I just started the program this month and am in the middle of session 2. The tapes reminded me of my first major panic attack which occurred in about 1999. I had been suffering from stress related anxiety for years before that, but had never experienced a full blow panic attack. One night I came home from work after a day that was not really any more stressful than others. My wife was not home yet and as I walked around the house I got a dull pain in my chest. My mind immediately raced to the point of thinking I was having a heart attack here and I panicked as I was all alone. At the time I was only 33 years old and in excellent physical condition. I ran at least 3 times a week and had nearly zero body fat. The likelihood that I was having a heart attack was remote at best. However, in my anxiety skewed mind that was the first thought I had. I can laugh about it now but at the time I was thinking to myself "Now which arm is it that I would feel numbness or pain in a heart attack, left or right? I lay down to try to relax but my heart just started racing faster and I could hear my heartbeat thundering in my ears like mad drumbeat. I was sweating profusely and my stomach was in knots. At that point I became convinced that I was losing my ability to breath and was gasping for air. In reality I was hyperventilating due to my panic. I got up quickly (which induced dizziness) and lurched to the phone where I dialed 911 and told the operator that I was having chest pains. Of course they immediately dispatched an ambulance which arrived within 5 minutes. The ambulance crew treated me as if I was having a heart attack and their treatment of me just exaggerated my panic reaction. I was taken to the emergency room where they ran numerous tests and confirmed that I was not having a heart attack. Of course by that time the panic attack had subsided and I had to deal with the embarrassment of having scared the living daylights out of myself and my wife. When she showed up in the emergency room that evening I wished I had died instead of being the boy who cried wolf. Luckily I have newer had such a severe panic attack again as I had that 1st time. I think the thing that made it so severe was its uniqueness. It caught me totally off guard and I never felt so helpless. Since then I have had numerous panic or anxiety attacks but never as severe. My condition became more of a generalized anxiety disorder. Hopefully through this program I can eliminate the anxiety and uneasiness that has ruined my enjoyment of life periodically. It took me years (and a lot of medical costs) to come to the realization that my problems had no physical basis. I came to believe it was a mental condition or a genetic flaw that caused this in me. The simple truth revealed in this program is that I am the cause of my own panic and fear. Even more revealing is that if I am the cause I can also be the cure for these same feelings. I hope to get there to full recovery, but even making this realization is a huge 1st step.

You certainly made the right decision to call 911. There was a Garrison Keilor story that talks about a family member who felt chest pains, took a couple of aspirin, went to bed and died. I am the world's healthiest hypochondriac. I have had every test known to man, all normal. Tonite I came home to a message about a MRI that was scheduled for me, I don't remember anything about that. My sister died of breast cancer a year ago and the DRs test me too much, they act like a victory for them would be to get a positive breast cancer diagnosis. I don't think or worry about it What's the point? You are not the first person to go to the emergency room with chest pains that turned out to be nothing. Its no big deal. If it weren't for you they wouldn't have a job. You have already realized that you are the only problem you are ever going to have and you are the only solution. You are going to do great. I love the relaxation tapes they have made a big difference for me in the last 3 weeks.

Reading your post Bob reminded me of my first panic attack. Very similar situation -- it was 3 1/2 years ago and I had just broken up with my girlfriend of 6 years. I had 2 cups of coffee and was on my way back from the grocery store and I felt this wave of anxiety start in my chest and run all the way to my head. I had no idea what the feeling was, I had never experienced it before. I thought my body was reacting because I hadn't eaten anything all morning. I pulled of the street and got out of my car, walking to try and calm down. Then I started thinking I might be having a heart attack--panic set in. I started hyperventilating and my face started going numb. I had been recreationally using cocaine the weekend before (probably self-medicating the breakup), and I thought it was causing the heart attack. Boom--guilt and anguish on top of the panic. I immediatly called 911, the ambulance came, and drove me 5 blocks to the hospital.

I was totally disoriented in the ambulance. They hooked me up to heart monitors and machines, and they found nothing. I got into the emergency room and they performed an EKG and other tests--nothing. They said I didn't even have high blood pressure and only a slightly elevated pulse. Of course, none of this was helping me because I still felt anxious. What was wrong with me?

I was anxoius for the next 4 months before I calmed down. Since then, I've had 2 other serious flare-ups of anxiety that would last for weeks. Interestingly enough, it wasn't until I listened to session 2 that I realized how often I've had small anxiety attacks in-between the big flare-ups of anxiety.

These small attacks never lasted very long--a few hours maybe--but they resulted in the same physical manifestations as the prolonged anxiety. Chest pains, muscle tension, stomach pains, racing thoughts, and oddly enough, incessant burping. These little attacks happen randomly--driving in my car, when I'm excessively tired, after a really hard workout--any time my body feels "off".

Session 2 has allowed me to identify all these episodes and label them. I can now recognize the anxiety and take it for what it is--simply anxiety. It is such a relief to know that it won't hurt me, although it is still hard to feel safe when an episode kicks in. Nevertheless, this program is doing something that 1 1/2 years of therapy was not able to do--immediately define and frame the anxiety and deal with it directly and acutely. It feels good.