I only have full blown panic attacks every once in awhile, and they are usually brought on by something specific. I feel like they are strongly tied to my depression...I can't even use the breathing techniques or the six step techniques because I think I subconsciously feel that I deserve to panic and suffer. I don't know what to do.

I am with you 100%. I have never discussed the attacks with anyone. I honestly did not know they were panic attacks.
I simply thought it was my fault and I deserved it.
I have never had the coping skills I have admired in others.
To read your posting breaks my heart.
It is easier for me to recognize how absurd and absolutely impossible it is for you to deserve these feelings. For you or I to actually deserve to endure these feelings.
You used the word suffer. This word is a very powerful word to me.
I too have felt like I deserved to suffer.This suffering is always what has brought me to the crossroad each time I have wanted to commit suicide.It is so deeply painful. The only time I have tried to explain it is calling a suicide hotline once.I suppose it is underneath all the depression in my case, manic depression.Without medication I surely would have killed myself somehow.
I didn't mean to get off on me but I really wanted you to know that I understand.
You must keep talking, writing, e-mailing. Here is my personal e-mail. Please please please use it anytime.
I am in a difficult spot BUT I have come from hell and I do have periods of relief & hope. I have enough HOPE FOR YOU TOO. I will hold it for you.
You are learning and growing. You need this information but it will be very painful to practice. But that is why there is this web site for support. It is almost like I have come to your home to share your burden with you.
Please e-mail everyday if you can. Please tell me your first name. Susie susiewrenn@yahoo.com

Gabba, I wish I could talk to you right now face to face. I want to know who or what makes you think that you deserve the panic attacks! Is it parents, peers? neighbors? religion? I am willing to exchange messages with you and maybe help you in these areas because I too suffered the panic attacks, kept myself in a self made mental prison and I thought I suffered them because I had done something wrong and deserved them. Dang I know better than that now!
Please private message me if you want to discuss this further. Don't post to me here because I never check back on the many-many posts I make.


Rod

Gabba,

I have had panic attacks too; I usually get them at night, and they wake me up. What I have learned is to distract myself. I pick up a good book, and read it until I fall asleep again.

Try distracting yourself by counting backwards from 100, or focusing on something else. Find a good mental technique that works for you.

You are not alone. Let me know if I can help.