I've been in the program for 14 weeks now. I've done better than I would have first thought. Although...I guess I'm having one of those down days. I keep what if'ing my self to death. First, my boyfriend and I are on/off again. He is very dedicated to his career and seems like he only wants me around when it is convient for him. He is leaving for 3 weeks to work out of town and I'm petrified that he will find someone else and forget about me. Is that wrong to feel that way?
On top of that feeling, I feel like I am going to end up alone for the rest of my life. I've never been married and have no children. And I want both so badly every time I see some "happy couple" I feel myself diving into the depth of darkness. Not to mention I become jealous because they have what I want.
Any suggestions on what I could do to get away from the what if'ing and find my way back to the surface?

Thanks for reading.

With problems in life we have to trust ourselves to handle them. That we can take it.

On Dr. Phil he talks about that sometimes. He says to some of his guests, "Yes, your husband may leave you" or "You might go through life without children",(because there are no guarantees) and 'if that's the case, you have to not put your trust so much in other people, but to trust yourself to handle the things that other people may throw your way.'

And to me that makes sense. I always thought I would have to trust people not to cheat me or not to be rude to me or walk all over me, but now I think that "that's not the real world". I have to trust myself to handle those situations because people will try and take advantage of us if we let them.
But it's not an easy thing to do.

I never though of it that way. I always thought that I was the type of person that made other people earn their trust. But it now seems to me that I'm just the opposit of that.

Thank you for your help and direction. I will hang on to that.