I got my CD's on November 21, but am really slow at signing in.

I ordered the tapes because during the last 6 months I noticed some weird changes in me. I would get panicky when I would have to drive or ride with others. I would have really low moods. I also just wanted to stay in bed and go to sleep. In fact when I got down I would immediately get sleepy and I couldn't wait to go to sleep.

Then three of my children left home in the last 6 months and 1 moved to Japan , one married, and one joined the Air Force. I still have an active high school student at home, but it feels like a very empty nest. I am also in college and this has been the worst semester I have ever had. The stress of all these things sent me into depression and panic attacks. I didn't even know that was what I was having. I just didn't want to do anything. I couldn't wash the clothes, cook, pay bills or smile. I feel like I will never be the the active person I was before. Sometimes I just want to go to sleep and never wake up.

I ordered the tapes and have been listening. I have been trying very hard to do the relaxation tape at least once a day if not twice. I started taking the vitamins and have listened to up to lesson 3. I have "good" days and "bad" days. The tapes seemed to be helping and then today I had a really bad day. I forgot my vitamin last night and one of my children lost their job. I am hoping that is why the change. I know the tapes say we will have anxious moments, but I am so afraid of not ever getting better. I am looking forward to getting better and would love someone to check in with. I am trying to remember this is all one day at a time.

Snow, you have had so many major life changes! Be kind to yourself, of course you have anxiety now!! I have good days and bad, too, but the tapes are helping me to see how my negative thinking patterns cause my feelings of anxiety. Keep going, I am hopeful that we will all get better. Be sure to eat well, get sleep, do some things just for you, because you deserve to. Feel free to check in with me if you like.

A lot of people fear that this will take over thier lives and they will never get better but its not true. That is only a fear and you will and can make a full recovery. This is only anxiety and if you continue to go with the program and change your negative thinking around you will do great! Thinking you will never get back to yourself is a negative thought and you can say this to yourself..."This is just anxiety and I am doing everything I can to turn my thoughts around and this does take time and a lot of work I know i will have good days and bad days but its all a part of this process." Best of luck to you and your children.

~Erin ~ You don't drown by falling in the water, you drown by staying there.