. I got mad, leaned over and put my hands on my knees while still standing and shouted to the anxiety, "I'll never give up, never, never, never!!!" I felt like an idiot after that and wondered what my next door neighbor must think. Then the dog about two houses down started barking at me. But, the anxiety left and I was able to finish cleaning out the bird's nest.

Don,
reading what you went through climbing the ladder, then yelling that you'll never give up, makes me feel two things.
First, it makes me want to cry, because I can empathize with what you were feeling.
Second, it makes me want to say that I am proud of you for mustering the courage to yell out in defiance.
Also, I just wanted to make a point, perhaps.
Would you say that "anger" motivated you to yell out in defiance like this?
I only ask because it seems that anger is what often if not always, delivers me from the grip of the "downward spiral". I have heard others mention this as well, so I was just wondering if there is validity, and perhaps even a key, to the use of anger in combatting this condition.
Perhaps I am over simplifying it, or making something out of nothing. About ten years ago I was seeing a very good christian psychologist who always referred to my panic attacks as "anger attacks". My wife always tells me that I hold all my anger in.
I'm just trying to put two and two together.

Hi Thief,

What I should have done was to just accept the feelings and try and work through it. I am very glad that my son wasn't home. I scared my wife. So, this type of reaction is not a good way for me to handle something like this. If I got used to reacting this way it would be hard to stop. I very rarely get this type of anxiety and I didn't understand where it came from. I still don't. I overreacted to a situation that was very low on my priority list, cleaning out a bird's nest. The anxiety took me by surprise. Anger is not the usual way I respond now. It used to be the only I way responded. I realized I blew it and then forgave myself. I can't remember the last time I acted like this, but it was before my son came home from college for the summer on May 10.

When I was young I got angry at things, but I held it in and never expressed it. It seems like that in my thirties I had just stuffed and stuffed so much stuff that it began spewing out onto the ones I loved. And ever since that has been the way that I have responded, releasing it by exploding. I have tried to change over the last 10 years or so by expressing what I feel at times to those who offend me in a controlled manner, thereby releasing the anger at the same time. This has worked pretty well for me. It takes practice to get good at it. It treats the other person with a degree of respect while at the same time making them accountable and responsible for their behavior. It's not to get revenge, it's simply to stand up for myself. Sometimes we are going to upset others or rock the boat and that is okay with me.

I would feel terrible if my usual way of responding to stress or pressure was with anger. I've done that in the past and that's one of the things about me that I have been working on changing. And I have. This was a slip. For me to behave like this consistently would bring me guilt and a sense of failure. I don't want that. That is where I have come from.

I usually don't have much anxiety, but I know it can be terrible. I went through it as a teenager. I know you are going through a very rough time, thief. Don't beat yourself up. And however you CHOOSE to respond, love and accept yourself. I don't think losing control of ourselves is what we want in our lives. There are better ways to deal with anger. But I also know that if I were having as much anxiety as you that at times I might respond in anger.

Thanks Don,
I wasn't at all referring to directing anger at others. I meant getting in touch with that force inside of us that allows us to fight our tendency to be fearful. Sometimes it seems that anger is the only emotion that gives me the power over the emotion of fear. And I was thinking in that vein in regards to your outcry that you wouldn't give up. I thought that was a perfect example of what I'm talking about.

Yes, definitely getting angry with the anxiety helped me in that situation. I'd rather be angry at it than afraid, if that makes any sense. I've heard it said that fear and anger can't occupy the same space at the same time and that was going through my mind when I yelled. But I was a bit embarrassed. I'm sure my neighbors heard me.

Abbasgirl,

Don is right. Don't should on yourself! Who says you have to finish the program in any set amount of time? Just start back in and let it help some more. You said it was helping, but maybe you were discouraged because cutting out sugar and caffeine didn't make a bigger difference. Try just assuming that without the sugar and caffeine you'll not only be healthier in the long run, but you'll get even more benefit from the later tapes in the series. You very likely will, without those extra stimulants. Also, since that was a tough battle for you, maybe some of the weeks to come will be easier. It usually works that way - some easier, some more difficult. Good luck, and don't give up on yourself!

letting go of this anxiety and panic takes time, and alot of effort, if you were to show it on a graph, it wouldn't be a straight line going up, it would be up and down, up and down like the stockmarket, when i get in these slumps i now tell myself, ok, not a great day, but no big deal, i'll make the best of it and i still committ and least 15 minutes a day to the program, whether it's listening to tapes, relaxation, etc.
don, anger does work, and i wouldn't worry about the neighbours, they are probably too busy in their own world to even notice, if you have read the book "What to say when you talk to yourself", he mentiones having a conversation with himself at the airport, i'm sure people looked at him strange, but he didn't care.
anyways, i use my punching bag when i feel anxiety or panic coming on, i am getting ready for a vacation, hopefully yoga will work as i can't really pack a punching bag in my suitcase LOL
good luck to all