I have suffered with the disorder for as long as I can remember. I'm 33 now, and in Week 5 of the Program...one of the major things I avoid is working out at the gym. Not because I'm afraid of a heart attack, but "simply" because I feel like I'm on display, if I don't know how to adjust the machines quickly and effortlessly, my face turns red, I start to sweat, etc. I can do an aerobics class OK, as long as it's in a private area. Funny thing is, I can do karaoke and speak in front of an audience with little to no anxiety. I tried an all-female gym but that didn't make much of a difference. I am pretty self-conscious taking walks alone too, so that's not a comfortable alternative...I'm OK at the gym if I'm with someone else, but none of my friends go to my gym, and I don't want to have to rely on someone else to take a walk with me, etc. I will walk in public though, but it's just not as enjoyable and I won't do it as long as I want because I feel like I'm carrying this "baggage" with me, and almost makes me more stressed than not working out at all. Anyone been there/there now?
I think the reason you are okay doing karaoke, etc. is because you tell yourself that you are okay. You've learned in Lesson 3 that you have all of these negative thoughts in your head - you may not always be aware of them without really trying to concentrate on what you are actually thinking - but they are there. As Lucinda says, we wouldn't be in the state we are in if we weren't negative thinkers.
I don't think you should quite the gym. You enjoy it and the exercise is so good for you. When you are there you just need to remember that people really aren't watching you adjusting the machines, they probably can't figure them out themselves - and so what if you can't figure it out right off of the bat, you can ask someone for help and maybe you'll both laugh about how difficult machines can be!
If you want to exercise outside of the gym - which I do a lot because I have a 3 year old and find it hard to get to the gym - I walk with headphones on for company or rollerblade with headphones. I actually had my husband make up a minidisc for me with his voice reading postive, reaffirming statements to me to help with my self esteem and worry issues. That way you can kill two birds with one stone - get your exercise and get more positive!
Thank you so much for your reply and insight. I "guess" I really haven't worked too hard at my gym pep talks - I've pretty much avoided the issue altogether!
Also, I'm glad to hear that your husband is so supportive of your recovery efforts! Kudos to him as well as you!!!
Stress Center Community 
