gosh i have noticed so much this past week when i run for the food I get so stressed out and depressed about certain things that i catch myself running and shoving food in my mouth. It doesnt even matter what it is i shove it in
I had bulemia from jan 1981- oct 1981 luckily i stopped it on my own, back then noone knew anything about it. I would stuff myself with tons of food and throw up. Luckily one of my friends found out i did it and told my boyfriend. Just the embarassment of her telling him helped me to stop. thank god i could have died.
I have literaly just watched my habits lately. I get stressed about something and go straight to the cubboard. I have been asking myself ok lori what is it tht your upset about. And then i will tell myself what it is. And try to go and take care of what itis or if i cant fix it pray ect.
Now i know how i put all this weight on. To make myself temporary feel better or help to forget my pain. Now i have to somehow turn it around.
Anyone else do this or have problems in the past with this?
thanks
Lori

Yes, I do this. "Comfort eating" or "stuffing our feelings." It seems like such a great way for me to take my mind off my thoughts, problems, anxiety and depression. I used to do this with drinking, drugs, and even television. (Well, I still do at times. Not drugs, but with a glass of wine or watching mindless shows on t.v. to get me through the day.) Anything to distract me from ME!!! I don't stress-eat as much as I used to, now that I have the program, and like you said, I try to ask myself, "What's really bothering me?" Just merely being more aware of my habits and having new skills to cope has helped me slow the cycle down tremendously.

Lori, I know you have a lot going on with your sons, your husband, the memory of your brother, the passing of your friend, probably among other things too--it must be very difficult for you at times. I hope that you recognize how wonderful it is that you're willing to look at yourself and search for help through the forum, the program, and Jesus. You are such a brave and strong person. And the healthier your mind becomes, the better equipped you will be to deal with the day-to-day ups & downs of life.

One of the biggest lessons I've learned through the forum so far is ACCEPTANCE. Accepting me and all of me--my imperfections, my addictions, my thoughts, my negative self-talk, my fears, my anxieties, my sadness, guilt, and resentment. Instead of beating myself and feeling like I'm a bad person for the things I have done, do, or fail to do, I'm really trying to love myself. And if I reach for that comfort food, now I consciously know that I'm doing it. Sometimes I choose to pull my hand away, sometimes I indulge. If I indulge, I try not to say things like, "Oh, look at you! Look at what you're doing! You know it's not good for you to be doing this, but you are anyway! Stupid. Haven't you learned anything?!" That usually makes me feel worse and I continue shoving my face w/food. So getting back to acceptance, if I recognize what I'm doing, accept the act and not blow it out of proportion or beat myself up, and choose not to FIGHT myself, I usually end up better in the end, and the need for comfort eating or binge eating subsides.

You WILL make it through all of this... Love Lori unconditionally like you love your sons.

xoxox

thank you so much starting over you have really helped me alot when you post to me with your compassion and cheerleading efforts towards me and i appreciate it so much,
i think your doing great
hey what do you think of our show? dont you think that nyanza is mean? She is so mean to those women i hope she gets kicked out of the house soon! lol
take care and thanks
lori

Hahaha... So much drama!!! I really dislike Nyanza! Seriously, does she not see how absolutely brutal she is toward other women? She thinks she's being "authentic," but she is just plain MEAN! Every day I lose more respect for her and feel bad for the other women. And mostly, she reminds me of my (ex) best friend who I write a lot about!!! When she feels hurt or attacked, she'll just throw daggers that kill until she feels better about herself--the whole time not realizing how her words deeply wound and frighten everyone around her. That's how I got pushed away. I never had enough nerve to stick up for myself. And even when I tried, my feelings weren't valid in her opinion.

Anyway, I also read your post about your dentist appt. In the grand scheme of things, please remind yourself that your scary thoughts (i.e. swallowing fluid & choking) and scary feelings (panic attack & wondering if you'll pass out) are ONLY ANXIETY!!! What we imagine might happen NEVER DOES!!! You will be okay, you are okay, and good luck at your appt on Monday. Try listening to the relaxation tape before you go, and listen to some calming music or a MWC tape on the way to the appt, so your mind and body will already be relaxed when you get there. Much love.

ok thank you starting over i have to get through this im so bad but after i am done at the dentist i am going to go to village in and get a huge piece of pie for my reward, i know it sounds bad since i stress eat and want to lose weight but if it helps me through the appointment i am doing it i forgot the kind i like i think it is carmel pecan french silk it is soooo good lol Lori

ps i will have to wait to eat it like 3 hours later when my mouth thaws out LOL