Well, I just have to share this because, well, that's why we have this forum, right? Anyway I slept in this morning, as I do when I don't want to deal with life, and so when I woke up I did the relaxation tape and listened to session 2. Having lots going on in my mind, I decided to donate today to myself and going on line and doing the guide book, but just taking care of myself FIRST today,and I am telling you it is scaring the ___ out of me. Even just sitting here typing this I am almost in tears. Some happy, some scared. I just get so happy to be alive sometimes, so blessed with all I have, I just want to jump and scream and shout. But then the anxiety with it. Sometimes being afraid that the good times will leave too soon that they never stay good for long and anticipating the sad end. Stuff to think about, I do wonder how much of this stuff is from my dad being grumpy as a kid, I don't remember but my siblings have mentioned it and I do know my was of coping was to be the "good girl" so everybody would be happy. So, anyway that's that. Love to all. Thanks so much for listening