Has anyone felt like this?

This isn't the specific thing that I've been scared to end, however I can relate anyway.

The panic attacks can almost become part of our personality to the point that they are a convenient excuse not to do a particular thing. So, it's like I don't want to give up that excuse.

WOW AURA what you just said in your post actually scares the crap out of me. That realy gives me something to think about. Funny if that would of come from therapist or a family member I would of bit there head off. Thank you aura!!! (AGT)

Hello everyone,

I don't know why I haven't tried to work with the panic attacks in the past. Last year I ordered the program and did my best to commit to it; however, I allowed my anxiety and depression to get the best of me. As I look back now I am amazed at how much time I wasted feeling sorry for myself and hiding from the problem. I just started session 2 today and I'm looking forward to working through the program. I am working with a therapist now at my university so I'm hoping that will give me some added motivation. I look forward to getting to know some of you better.

regards,

ben

Ben,

greetings to my northern neighbor in Ontario.

Ben, anxiety is such a slippery thing to deal with. I remember back when i was experiencing horrible panic attacks this past march and april, and meeting with my doctor to describe the feeling.

i can remember stating that it felt like the toughest wrestling match of my life; "it knows my weaknesses, it knows my "achilles heal", it knows my strengths and tendencies".

the opponent is me.

WE are our anxiety and depression.

I talked with my counselor about this today, and we agreed that you can allow anxiety to win, or you can give yourself permission to be in control.

so you didn't commit to the program in the past. no big deal. don't beat yourself up. tommorrow is another day, a new day. A chance to start over.

And, i must say that I love the Nike adage...just DO IT!!

Before I started Session 2, I thought that it wouldn't be much help because I haven't had a panic attack since 2004, but then after getting into session two, I learned that I have small attacks everytime I leave the house to do something "new" i.e. going to a different gas station, a different resturant, a new pediatrician for my son etc. It wasn't until I excused myself during my son's doctor visit and went to the bathroom and saw myself trembling in the bathroom mirror and sweating profusely that I realized that I have small panic attacks moreso than I would like to admit or rather, more than I even knew.

I think the fear of ending the panic attacks is tied to our high expectations, at least for me it is. I fear that if I don't have the panic attacks then I will be thrust into doing more. But I forget that if I am doing more, it will be because I have the tools and the coping skills that will make it easier to do more. That fear that I have about doing more is tied to an aspect of my anxiety that I pray will be eleviated as I continue through the program.

The high expectations is the killer for me.

-Sharell

I remember when I first started to get panic attacks I thought that if I didn't stress my heart they would go away. So I stopped doing anything active and cut a lot of activities I really enjoyed out of my life. It is true that we make our worlds smaller...I remember that I went form full-time worker/student/mother/soccer coach//church committees/cub scout mom/ and anything else thrown my way ( I could never say no) to now. All I do now is be a stay at home mom. I get out to do errands a couple times a week. ANd walk my daughter to the park sometimes. Other than that I am home bound and I feel as though I don't apply my self as much as I used to. OH and let me not forget that I have pretty much no social life!

I'm checking in for first time - my panic is caused by possible reactions to prescribed medicines which have been very bad. I had major colon surgery about two months ago which went well. After that and up to now, I have health things happen (keeping in mind I have always been healthy). Would go to see doctor, been given prescription and got bad reaction to it. Yes, there are other things too causing the panic. Have had numerous panic attacks since release from hospital as it scares me to take any more prescription medicines as to their outcome. Don't know if anyone has had this problem or not.

rosef - The panic and anxiety become so much a part of who we believe we are that ending these is almost like an identity crises. Who are we if don't panic?? I experienced this the first time going thru the program when my anxiety subsided so much I didn't recognize myself. I was not used to not having all that anxiety and it felt strange. Well now I wouldn't trade that anxiety for my new calmness for anything! I saw the price I was paying for keeping the anxiety around and it was not pretty. I'm not sure if you are actively working this program but session 12 on resistance to change is an eye opener, and one that I think could give you some help.

So much of what is said is sooooooo true!
When living with the panic and anxiety you can't imagine doing half the stuff you would if you didn't have it....it's the fear stopping you. Alleviate the fear and your options are endless!
I personally have a trip coming up in the next couple months than i've been TERRIFIED to take. I'm bound and determined to do it because it KNow it's only fear that's stopping me. I WANT to do those things. I want to be the fun person again that goes out and has a great time with friends. I want to be the one to make my husband smile instead of worry. I want to be that strong willed, 'I am female, hear me roar' type person. And I know it's in me. I just have to let go of the fear. Once I conquer that grip WOW is it ever going to be fantastic. I personally get excited thinking about what it would be like to not have to deal with anxiety so much anymore. The things I could do that I've previously stopped myself from doing before. Like hiking trips with my husband. Or spontaneous road trips. When we travel home to visit family, if the trip doesn't go exactly as planned I get stressed and angry and I've ruined more trips than I can imagine...i'm tired of being that person. That's not who I want to be, it's not my full potential. I've been living with a screen of fear in front of me. I want to be brave and courageous! There is a bigger purpose for me in this life and I deserve the good things too. Wouldn't it be lovely to not be scared...the thought of it is so....peaceful!

You don't need panic attacks or anxiety to be an excuse to not do the things you don't want to do. There are plenty of other excuses you could use that make you feel alot better. Or better yet you don't even need an excuse at all. Just be honest with yourself, not fearful. Unlimit yourself and be free to chose.