I think this lesson is one of the hardest so far. I scored in the "wimp" category in the workbook. The only time I get assertive is when I fly into a rage (which I have to admit happens all to often). Some people intimidate me but I would have to say that overall I am not afraid of people. I just feel extremely socially awkward.

nikki






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And Jesus was a sailor when he walked upon the water .... and when he knew for certain only drowning men could see him, he said all men will be sailors then, until the sea shall free them.

just start doing it at your own comfort level, and even move out of that every now and then. being assertive isn't about beating yourself up to do something your not even sure if you want to do. To me, being assertive means saying how you feel, either because you want to share your feelings, or you want to tell someone that something they're doing is bothering you. It takes time but if you try you'll get there. ANother important thing too is expectations, not everyone is going to react the way you want them to, and you have to try and look at it like how you can potray yourself from your side. Being around people that allow you to assert yourself is good, but sometimes you need to stick your foot in the door and let them know your there.

Hi Nicholedale,
I can really relate with your post. I have a terrible time asserting myself with strangers and some family memebers, and I find that when I'am trying to make a point I get frustrated and angry and blow up!! I really need alot of work in this area
I have a hard time saying how I feel to my sister, she is 10 years older than me and I feel that I can't tell her how I feel when she says something that hurts my feelings because she has threatened suicide in the past when I did say something I needed to. I feel like I let her walk all over me and it is painful....I don't think it is a very honest relationship.
Also I feel very awkward socially too, I have never really felt like I 'fit' in. It makes it so hard to be in a social situation with anxiety and an inferiority complex!
I'am trying to do what my counselor says "no one is thinking of you...they are thinking of their hemmroids" I try and think of this often because it makes me realize that no one really cares if I'am nervous or a little awkward, they are thinking of their own stuff!!
Have a good night,