I am ready to get over my timidity about confronting people and caring what they think. I have been using my self tlk to get me through some situations that intimidate me and it feels good! I had to call my dentist to deal with a charge I don't feel that I should have been charged with. I get nervous about stuff like that, esp. on the phone. Before, I started telling myself, I can do this, this is a good thing to do , I will feel so much better when I'm done,etc. I felt that I was able to get my point across without unessecary anger, and I they didn't agree with me (now I have to deal with insurance issues) but that was ok. I stood up for myself, and that's what matters. I had another situation where i said yes to something without thinking how it would affect my family, and then was dreading explaining it to my husband. I was writing about it, and realized i could take action- accepting someone elses help-- but it would make the arrangements smoother, so I did it. Then tonight a makeup sales lady called me because I'd won the drawing for a gift basket... that means "what day next week can she come to my house and try to sell me stuff". After I got off the phone I realized I don't have to do stuff like that that I don't want to, so I called her back- and i have to admit I felt nervous- and said that honestly, I didn't want the free facial, etc. didn't have time for it, and could I just pick up my free gifts. She said she'd have to call me next week, i think she was surprised, but she said she appreciated that I didn't wasnt to waste her time either. Anyway I'm starting to realize how great it feels to make my decisions, to speak up for myself, and to take some control of my life and my time. I did 3 assertive things yesterday and today, and I am going to keep track and reward myself when I get to 10. I have 2 more things coming up that I need to talk to a friend about, so that will be more practise. Does anyone else relate to this, or do you want to reward yourself for the steps your taking? This is where I'm at a year after I did the Program for the 1st time, for those of you who are new here. I'm going through it a second time. Just to say that it takes time, but it does work, and now that the overwhelming anxiety and depression is gone, I can give energy to making these changes so it won't return. see the good that can come out of a hard time? I would never have learned how to grow in these areas if not for getting so bad, then finding the program. have a good night, everyone, and hang in there, we're not alone!

To Your Health, Happiness and Success!

Thanks!

Oh Mint Flower I'm thrilled to read this post. You weren't aggressive, just assertive...a lovely quality in a man or woman. I agree with you it IS a great feeling to take control of our lives. It's really empowering and we remain true to ourselves in the end which is a great plus. I'm with Dolphin....CONGRATULATIONS..keep it up.

Hey!

Awesome! I'm proud of you. Try using you newfound assertive muscles in places wher yur risk is low. With a waiter or waitress or store clerk.

Check out: Pulling Your Own Strings by Wayne Dyer.

Best!

Darran

CONGRATULATIONS MINTFLOWER!!!
Diane

Wheeeee!!!! Way to go, MintFlower!!!

Isn't it amazing how much better we can feel when we are assertive and take care of ourselves? It is so empowering! I had a similar experience recently and I couldn't get over how wonderful I felt afterwards.

I think it is great that you are going through the program again. I found that I learned so much more the second time around. Recovery does take time and we have to keep accepting those practice opportunities. Keep moving forward -- you are doing a great job. Thanks for sharing your success with all of us. It really made me .

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Mountaingirl
come forth into the light of things ~ let nature be your teacher. William Wordsworth

[This message has been edited by mountaingirl (edited 11-15-2001).]

Mint
I am glad you lived to tell us about it!! Honesty. What a concept. Don't want the facial, can I pick up my free gift? That is awesome! Sounds like you got a life to live and you haven't got too many precious present moments to spend on things you don't really want to do anyway. Sounds like recovering your independence. Sounds good to me!

Hi, thanks for all your wonderful encouragement. I talked to my freinds about the fact that I need to do some slowing down of my schedule this next few months, meaning i wouldn't be babysitting for one of them once a week like i do now. They were great about it, but I have struggled with worry about what the one thinks of me, and the fact that she might take this personally. But I am trying to replace those thoughts with the truth. I need to do what i need to do and a good friend will want that for me as well. One of the things that's helping me with this is reminding myself how far I've come and that each step will be so rewarding in time, and become more natural.

Hi Mint Flower, it sounds like your doing great. We need to change the way we think, and we have to do things that aren't neccessarly what everyone else would do, thats because we have the right to stand up for ourselves and say how we feel.

I just wanted to put this up again, since i think this is an area a lot of us could grow in. I have been assertive with a few people in a few more situations. Sometimes it's hard to be assertive with my kids- making them do their chores, etc. But at least i am aware of it now. I have realized by my experiences that i always think I have to make everyone else's life easier, keep them happy at my expense. i'm not doing that much anymore, and you know what- all my friends and family are just fine, thay are solving their own problems and it is such a good feeling. This is a good time to practise saying no during the holiday season. Thanks all for your support.