I am frustrated...After a great week last week, I got to feeling a bit more confident. After several panic attacks in church the last few years (including one where I had to leave), I had started sitting in the back few rows so I didn't feel so trapped and on stage. Well, last Sunday I decided to try sitting near the front. I had 2 extreme panic attacks during the service. Yes, they went away, but I was so uncomfortable, felt trapped, etc. that I feel really down now. It makes me wonder why I even tried in the first place. I tried the floating, breathing, etc., but my concentration on trying to deal with the panic seems to make me feel even more self conscious and anxious. With Easter Sunday service coming up, I will be going to church with my parents and they like to sit near the front. Any suggestions?

Rip12,

I can relate to how you are feeling. I work as Director of Music for two parishes, in three churches. I am in church for 5 liturgies every weekend. I have panic attacks sometimes during the liturgies too.

I never can stay in one place for the entire thing. I plan my time in church the way I plan any activity. I do the opening hymn from the choir loft and move downstairs for the readings and responses. I also walk to the back of the church while the homily is going on, and sometimes I will even walk outside for a couple of minutes. Then I come back and use either the piano up front or the organ in the loft depending upon how I feel.

I explained what was happening to me to the Pastor. He was very understanding. I wanted him to know that I wasn't being rude. Then he asked me if there was anything else he could do to help me. He is now one person who I can talk to and who really tries to understand.

I know that you probably think that you would be the only one moving around during a service, but believe me when I tell you that there are many people who do it. From where I am during the liturgies, I get a bird's eye view.

The other thing that helps is to take either an ice cold bottle of water with me or an ice cold gatorade. The gatorade usually gives my body the boost it needs to put everything back in sync. I also like to suck on peppermints.

Whenever I do have an attack, I take the hymnal and open to a new hymn, and concentrate on learning it. I've found several new ones that I have introduced to the congregation as a result of it.

When I do these things, my attacks do not seem to last as long. They seem to take the form of waves, and give me time to relax and regroup.

I hope something I said helps.

DW

DW,
Thanks for the help. It is nice to know others out there are going through the same thing as me. Safety in numbers right? Well, thanks again, I will try your suggestions.