Before getting the program, I had no idea that I had a panic disorder. I just thought I had "episodes" and that that was my life. Little by little, these "episodes" began to descend on me and my life was being chipped away--little by little.

Now that I am on the program I'm slowly working out the kinks. As I see it, the only consolation to having panic disorder is knowing my mind, better yet, that I am truly powerful in manifesting. The mastery lies in turning my thoughts and,therefore, manifestions into more positive experiences. I'm glad to say that I'm seeing and experiencing life with more grace. At any rate, I'm learning to un-learn all of my acquired behavior and thinking that lead me to my diagnosis.

It may not be appropriate for everyone to disclose their health issues to practical strangers but I have been faced with such occurences where I just needed to assert myself in admitting it to others as well as myself.

For example, my career path is in being a teacher and part of my anxiety lays in being held up in a classroom for hours with "what if" thoughts. One way for me to acclimate myself was to sit in on other teachers while class was in session. I arrived at the high school but I had not entered into the classroom. Prior to me entering the classroom, I felt the need to communicate about my panic disorder to the principal. Mind you, it was a watershedding moment and my tears could not be stopped. His compassion was appreciated and he said that I could come in whenever to audit a class. Moments later, I walked to the classroom with him and the students were working in their textbooks. I had apparently walked in the wrong day. The teacher and I exchanged a few words and I was frank about my concerns. I told her that I felt competent about teaching but that my issue was in finally overcoming my panic disorder. She looked at me, paused, and said, "I was diagnosed with panic disorder too. Actually, that was years ago when I was in college."

I came back the next day and stayed in the classroom for a two hour block. Before I left, I saw the principal that day. I thanked him and told him it had gone well.

Hey Jen!!
Congrats! I think disclosing the fact the one may experience panic at times really alleviates the pressure of trying not to have panic! I commend your effort for facing your fear and acclimating yourself. It's important that we (people with anxiety) be gentle to ourselves-we have been hard on ourselves way too long....

Congrats again and you'll be a fine teacher....

Peacewithin-

Thank you for your encouraging words.
Although it has been a while since I posted my string, I wanted to acknowledge you for your response.

Thanks again!
Jen

I too am trying to land a job as a teacher and while subbing I have had major panic attacks and totally thought I would loose control. There was one day when a child on the playground fell and had a spinal injury and my entire classes of 2nd graders were hysterical and so was I inside. I was externally able to hide my fears by I really thought I was going to stop breathing and pass now. I think I need to be brave like you and confess my anxiety to others.

I told my friend of 6 or more years for the first time about my anxiety and depression. It was over instant messaging, but it was easier that way. It was a relief to not try to hide it all of the time. That is one more person for support (yes i know, "i am my own strong person...").