I have been teaching school for 20 years and am about to start my 21st year. I have a pattern of starting to get nervous about the 1st of August each year. It seems to escalate until school starts and the first day is very difficult. It doesn't seem to get better and yet I have been through this so many times before. I have gone through the program this summer and completed it about a week ago. I am trying to use the skills that I have learned in the program, but am still very tense and nervous. I have begun to have bad dreams at night and my neck is very tight and sore. I wish I didn't have to go through this. I just wanted to know if any of you experience the same things and maybe have some suggestions for making this time of year easier and less stressful.

Thanks!

Hi Dan O,
I am sorry that you are feeling tense and nervous. I have volunteered in my children's classes many times and I have seen how stressful teaching could be.
What grade do you teach? Did you have a bad experience?

Have you tried focussing on the rewards of your career? You should be very proud of yourself. 21yrs! Congratulations!

I am not a teacher, but I understand the pain that anxiety can produce. I am happy that you have completed the program. Practicing the skills of the program help me when i feel tense and nervous. The skills help me deal with the anxiety in a better way.

You are not alone. Please don't be too hard on yourself. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Lora

[Hi Lora,

Thanks so much for the encouraging words. I am proud of my teaching and have so much to be thankful for. I teach grades 9-12 Tech. Ed. Last year for the first time my class built a house and am currently planning this year's house. I also teach woodworking. It is monday morning and I had a rough night of bad dreams and woke up very anxious. I listened to the relaxation tape this morning and that helped some. I am also going through the program a 2nd time and hope that i can put more of the skills into practice. I have seen some improvement, but my biggest problem is social anxiety and the thought of returning to school and facing all of the others teachers and students causes me the most anxiety. I went into teaching because I love kids and love to help them gain confidence in their abilities and skills. I just pray that I can overcome this anxiety which robs me of the "in the moment" joy that I should be feeling. Thanks so much for the encouragement! God bless you in your effort to overcome anxiety and I hope that some day I can overcome mine as well. I feel like this program is a positive start towards a more fullfilling and relaxed life.

Thanks again!

Dan O

Hi Dan O,
It's me again! Wow! You taught your students how to build a house! How impressive. That is truly something to be very proud of. Teaching teenagers would certainly produce anxiety. But look at what you have accomplished. Remarkable!!

I am sorry that you had a rough night of bad dreams. I always find that my anxiety is at its worst in the mornings. Usually by the afternoon I feel like I could take on the world! I have never been a morning person. My anxiety is especially bad if I have an appointment to go to.

I think that going over the program a second time is a great idea. Be proud that you have finished the program once! I have been stuck on lesson 7 for over a month. I can't seem to get motivated. I have not listened to my relation tape for a while either. The summer is such a busy time -- so I have tried not to be too hard on myself.

Have you tried listening to the relaxation tape during the night when you are having the bad dreams etc. Maybe it would help to calm you.

Do you find that your anxiety is better after school begins and when you are busy with your students?

Could you take your relation tape to school with you (do you have a walkman?) and listen to it on your lunch?

My heart goes out to you. Remember you are not alone. It is just anxiety and with practice (the skills) it will get easier.

God Bless!
Lora

Hi Lora,
Thanks so much for your reply and ideas. One of the things that I like about this program is the feeling that I am not alone in feeling alot of anxiety. It is comforting to know that others have improved and I can too. The anxiety does decrease as I get into the school year. It seems as though it increases when there are variations in the routine such as parent teacher conferences, inservice meetings and things like that. What kind of struggles have you had with anxiety and what has been the most benefitial part of the program. When did you complete the program? Have you ever been in a support group? I don't know how to go about finding one. It would be nice to have others to talk to, who have had similar experiences. Once again, thanks for your ideas and have a good summer. It's 95 and humid here in Wisconsin and too hot to stay outside for very long. We're not really used to this kind of weather as it is normally 10 degrees or so cooler. I guess we'll have to take what we can get. Thanks again.

Dan O

Dan O

I know exactly how you feel! I too am a teacher - Middle School - and this time of year is tough on me as well. I also have the social anxiety about facing teachers, students, etc. I am beginning my 7th year of teaching and I agree - it doesn't seem to get better each year - I have the same anxiety each August, or when the routine changes. I guess we don't like change. Anyway, my first panic attack was in my student teaching experience, and I guess that it has just grown from there. I am really tired of living with this condition because I actually like working with the kids, I just hate the anxiety and panic attacks. Well, I would like to hear more from your side of the aisle. Do you coach or just teach? I coach football and baseball. It is a good outlet for me, but I hate the bus rides - too cramped. Again thanks for posting - hope to hear back from you!

