I have a big problem. A friend of mine is really having a tough time with "what if" feelings. She says that it has completely taken over her life--has a hard time leaving her house anymore. She is having thoughts of hurting herself or others. I can relate to her; I used to really obsess about these type things too. Like when I was supposed to get my drivers license, I was so afraid that I'd drive my car into on coming traffic. Of course, I never wanted to hurt anyone, but it was like something in my head was telling me to do it. Can anyone else relate? I need to hear as many stories as possible so I can read them to her and let her know she's not alone. I know that if I could show her that we all have these scary thoughts, that she'd stop panicking and that alone will help those thoughts fade away. She's planning on seeing a doctor to discuss these things with him. She's just so afraid that she's losing her mind. I keep trying to tell her that it's "normal" (within reason) and common among people who suffer with OCD and panic attacks. She's just the sweetest person in the world and I want to give her the best advice. So, please reply and tell me some of the 'what if' feelings and thoughts you have. Does anyone else get thoughts of hurting themselves or others? Does anyone else fear they have schizophrenia or bi-polar disorder? How do you cope with them? What are some of your relaxation techniques? She's so scared that she can't leave her home or even take care of her family right now. I know the stress of all that only complicates these obssessive thoughts. Please reply!!! The more stories I can tell her the more normal she'll begin to feel. Thanks for the help!

mimi

quote:

Originally posted by mimi:
I have a big problem. A friend of mine is really having a tough time with "what if" feelings. She says that it has completely taken over her life--has a hard time leaving her house anymore. She is having thoughts of hurting herself or others. I can relate to her; I used to really obsess about these type things too. Like when I was supposed to get my drivers license, I was so afraid that I'd drive my car into on coming traffic. Of course, I never wanted to hurt anyone, but it was like something in my head was telling me to do it. Can anyone else relate? I need to hear as many stories as possible so I can read them to her and let her know she's not alone. I know that if I could show her that we all have these scary thoughts, that she'd stop panicking and that alone will help those thoughts fade away. She's planning on seeing a doctor to discuss these things with him. She's just so afraid that she's losing her mind. I keep trying to tell her that it's "normal" (within reason) and common among people who suffer with OCD and panic attacks. She's just the sweetest person in the world and I want to give her the best advice. So, please reply and tell me some of the 'what if' feelings and thoughts you have. Does anyone else get thoughts of hurting themselves or others? Does anyone else fear they have schizophrenia or bi-polar disorder? How do you cope with them? What are some of your relaxation techniques? She's so scared that she can't leave her home or even take care of her family right now. I know the stress of all that only complicates these obssessive thoughts. Please reply!!! The more stories I can tell her the more normal she'll begin to feel. Thanks for the help!

mimi

Mimi,
I just wanted to tell you that first of all I think you are wonderful for caring so about your friend. That will help her alot.
I have also had alot of those dreadfull thoughts and fears you spoke of. Except mine were of my children and doing them harm. Not by my choice but of some controlling force. The same force that was making me lose control of my life. I only recentley learned of this program and have just recieved the free tape and it has made a dramatic difference in the last 2 days of my life. I learned that there are others out there who have the same problems as I do! To not be alone or the only one is a tremendous boost to feeling better. I unfortunately cant offer any technic's to immediately help. But I can tell her that SHE IS NOT ALONE. One of the things that is said on the free tape was that the reason our minds cause us to think of this stuff is to distract us from the real cause of our anxiety. That to me was a great relief and I immediately was able to start to see some underlying issues and tried to unfold these issues. I hope that I have been of some help, Please stay with your friend no matter what, You will make a difference to her and help her through this scary time.

PAGE

[This message has been edited by page (edited 08-07-2001).]

I really feel for each and every person that I find that has this problem. First, tell her she is not alone and second, tell her about this program and website. She will have to work to fix herself and you can only lead her to something that can help. Obviously talking about these things can help her but don't get into the position of trying to fix her yourself. It will drain you and your focus will be on her and not on your own healing. I just want you to get better as well as your friend. Send her over. We're here.
Reena

I had all kinds of scary thoughts and I thought I was going crazy when my anxiety was real high. My main ones had to do with driving. What if I can't keep my foot on the break at this light and I just drive into traffic head on? What if I were to just steer my car over this bridge? What if I were to suddenly lose control and drive into oncoming traffic? Ughghgh! Oh YEAH! Remember those thoughts well. I was always afraid I would "lose control." But I NEVER did. These thoughts are symptoms of anxiety and nothing more. When I learned all the great techniques here, exercise, etc. the anxiety got better and the thoughts stopped! That is a FACT. They will. You have to take real good care of yourself, and reduce the stressors in your life. Some suggestions... exercise or talk long walks as often as you can every week, take B complex and a multi-vitamin everyday, eat healthy, get plenty of sleep, try a meditation/yoga tape, practice deep breathing, cut out caffiene and sugar, write down your negative/ scary thoughts everyday and spend some time replacing them with positive ones, and do one small thing to pamper yourself everyday.

JBean

[This message has been edited by JBean64 (edited 08-09-2001).]

Thank you all so much for your replies. I feel so terrible for her; these thoughts are completly consuming her. She is such a sweet person! It just breaks my heart... However, it will help her to know other people feel this way, especially Page because one of her biggest threats is that she will hurt her child. Since I'm not a mother myself, I couldn't give her the reassurance she needed. THis will help tremendously. I can't wait until she reads your stories--the funny thing is that I met her through the forum. She was having a bad night, and we ended up talking on the phone for hours! And even though I don't know her that well, the forum is so personal that I love her already! Worrisome24/7, cheer up!

mimi

JBean64-
Just a note to say..."whew". I feel so much better that I'm not the only one with driving fears. I thought for sure I was nut-so. I love it that I'm not alone!

mimi