To me, one important aspect of being assertive is properly picking and choosing your battles. Sometimes i can have 2 different people say the same thing to me at different times, and in one case, I get very upset, and the other, it doesn;t really bother me. Maybe it is my relationship with the person, my state of mind, or something else. But to me a key is knowing if you are under attack. If so, then be assertive. if not, maybe we should ask ourselves if it is really worth being assertive in this case. But we have to be careful to be honest with ourselves.

There have been times in my life where I was "attacked" by someone and I chose not to confront them. In some cases, these people continue to attack me later, at which point I was assertive. But in some cases, the "attack" is just a misunderstanding on my part. Maybe the other person just had a bad day and are taking it out on me. If I was assertive everytime someone treated me "badly" (as I define it), then I'd spend so much time being assertive that I wouldn't have time for anything else.

To sum up what I'm trying to say. There are certain people in my life who I am on guard for. These are people who I know I need to be assertive around. I really don't worry too much about the other people.

Any thoughts, anyone? Thanks

We do usually get to pick our battles I have a daily one myself, its what some people call the TOXIC people of our lives, whether we live with them or Work with them. I myself am speaking up more at the time of that person letting in on me.I don't mean to argue, but I now let him know at that time what he is doing, other wise he will keep stepping on me, like a door mat. Its not easy he does get angry and turn the situation around on me, but he is getting the point I am tired of the hassle. I believe it will get better, as long as there is no voleince. speak your mind in courtous but firm manner, you must let your voice be heard. I hope this helps.