I just celebrated my 7th wedding anniversary, but it was anything but a celebration. To make a very long story short I got married when I was 19 and pregnant. For the last 7 years I have moved out every summer wanting to get a divorce but I always come back. We have nothing in common, our morals are different, and our religion is different. This past summer I went through my first battle of depression and severe episodes of anxiety. Reason being: I had an affair and I told my husband. I have repented to my Lord and Savior, I go to counseling, am more involved in the church now, work two jobs, and am doing this program. My husband is not even making an effort to move past this. I know it is hard for him, and I don't expect immediate results, but he is getting worse eveyday. He self medicates with alcohol, and drugs, he constantly throws the affair in my face, does whatever he wants, and continues to harass this other guy. All of this I believe is keeping my anxiety at a higher level. Has anyone else gone through something similar? Any words of wisdom? This behavior isn't all from the affair, he has had a drinking problem since the first year of our marriage. I really can't keep living like this. Thanks, any advice is appreciated!

I think you know your answer youve tried every summer so you say! I think for you and your child you need to muster up the courage to just finally leave and let go.

Change is hard but maybe you have family or freinds that can help you out. If not there are all sorts or crisis centers in our state. (I am also from Illinois). Another idea would be to contact your local Alanon center. Its for spouses or relatives of alcholoics. I think it might be very helpfull to you.

I wish you luck linz and I think if you look deep inside you already knew this is the right thing to do. The relationship you have is not a good one. Theres better out there for you. God wants you to be happy.
Dodger

Thanks, I appreciate the bit of advice. The only other thing that keeps me from moving forward is the thoght that I owe him more time because of what happened. I sometimes feel like I should just hang in there because of what I put him through. But the problem is I am changing and he isn't making an effort. I just found out today that he quit his job, and he has been staying at his sister's house the last two days. I know God hates divorce but I truly believe he doesn't like marriages like this either.

linz360
You are me only 25 years later. I left - it was so hard - I didn't know who I was - I just knew that I wasn't a part of that marriage. It was tough - I left with 2 children and no education - I went back to school and now my kids are 22 and 25. They are still a part of their father's life - but they can see now that he and I weren't in anyway compatible. Don't feel guilty before you leave. My ex was into drugs and drinking - not something I wanted to be associated with and not something I wanted my kids to be a part of. Think about what you want - think about who you really are - what's important to you. Don't stay hoping that he will change. Mine didn't. GBY