I really want to be successful and do this for the love I have for myself, but right now it's not easy. I have negative feelings and thoughts right now and I am moody. I think maybe I can stiffle a good portion of that by just reasoning with myself, but then another style of reasoning sets in that I want to shake. My past patterns of behavior are that i don't finish things and I don't stay healthy and I don't stay positive. I am trying to move my butt outside a get running and lift some weights, but I'm not totally OK right now. I do have hope and faith and optimism and then I look at all the different things I've tried and never finished and I start feeling sad. Well I guess that's pretty stupid to feel sad about something I can't do jack about- I mean what the hell else do I have to lose?! I am sick and tired of abandoning myself, but I am afraid I will do it again. Thanx! Later.

Have the courage to say I will NOT abandon myself again! No matter what is required, I will do what I can to support myself emotionally, physically, and spiritually.

I think that you need to go into any diet or exercise changes with a mind-set of self-love rather than self-hatred. I find that when I start thinking about wanting to lose twenty pounds or wanting to get washboard abs or wanting to have perky boobs, my motivation to stay healthy drops to nothing. Because, first, I'm setting myself up for failure (I'll never be 130 lbs. and have perky breasts, short of plastic surgery). We have all of these commercials telling us that if we buy this or that product, we can make ourselves over into someone "perfect," but that's just not true. And, I think that most of us intuitively know that, so it's hard to stay motivated when looking "perfect" is our goal.

And, for me, I don't do well with "shoulds." Whenever I start telling myself I "should" be exercising more or "should" be eating better, I lose motivation. I start feeling like I'm an awful person if I don't, and why would you want to take care of yourself if you think you are an awful person?

I would say don't be too hard on yourself. Just because you missed a few days of exercise, let's say, doesn't mean you've failed or that you're back to square one. Just start up again. (I've also found that overexercising makes me lose motivation. I can happily do forty-five minutes of exercise a day. Every once in a while, though, I feel like I should do more and start trying to do an hour or an hour and a half. That usually lasts for two or three days and then I stop totally. I just am not the kind of person who can spend that much time working out, so now I don't even try.) And, if you have pizza once a week or get ice cream once in a while, it's no big deal, and it's certainly no reason to feel like you've blown it and should give up completely.

Anyway, I'm not sure if this helps you, but these are the kinds of things I had to work through before I was really able to make exercising and eating pretty well a part of my life.

I know this can be hard but don't look back to when you tried exercise and diet programs in the past and failed. Look at what you are doing now as a new start. When you start a diet and exercise program, at first it is hard and when you have trouble getting motivated, try exercising with a friend and then you can be each other's motivator. You might not see results at first but go by inches not pounds and by all means never weigh yourself. Measure you waist, arms and thighs and each time you lose some inches you can be proud of yourself for doing something that is good for you both mentally and physically. I hope this helps and do not give up.

Oh! I can relate to this. I've just started tape 5 today. I have been changing the diet since February and have lost 22lbs (yeah) I probly havn't lost any in the last month but I've kept it off by eating in moderation (smaller portion of potatos bigger portion of veggies or if a dessert I love is being served I skip the Carbos at dinner and have the dessert) This has worked well because I don't feel deprived.
The exercising is another story I hate it any time I've tried I've never stuck to it. Besides the motivation factor...I think to myself if I'm going to take time to myself (I have 4 boys 4,6,8 & 17) do I want to spend it exercising?? My goal this week is to take a walk 5 times this week then increase a little @ a time. You let me know how your doing and I'll keep you posted on my progress.
Becky

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I do have hope and faith and optimism and then I look at all the different things I've tried and never finished and I start feeling sad.
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When you remember what you have tried and never finished you are living in the past. You are going back, reliving the hurt, keeping those negative thoughts active, and keeping those negative emotions active through the thoughts. Forgive yourself for the past, let go of the guilt, and you won't go back to them. You will live in the present and those old thoughts and feelings will die. They are emotional baggage that you need to drop and not bring up again. Don't be afraid to fail. Go for it and be loving, kind, compassionate, and forgiving to yourself.

Thank you for all your responses. Becky, just to let you know, I have exercised twice this week in the morning before I've had breakfast. I ate well one day and now I am working on the rest of today. I will do this and implement change- I do not want to give up. To any of you out there, if it ever sounds like I'm not doing what I am able to or I sound like I'm veering off course, PLEASE say something, because I want my life to be different- I want to be different and I have made progress, but I really want assistance and support. Many of the things that I have done thus far in altering myself and my heart and my life have not been working for me, but I know that it's mostly me not workin what I know- I feel like I'm hard wired to leave major arenas of my life incomplete. I can't take that anymore. Thax! I'll be checking in soon.
-Reagan

reagan, how ya doing?

I'm doin' OK. I am struggling with consistancy with my diet and exercise still and I can feel the effects physically and emotionally. I decided to continue working on those changes while I start lesson 6 and this one is right up my alley. Ever since I was a child anger controlled me and has ruined many precious moments of my life that I try not to grieve over anymore. If you have any suggestions on how to make those dietary changes stick, I need to hear them, because my physical health is having a huge effect on my piece of mind. We'll chat more later.
-Reagan