Rip 12,

It is so good to hear a reply from another teacher. I have always felt that I am alone with my feelings in this profession. I coached 7th and 8th grade basketball for 3 years when I first started teaching and coached 2 years of JV volleyball. I am somewhat of a football fanatic and a diehard Packer fan. I suffered through last night's game against the lowly Browns, but am somewhat optimistic about the season ahead. Social anxiety has been a major part of my life since I was 7 years old. I really enjoy teaching, however, and have learned to live with the anxiety. I have been going through the program for a 2nd time and feel like it is helping me to some degree. I am really trying to change the ways that I look at things as I am a perfectionist and am always concerned what other people think. Have you been through the program? Social anxiety has made me avoid teacher parties and many other social events that I would probably enjoy. It has kept me from really getting to know other teachers and school personel. I haven't gotten to know the students as well as I would like to because I am always guarding my private life. As a man, I think that it is especially hard to find someone that truly understands what I am going through. I am lucky in that my wife is very understanding and we talk about these things, but it would be nice if you would keep in touch from time to time and we could discuss things. I hope to hear from you again and I wish you a smooth and low anxiety start to the school year.

Dan O

Hey Dan O!

GREAT to hear back from you. I feel like I am seeing a mirror image of myself in your response (except for the Packer part - I bleed purple for the VIKINGS!!- how ironic eh? Anyway, I too have a very supportive wife and have told her most everything, but you're right - as a man, you feel like you need to keep it all together and do everything right. I also miss out on many social opportunities because I just don't want to expend the energy on the weekend fighting the anxiety after dealing with it all week. I have passed on some advancement opportunities on coaching as well because long bus rides are a breeding ground for panic attacks for me. Do you ever have panic attacks in front of your class? I have had a few, and they weren't very pleasant. Are you on any meds? I am on paxil (20 mg) but it doesn't seem to do much for me anymore. I am fearful of the tranquilizers like xanax because I hear they are addictive. I have been through the program (started in March), but with school starting, my anxiety is definitely in high gear again. I guess I should repeat it. I am working on my Master's right now so time is a precious commodity at the moment. I can identify with your perfectionist background and I feel that it is the root of my problem. I just don't know how to turn it off. Well, I have rambled on long enough! I would like to hear more from you - as you said, in our profession, to have social anxiety seems odd - we are around people constantly. It's very nice to know someone out there truly understands - even if they are a PACKER fan!

Ripp 12,

The hated Vikings, huh? Sorry to hear about Corey Stringer, what a terrible thing to happen. It's a small world. I tried Paxil for about 6 weeks a couple of years ago, but the side effects were too severe. I tried another med. before that and it didn't seem to work for me, so I am not on anything. I have never had a panic attack during class, but have during inservices and teacher parties which I have mostly avoided. Like you it is hard to expend the energy to try to overcome the anxiety. I am sometimes nervous a month or so before an occasion like that. I have had many night time panic attacks from dreams about my class being out of control. I have never had another man and especially a teacher to discuss these things with before and hope to stay in contact with you. I will write much more later, but today I am heading to Madison to move my step son from 1 apartment to another. He is a senior at UW Madison. We are staying 2 nights so I won't be back until Wednesday night. I really look forward to continued correspondence with you! Have a good rest of the summer. By the way, my son (11) is also a Viking fan. I think he says it just to bug me. Oh well. Talk to you later.

Dan O

Dan O

How was the move? Hope all went well. the Vikes are 2-0!!! I was going to write back sooner but this website was down. when do you guys start school? We start after Labor Day. I guess I have a tough crew coming in this year so I am nervous about that on top of everything else. I wanted to be a bit more specific about my anxiety to see if we have any parallels. I am very anxious about being in front of people or even sitting in a group where leaving would be difficult. If I know I have to lecture for the whole hour (I don't do this too often though) I have extreme anticipatory anxiety about not being able to leave. Sometimes I have panic attacks while speaking in front of the class. These are more likely at the beginning of the day rather than at the end. Being in church is difficult for me as sitting still for the whole hour and not being able to leave are a problem. I hate bus trips for the same reason. I guess my biggest fear is that I would have to go to the bathroom and I wouldn't be able to leave or I would have a panic attack that would never end. I know that these are unrealistic fears but they seem so real. I hate having the principal or some other adult in my classroom (trapped feeling again). I have passed on being a varsity coach because of the bus trips. I don't read lessons in church because of the panic attacks. I don't go on trips with a group because the ride there would drive me nuts. I am trying to use the skills in the program, but sometimes using them makes me focus more on the fact that there is something wrong with me. Anyway, hope this wasn't too boring to read - thanks for listening though. If you want, I would like to hear more details about your anxiety. Thanks again and good luck getting ready for school.

