Just wanted to share a little story that happened the other day. I was out shopping for a couple of items which I held in my hands. After waiting in a long line, I lifted my items up to show the cashier that I only had 2 items so that she wouldn't mix them up with the ones another customer had, that's all. Her body language and little response indicated that she thought I was being pushy and impatient [ which was very much NOT the case.] Then I discovered the price was not what I thought it was. She just looked at me and said nothing. I walked out of line and took care of the problem myself. This time, I got into a different line. This line was also long, but I distracted myself with a mother holding a cute baby behind me and remained pleasant. I get up to the cashier, and she looks at me and in front of the line says '' YOU JUST CUT IN FRONT OF HER !'' I was shocked especially since this was NOT TRUE. I turned around to the mother with the baby and asked her if she agreed with this, and she didn't of course. And then the cashier [ if I remember right ] REPEATS the statement a SECOND time ! What is up with THAT ? I was thinking about writing a letter to the store manager about the rudeness of these 2 girls [ although I don't know their names ]but just so they can address the need of better customer service skills to the employees. Or should I just forget about it ?

I really think you should say something to the store mannager. That is totally un-called for! Those cashiers need to be polite to their customers or eles not be in that sort of position.
You did not deserve to be treated so disrespectful and you should stand up for yourself!
Just to tell you a little story about how I used assertive behavier. A telephone conversation, the women on the other end of the line was treating me very inferior of her, and I politely said "ma'm, you are being very rude to me, and for no reason. I am being very polite to you" And that turned her attitude around and she helped me like she should've in the first place.
For your own self-respect, STAND UP FOR YOURSELF!Good Luck.

becbeliever,

What an irritating experience - bet you won't bother to spend big money at /that/ store again.

From reading your post, though, it sounds like an assertiveness-related occurance. I'm wondering - not to belittle the frustration of it, but - if you're just giving the whole thing far too much power. These cashiers are strangers, there to shove food past a little beepy thing, get their minimum wage, and go home. To let their actions stick with you even long enough to write this post, is to give them waaay too much importance.

Part of being assertive isn't just /doing/ the right thing, but /feeling/ right about it - cheerful, confident, even amused.... a state of mind where how you feel, and react, doesn't depend on everyone else treating you right. Because they won't always. Other people can be ignorant, unthinking, or just plain having a bad day - and if you let your own mood and actions be controlled by them, you're giving away precious life time to absolute, ridiculous strangers. How silly the one with the 'just cut in' comment was. Dead wrong, but repeating herself anyway to a whole storeful of people - who knew she was wrong - anyway. You're not the one who looked foolish.

I was wondering how else it might have been handled, and this is what I came up with:

Situation 1: A cashier gave some body-language 'attitude' at a perfectly normal mistake, that happens a dozen times a day.
Your reaction: Leave the line, fix it yourself (when it's their job to help), go to a different line so as not to face her again.
Assertive reaction: 'Gee, seems the price is different than I thought.' Don't budge. Have the cashier help you sort it out - and stand right there like a cheerful lump until they do, and if they keep it up the unhelpfulness/attitude, say, politely, 'You know, I'm not really happy about how this is going. Is your manager in?'

Situation 2: A cashier makes a mistake, and acts rudely about it.
Your reaction: Feel humiliated, shocked, and wronged. Notice all the people around and worry that you are being embarrassed in front of them. Pay, leave, and still feeling bad, try to find ways to recoupe by writing to the store, etc.
Assertive reaction...

Cashier: You just cut in front of her.
You (checking behind you): I didn't. Did I, folks?
Line: Nope.
Cashier: You did.
You, pleasantly and firmly: Nice of you to look out for them, but these people say I didn't.

Pay for your stuff, and leave - and this is the important part - WITHOUT taking the issue with you. It happened, you dealt, get on with your day and your life.

Now, assume when you were pleasant and firm with that second cashier, she gave you attitude or wouldn't drop it as well. Well, then, you look her - still pleasantly - straight in the eye and say, "I don't enjoy being chided in public for something I didn't do. Is your manager in?"

Of course, the answers and exchanges are just an example - there are as many different ways to be assertive as there are people on this planet. But they do have certain things in common:

1) YOU are in control - of your emotions, your reactions, and of when and how you resolve the situation. Not the other person, not spectators, not any other imagined or real participant.

2) You feel GOOD. Just because other people are being a pain isn't a reason to ruin /your/ day. Let them wallow in their own misery, if they want that kind of life. Get what you need, handle things so you feel good about it, then walk away without looking back.

3) You feel PROUD. There's this warm, glowy feeling one gets by handling a situation well. In fact, whether the other person liked the way it went, agreed with you, hates your guts... whatever, the whole episode feels right.

Here's to not letting the idiots of the world have a single second of our lives

WayStone