I recently started a new job. I am a nurse. I worked at my last job for 7 years in ICU. My new job is working in a dialysis center. I have to go through a lot of training and classroom before I can be on my own. Right now, I am just mostly observing and helping where I am allowed to. MY problem: The nurses who are responsible for my training don't take the time to explain things to me as we go along. They do things so fast, that I can't hardly see what they are doing. There is one imparticular who tries to show her authority,(lots of nurses have the power problem), and she made a comment in front of a lot of people on the floor the other day. I looked at the patient and said"I guess I can't do that. They haven't showed me how to tear tape yet!). She gave me a dirty look, but the patient and me got a big kick out of it. I don't want to make enemies with anyone especially on a new job, but I don't aim to be the center of criticism either. I can take constructive criticism, especially where patients are concerned, because their well-being must come first. Tell me, have any of you ever had to make waves so to speak on a new job. I mean, I feel I will be an asset on this job. I am not perfect, but I am pretty good at what I do. Especially communicating with people. I try to get to know my patients. I share my life with them, and I try not to speak above them. I always hated it when I was younger when I would go the the hospital or doctor and they would use terms that were way over my head. So I guess my goal for this week is to ask for what I need in a constructive, courteous manner without offending anyone. Sounds good don't it? Well we'll see if I can follow through. Wish me luck all. Annette

Hi Annette,

Practicing assertiveness is positively no more risky than continuing to vent thoughts and feelings through sarcasm. Sarcasm is just another negative way to fuel more anxiety-panic-depression.

From what you�ve written here, I trust you know enough from the program how to go about the practice of positively asserting your self. Just try remembering the intent is to simply assert thoughts and feelings, not to �win.� Don�t be fooled into thinking nothing is changed if you don�t get everything you expected after asserting your self. You will always get more clarity and peace of mind just from this direct exchange. We cannot control the reactions of others and they are no more perfect than we are.

Expect anytime after asserting your self that you may wonder, �what if it had been done differently, better, more perfectly?� Trust that you will learn enough from the experience that you will naturally tweak the way it�s practiced in the future without needing to over-analyze it now.

When that �what if� pops up, just stop it.

This is an opportunity to practice assertiveness, not kicking your self.



[This message has been edited by Dolphin (edited 11-18-2001).]

Thanks Dolphin. I guess I need to stop second guessing myself. I am learning from this program that self-esteem is probably the core issue for me. I always think that if I assert myself I will make people not like me. One thing I know is that now everyone will like everyone. So I am going to ask questions and simply ask them to slow down when I need them to and explain things to me. The worst thing that can happen is that they will tell me that can't slow down. But I will ask them to go back and explain things to me when they do have time. Does that sound like a good plan? Again, thanks.

That is good Annette! That is what I do each day I don't know how to do something...I just ask. I have been at my job now for 5 mos and I still am ALWAYS asking questions. I think they like it though...it shows that you WANT to learn...well at least where i work. Anyway, keep up the good, hard work!
Cindy

Dear Annette,

I can totally relate to what you are going thru. I'm on my fifth week of my new job. I came home last night after work in tears. My brain has been on overload due to what I think is lack of poor management that leads down to poor training. I have been told by threee different people how to do things the "proper" way!

Yes, I did assert myself last week and went to the supervisor. I have learned to start with something positive. For instance, I just want to let you know how much I like this position.(I really do)! I am frustrated in some of my training tho as I am being told things differently and it is slowing me down to where I cannot perform my job efficiently. Nothing has really changed except I feel better venting and sticking up for myself!

I had this two day training class where the first day I tried to take notes. Ha! This woman talked a mile a minute! The next day I was prepared with a tape recorder...It saved me!

I think you have an excellent goal! Ask away! Again and again! You sound like an great nurse! With all new jobs, I think these are common quirks that in time will pass.

Best of luck!
Diane

Thanks Diane. You're right about the poor management part. Today in the break room, she was totally involved in raw gossip about some of the new employees. I was very uncomfortable. I made as few comments as possible. The people they were criticizing were new too. I think that they have forgotten what it feels like to be new. I think I am going to like this job once I get situated, but I am going to have to insist on better training. Next week, I have to go to the main dialysis center for classroom. If given the chance, I plan to make a few suggestions on a better preceptor program. First of all, with nursing, you should be with one preceptor and one only during your entire time of training. That avoids what you were talking about with getting so many different instructions on how things should be done. I think I have it down, and then someone else has me for the day, and they totally confuse me. I will say this though. Once I am on my own, I will do things the way I want to. As a nurse, I have a pretty strong personality when I need to. Right now, I am still trying to feel my way. I can already see that I am going to be the object of gossip like the others. That's why I've decided to keep my opinions to myself, because I don't want to get caught up in all of that. Thanks for letting me vent.

hi Annette,
I think that most of us have had problems with co-workers at one point in time or another. I think that it's great that your setting goals on how you can make the training process easier. As far as the other nurses, it sounds like they were a little out of place by talking gossip about the new employees, i'm sure they wouldn't like to be talked about either. Also keep in mind, that your new on the job, and they have to deal with the stress of training new employees and doing their job, and you have to deal with fitting in and learning a new job and procedures, so the situtation is a little stressful for everyone, all you can do is try to cope and it should be easier for you. I think that your right in that you should learn to be less affected be external situations, but also too, this is very difficult to learn, and although we get better, it is a learned trait, and we can't always help getting a little anxious, but we can help letting it get out of control and doing things to help us in the future.

As far as particular nurses that bother you, i'd suggest that you try and befriend them if at all possible. I have a lady at work that is very aggressive and she's like that towards everyone, i realize that more now, but basically, i decided that even though she wasn't right for the way she acted, the chances of her getting fired or me or her changing were very slim. So what i did, was i set a goal, i decided to say hi to her everyday until she finally accepted me more, and i found myself asking her how she was doing too. The result now is she respects me a lot more, because i'm someone that encourages her, which i'm sure she appreciates, and even though i don't talk to her much, she thinks more when she acts aggressive to me, and if she does and i have to say something, i expect her to be more understanding, than just coming out of the blue and making the relationship totally negative. Sorry about the wordy post, sometimes i write a lot. *shrugs

-Mike