Rip12

Rip 12,

It's great to hear from you again! Don't ever think that what you have to say is even remotely boring to me, I can relate to almost all of what you say. We really have alot of the same issues. The Vikes are off to a good start, but I can't say the same thing for the Packers. They're on monday night football this week and I hope they don't embarrass themselves. The first teacher day in our school is Wednesday, August 22 so my summer is almost up. Students start on August 27. I've been really anxious the last few mornings and have listened to the relaxation tape and that seems to help somewhat. I've also been keeping busy and that seems to keep my mind off school. I spent an hour at school today preparing and have found that if I do that it lessens the anxiety and also I usually see a few teachers and talk, which makes me feel better. The move went well, but Madison is a rat race as all students move in and out of houses on the same days. It is narrow streets crowded with u haul after u haul and garbage on top of garbage, but we got it done for another year. My anxiety is caused by a fear of other people judging me. It started when I was 7 and I had numerous panic attacks in church and had to walk out part way through the service. I have a very difficult time going to church, which makes me feel bad, because I was brought up in a very religious family and we went to church every sunday. The only time I go now is when my kids have programs or special events and these things cause me weeks of anticipitory anxiety. It is my goal this year to start attending church on a regular basis. Wish me luck. I also have alot of anxiety when other teachers or the principal comes into my classroom as I feel that they are judging me and criticizing me behind my back. Even when a visiting student comes into my classroom, I feel that way. When we have teachers meeting I feel okay if I get in a group and join the conversation right away. If I don't I feel out of the loop and my anxiety grows to the point of a panic attack. I even get nervous when I am driving if someone is following me for a long time because I think they are judging my driving. I also have what my friends call stage fright and can not go to the bathroom if someone else is around. In public bathrooms I always use the stall and never the urinal. Sorry, this is probably more than you wanted to know! In the past few years my wife has helped me to do things that I avoided for years. I never went out to eat and now I love to go out to eat. I have actually went to several parties though with alot of anticipitory anxiety. I avoided movies and now we go to lots of movies. I feel like I am making progress, but still have a long ways to go. I was so bad for a while that I got nervous going through drive up windows for fast food, etc. but am okay with that now. Sometimes it amazes me that I have been able to put up with all this anxiety for all of these years and continue to teach. Enough of my rambling. Have you told anyone about your anxiety other than your wife? I have not. Sometimes I feel like telling the whole world and getting it off of my chest. I am scared that they will think I'm a fool. I would like to get your e mail address sometime, but don't know how to go about doing it. I don't really want to put mine on here as this is accessible to so many people and you probably feel the same way. Any ideas? I guess that really contradicts what I said a few sentences back, but I am a very private person. I hope to hear back from you again. Sorry for the long message.

Dan O

Dan O,

Great to hear back from you! I was thinking the same thing about the e-mail addresses. I don't really want to put mine on this site either - Maybe we could get free e-mail addresses from hotmail and just use them - so what if other people get them. Anyway, it sounds like you are making a lot of progress with your anxiety - good for you! About church - I too was brought up in a religious family and avoid going with my parents, etc. to church because having to sit with them and stay is difficult. My brother is getting married this year and I am the best man - I am scared to death of being in front of all of those people. We also are to be sponsors of a niece or nephew in October - I dread it as well. It sure stinks to have what should be fun times ruined by this condition - it gets quite depressing at times. What worries you about church? I had to leave church once this past year - it wasn't fun, but I guess no one thought twice about it. I hope you are able to achieve your goal. You sound like a nice person with good morals - consider...what if people are admiring you instead of judging you! Just a positive thought! I too have a concern about being judged - I am very sensitive to criticism as my family gave a lot of it to me growing up. My mom and dad are both workaholics and expected a lot from us kids. It seems like you are never able to do enough to please them. I had to laugh about the stage fright thing because my brother and I both joke about how we have that too! I think it is a very common problem. We always use the stalls too. We joke about how we get up to the urinal and someone walks in and gets in line behind us and so we pretend to be going even though we can't! Oh well. I enjoy reading your posts - keep up with your improvements and stay positive - I'll try to do the same. Take care -

Rip12

Hi Dan O,
It sounds like you are starting to feel a bit better! This is wonderful. Be Proud!
I think that it is great that you are going into the school early to prepare for your classes. I am sure this will ease some of the anxiety for you.

