hi there. i have a question about how to be assertive at work. there is a co-worker who is very high-strung, i suspect anxious herself, who, everytime she comes into work, gives me the feeling that i'm not doing my job. she comes in and flies around like superwoman, constantly busying herself with a lot of things that really don't need done. and she acts pissed off like she's the only one who does anything. myself, being sensitive as it is, feels like she's aiming all of this at me. today, for instance, when she came in, i went on my lunch break and when i came back, she told me in her haughty voice that 'all the rooms need stocked' (i work at an urgent care facility as an MA). the day before that she asked me in her authoritative voice if i had done something--basically indirectly telling me what to do. although she is an MA like me, she is old enough to be my mother and she is a bossy person. i am tired of this! I do a good job and don't get myself all bent out of shape because i'm not doing something every minute of the day. compared to her, this makes me feel like i'm incompetent. hard to work with her. right now i am only on week four of the program. i am also currently adjusting to a decrease in dosage of my antidepressant medication. what can i say to this woman to stand up for myself, be more assertive, so that she will leave me alone? I have thought that i would focus on myself and tell her that i feel she thinks i'm not doing my job, and see what she says. then just stand up for myself and say that i think i do a good job, that i cannot be like her, i am NOT her. what should I do?

Your idea of how to handle it was good. You could do that, or you could have a talk with your boss and tell him or her the situation. Ask your boss if he or she feels that what you are or aren't doing [ explain to him or her ] is ok. Be totally honest. If your boss says that it's ok, then know that inside, and IGNORE your co-worker, being confident in yourself. If ignoring her doesn't work, tell her that you already talked to the boss and got things put in the right perspective. No one can intimidate you unless you let them. I know this personally, been thru it !