I understand Your fear of meetings. I would almost be sick to my stomach when I had to attend conferences, seminars and just staff meetings. I hated it when my boss would stand over me when I was trying to do my job. I would get so nervous. I seem to have trouble with people of authority for some reason. When I had to give a presentation I would spend days and sometimes weeks worrying about it. I would get physically sick.

I have found the skills to have been of great help in dealing with stressful situations. Although, I still must 'practice' on a daily basis. I have been off work for quite sometime due to a serious illness and I know that when I do return to work -- that it will be tough.

Good Luck next week -- when you return to school. I am happy that things seem to be improving for you!! God Bless!

Lora

DanO

While huddled in a group of five teachers (I'm a parent volunteer and do contract work for the school [computer related] ) recently, EVERY ONE of them said they had panic attacks of some sort or another. I think you would be surprised to know who around you feels the same way.

A college professor of mine told me that during the first class each sememster he feels nervous, too. I was surprised since I thought I was the only one.

What you describe happening to you just prior to the school year happens to me before any plans I make. Dinner out with friends, a trip, a coffee at my home, taking on a new job, etc.

It is one of the symptoms that I am still working on.

I do not go back to college because I can't imagine that anxiety the first few classes.

I hate to say yes to a new job for fear that I will get that panicky feeling there.

I could sub everyday if I wanted to but I worry, "What if I have a panick attack in front of the kids? What if I get a migraine and have to leave? I will let everyone down."

I really finally like to fly, however, sitting and waiting in the airport drives me nuts and my anxiety goes through the roof.

Though, I am SO MUCH BETTER since working the program I can see I still have another year of work and experience to do before I think I can make commitments without worrying about them.

I do beleive and know I will get better. I look at where I was in October when I purchased the program and I have come a long way.

I know my strengths and limitations.

I think my limitations are my weaknesses. When I feel good I tend to overdo it and stop eating right, exercising, and staying on a good sleep schedule. Then I get anxious and it takes me about 3-5 days to back on track.

It is a vicous cycle I think is very similar to any kind of addict.
------------------
Always Hopeful, Betsy H.
Marietta, GA (East Cobb)

[This message has been edited by EastCobbGABetsyH (edited 08-18-2001).]

Rip 12,

I appreciate your quick reply. It is nice to have someone to air these things with that is so similar to me. I am starting to feel like I am not alone. I know the feeling about being nervous about your brother's wedding and being best man, I went through a number of those when I was in my late 20s and early 30s. I was best man at a friend's wedding and his mother asked me to stand up and make a toast and I thought it was going to kill me. The toast went okay and I ended up having a fun time, but the anticipitory anxiety was terrible. I know that everything will go well for you and I really feel for the agony that this condition causes for you. I completely understand the way you feel about being a sponsor, too as I have done that 3 times and each time I was very nervous. As you said, this condition really takes the fun out of things that should be fun. I am confident that you and I will overcome this thing. For me, it helps so much to discuss my difficulties as I have kept them bottled up for so many years. Just like you I have found it very difficult to please my parents over the years. They have a way of talking highly of my brother and sisters to me, but never telling me that they are proud of what I do. The program has made me see that I don't have to look for outside sources to validate my accomplishments and that is exactly what I have been doing for all these years. It's hard to break old habits, but this is one I am trying hard to break. Deep in my heart, I know that my parents are proud of me whether they tell me or not. I am also sure that your parents are proud of you as well. You have so much to be proud of, a teacher working towards his masters degree. I have always wanted to do that, but I take the minimum number of credits to get reliscenced because I get so nervous about taking the classes and having to face new people. I have had several panic attacks during these classes. How do you do it? Well, I better call it quits for now, but look forward to hearing from you again. Good luck on the wedding and baptism and enjoy the rest of your vacation.

Dan O